A Kiss To Build A Dream On
by LaughLoveLiveXx
Summary: Sequel to Even Angels Fall. The girls find their lives turned upside down as they're thrown back into friendship once again by an unforeseeable turn of events, forcing them to face, not only, things they've been running from since high school, but secrets that they've even kept from each other. After all, a lot can change in five years.
1. Chapter 1

So guys, this is, at last, my sequel to Even Angels Fall, it's a future fic so it doesn't continue straight on where I left off, but, never fear, all loose ends left in the latter of the saga will be tied up in due time, as always, it's going to be dramatic and heavily Spemily- because, lets face it, they belong together.

Disclaimer: Yeah yeah, you know the drill, it's not my show.

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><p>Five Years Later<p>

Spencer POV

Hanna Marin sat in front of me, staring at me in awe. It had been a long time since it was just the two of us, too long. Actually, looking back, it's close to three years. She'd come to visit me at Princeton during my freshman year while she took a break from her classes. We'd both come a long way since then. But we hadn't outgrown each other's company it seemed; Hanna now co-owned her own jewelry and clothing brand, designed by herself and, the now incredibly successful, Aria Montgomery. I smiled when I thought about how perfect that was- and how sweet that they'd gone into business together. On top of that, Aria had published her first bestseller, a thriller that had rocked the fiction world. Emily was training for the 2020 Olympics, now twenty one and still in perfect shape, and captain of her team.

I smiled and looked down at the beautiful baby girl in my arms- my beautiful baby girl.

Hanna looked at me as I held her and smiled back,

"It's uncanny how much she looks like her," She laughed, aware that biologically my wife was no influence over her.

"That's because we used a donor who could have been her twin," I winked, she raised her eyebrows,

"And she let you? I thought that she would say that it should be random, and she'd be happy whatever the baby looked like. Or that she wanted a mini you."

"Actually, that's almost exactly what she said." I laughed, she looked at me quizzically, "What?" I said, raising my eyebrows, "My uterus, and my rules." Hanna burst out laughing and set her gaze on my daughter,

"Can I hold her?" she asked, I smiled and nodded and passed her carefully to her godmother, "Ah!" she exclaimed, "She's so real!"

"Really?" I asked, sarcasm dripping from my voice, "I could have sworn I gave birth to a doll…" she glared at me.

"Oh come on, you know what I mean!" she squealed. It was the first chance Hanna had gotten to meet her niece properly, except from in the hospital due to her premature birth. "She's so tiny," she whispered, brushing her finger across my baby's smooth cheek,

"Well, she is only two days old." I looked at Hanna incredulously, "Seriously Han, when you speak, do you hear yourself or is it just a big roaring in your ears?" I asked her, she rolled her eyes and smiled,

"So, have you guys decided on a name? Cause I can't keep calling her Spemily or baby girl or baby Hastings..." she trailed off,

"First, do not call our daughter by our couple name. It's way too creepy. And second, yes, but we're telling you and Aria together at dinner tonight." Hanna squealed again,

"You hear that baby genius girl?" she whispered to the sleeping baby in her arms, tickling her tummy with one finger, "You're going to have a name!" I laughed at how taken Hanna was with my daughter,

"Han, she already has a name. You just don't know it yet." I corrected her, she frowned at me.

"Just tell me and I'll act surprised, I promise." I shook my head,

"Sorry, baby girl genius will have to do until tonight."

Aria POV

"Hey," I called, walking into the sports center towards Emily, she smiled at me and hugged me tight, "God, look at you, you're glowing! I swear only pregnant women are supposed to get that?" I teased; she shook her head and couldn't help but grin.

"Just women who are incredibly in love with life." She smiled,

"Yeah, you have every reason to be." I smiled back, "You're an Olympic swimmer, and you're rich as hell, happily married with a beautiful, beautiful daughter. You really do have it all don't you?" Her eyes sparkled, and looked me up and down.

"What's up with you?" she giggled suspiciously.

"Nothing, I don't know what you mean." I laughed, feigning innocence,

"Come on, tell me!" she pleaded, "Aria, all I have done for the past two days is listen to my daughter scream and my wife complain about stretch marks, even though she's already back to a size two." Emily whined. I rolled my eyes,

"Don't pretend that you're not loving every second of it." I scolded and she grinned again,

"I do, but my point is that I need gossip. I need the outside world." I laughed at how much Emily had grown in confidence since we met, college had certainly been good for her, and she was now sounding scarily like Hanna.

"Alright, alright. I was going to say this at dinner tonight, but I…" I started, Emily's eyes were wide with anticipation, "Sorry, I just can't, I can't tell you first." I got in the car and Emily slid into the passenger seat next to me. We blasted music the whole ride home, with Emily stopping every few seconds to guess my news. We laughed and talked just like we used to right up until we pulled into Emily Hastings' house. I lay back in my seat and sighed contentedly; it was good to be home.

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><p>Emily POV<p>

"Hi honey I'm home," I called up the stairs as I entered the hall, Aria rolled her eyes at the cliché but I smiled, after all, there wasn't a lot of stereotypical stuff you could say about Spencer and I. I took off my coat and slung it on the rack next to Aria's.

"Mmh," Spencer moaned happily as I wrapped my arms around her, "I missed you." I grinned at her, meeting her gaze,

"I missed you too," I whispered, placing a quick kiss on her lips, before taking our daughter out of her arms and holding her tight,

"Hey baby," I whispered to her, stroking her tiny amount of hair. Hanna had appeared from upstairs unnoticed until now,

"Oh Aria!" she mocked, throwing herself into Aria's arms and kissing her cheek, "I missed you!" I rolled my eyes as Aria pushed her away, laughing. Somehow, even though our lives had changed so much, something between the four of us had stayed very much the same. We loved each other, supported each other and took care of each other. Because that's just what best friends do.

We'd planned to have a formal, sit down dinner, like the adults we were supposed to be, but instead, the four of us ended up sat on the bedroom floor, sharing an extra large pizza and a gigantic bowl of popcorn. Hanna had, of course, suggested tequila shots (Some things just never change), but Spencer still couldn't drink.

"Okay, truth or dare?" Hanna giggled at me, high on the atmosphere of having a sleepover again for the first time in three years, even if we were twenty one and parents, we were still young.

"Dare!" I squealed, Hanna pressed her lips together and her eyes lit up,

"Kiss Spencer." I couldn't believe what I'd just heard, neither could Aria, apparently.

"Hanna. Do you understand that we just had the opportunity to humiliate Emily into the next world and you asked her to kiss her wife?" she moaned and slumped back dramatically on the floor. I couldn't argue with that. I leant forward and captured Spencer's lips in a sweet and passionate kiss, let my lips linger there. I was suddenly hit by the strongest deja vu I had ever experienced, and apparently it was exactly what Hanna had intended.

"Do you remember that?" She asked me, smiling gently.

_We'd just watched as Hanna flashed the neighbor across the street and were still all peeling with laughter. _

"_Okay," Hanna laughed, pulling her shirt back down and dropping onto the floor of the barn. It was a Saturday night during the summer between junior and senior year in high school. "Emily, truth or dare?" Hanna slurred her words because, as per usual, she had by far had the most to drink. Wishing to avoid any more questions such as: 'What's it like to kiss a girl?', I opted for the lesser of two evils. _

"_Dare." I said, knocking back another tequila shot. Drinking had gotten to be a far more frequent hobby between the four of us lately, but responsible drinking. _

"_Kiss Spencer." She ordered, pointing at Spencer as if to clarify who she was. I rolled my eyes at Hanna and shuffled slightly closer to Spencer, pressing my lips to hers gently. I was about to pull away when Spencer cupped the side of my face, deepening the kiss. When we finally broke apart, she caressed my cheek gently before sitting back down and announcing it was Aria's turn now. I was heartbroken at the way she'd dismissed it at first, but all through the night she'd kept sending me surreptitious glances and small smiles across the room. _

"That was our first kiss." I whispered to Spencer, she smiled and squeezed my hand, letting me rest against her chest in a way that felt incredibly safe.

"You two were so sweet," Aria reminisced, a sad smile on her face,

"I must point out that the both of you conveniently left out the detail that the Hanna took a body shot off of you that night." Spencer pointed out and Aria and Hanna blushed accordingly.

"Oooooh," Hanna shrieked, "Spemily, truth or dare? Actually, I'm not asking, Spemily…truth!" I laughed but Spencer just stared Hanna down.

"Hanna, we're married, the couple name thing has to stop." She scolded in her mom voice,

"Whatever…so, what is the name of your beautiful baby?" she squealed, I looked at Spencer expectantly, but she shook her head,

"You tell them, Emily." She ushered, I smiled brightly,

"Hanna, Aria, meet your niece, Arianna Alison Hastings." Spencer grinned down at our daughter who was sleeping comfortably in my arms, Hanna's eyes widened and glistened with tears, fixing her gaze upon her niece and reaching out to hold her tiny hand,

"Alison would be so touched, you guys," Aria smiled softly, placing her hand on my shoulder,

"Yeah, she would have loved to have a niece, heck, she'd have spoiled her rotten," I laughed as Aria wiped a tear from the corner of my eye,

"Well, I'll just have to take up that responsibility," Hanna grinned, "Starting with this." she reached into her oversized purse and pulled out a white rectangular box, handing it to Spencer who took it apprehensively.

"It is suitable to open with my daughter in the room, right?" she asked tentatively, Hanna rolled her eyes and shoved Spencer playfully in the ribs,

"Spence, she's an infant, and a sleeping infant at that." She responded quickly, gesturing to Arianna and smiling as she did,

"Yes, but Han, she is Spencer's child so she's probably highly perceptive as it is." Aria quipped,

"Yeah yeah, just open it!" Hanna moaned bouncing slightly on her knees like an excited child;

"Alright alright, calm down Han..." Spencer mumbled, slowly removing the lid and rifling through the tissue paper until her fingers touched the soft fabric that was held inside, "Awh, Hanna...this is gorgeous." she said sincerely, smiling genuinely at our best friend before holding up a tiny, pale pink plaid babygrow with the inscription 'Baby Spemily' engraved on the chest,

"Hanna, it's brilliant." I smiled, lifting Arianna up and motioning her towards our blond best friend, "In fact, would you like to put it on her?" Hanna's face lit up like a child on Christmas morning,

"Really?" she asked astonished,

"Yeah, just be careful, she's not a barbie doll, she's a real person."

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><p>"So, how does it feel?" Aria asked me as she helped me carry the almost empty pizza box and the remainder of the bottles downstairs,<br>"How does what feel?" I asked her absent-mindedly taking the pizza box out of her hands and putting it in the fridge, before preceding to arrange the half empty alcohol bottles on the side,  
>"All of it, you know? Being a wife, a mother, everything...I mean, you have this whole other life in your hands to take care of and it's just..." I smiled and took a seat next to her at the breakfast bar,<br>"Honestly, Aria? It feels better than I ever could have dreamed, you know? I love Spencer even more than I did in high school, and you have no idea how many people have told us to be careful, and that people change and love falls apart...but honestly? After all we've been through...I don't think I could ever stop loving her. She's been my rock, my savior, my everything since we were sixteen, we went through some pretty dark times together; but we've made it, and we've come so far."  
>"I think you're right, I don't think you'll ever stop loving Spence, nor will she ever stop loving you. But that's not really what i was referring to..." she looked at me tentatively, fiddling with her fingers,"How are you coping, Em?" she asked quietly. I looked away and took a deep breath, trying not to bring to the surface the emotions that had stayed hidden for almost five years, "Em, I'm sorry, I shouldn't..." she started but I knew, and so did she, that I needed to talk. She reached out a hand and tilted my chin up and towards her,<br>"I'm scared, Aria..." I whispered almost inaudibly, "I'm so scared that I'm not going to do it right, or that...that I'll forget about her, or worse, that I won't be able to love Arianna as much as I should because I'm worried about forgetting her. I just can't handle it and I don't know what to do." I closed my eyes and let Aria embrace me tightly, and we sat there, alone in the dark, as I poured out my pain into my best friends chest.

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><p>AN So, for anyone that this confused, especially the last part, the confusion was intended! Although some of you may have been able to work it out, you're not supposed to know who Emily is talking about...so don't worry. Hopefully my next chapter will be up as soon as possible :)

Read and review please

~LaughLoveLiveXx


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Hey guys, sorry it's been longer than I anticipated as I've been writing for my other story, 'All Your Secrets And More', in preference.

Thank you for your feedback, let chapter two begin!

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><p>Aria POV<p>

"Are you sure you want me to come?" I asked Emily compassionately as I parked my car on the curb of the dimly lit street,  
>"If you don't mind," Emily nodded, "I hate going alone." I smiled understandingly at her, squeezing her hand decisively before making to get out of the car, she caught my eye and for a split second I would have sworn that we were back in high school. It was her 'typical Emily' look as Spencer called it; the look she adorned when she was trying to communicate without words, or to hide how upset she was.<p>

I looped my arm through hers as we walked in the cool air, continuing the charade of being sixteen again. It was Spring now, but the seasons didn't seem to mean as much as they used to. Spring used to mean three things for us: Spring break, Midterms, and that summer would come soon- but now the days just seemed like clockwork. To tell the truth, I missed high school- well, certain aspects of it at least. I missed the spontaneity of teenage life, mixed with the quiet comfort that we all found in the reassuring routine of school. I missed waking up everyday and knowing that I'd see Hanna, Spencer and Emily all day, that we'd always have each other.

Not that any of us liked to admit it, but we all knew that things had changed during college. We'd gone weeks, maybe months without talking, and I couldn't count the number of times that I'd told myself not to bother, just to make new friends and to move on, and I was sure that the other girls had said the same, but all it took was a phone call with one of the girls to make me realize how much I missed them, and how much I needed them.

Making new friends had always been out of the question for us, we'd been through far too much together for any bond that we formed with anybody else not to look inferior; the proof of that was sitting in front of me.

It was the first time I'd visited the grave of Emily's daughter since I'd moved back to Rosewood with Hanna almost three months ago. I tried to justify it, telling myself that I'd been busy, but I knew it wasn't good enough. In senior year of high school, I was here almost every day with Emily. Spencer had found it too hard to go everyday and cemetery's creep Hanna out, so most of the time it fell to me. Not that I minded, I liked graveyards, they were my best place to think.

I placed a hand on the headstone for a second in respect before sitting down beside Emily on the grass. She slipped her hand into mine and I held it tightly, as she began to speak. I tried not to listen too much, as I always did- I strongly believed that the conversations Emily has with her daughter should be personal and private. Instead I read the inscription on her gravestone:  
>'Elise Hayley Fields-Hastings,<br>2012  
>Lost before she could be found<p>

'I love thee with the breath,  
>Smiles, tears, of all my life!-and, if God choose,<br>I shall but love thee better after death.'

I'd read that inscription more than a thousand times, but not once had it lost it's power to bring tears to my eyes.

"You know why we named her that?" Emily asks me softly, moving closer to me as she does, I shook my head, wondering why it was that I didn't know.  
>"Elise means with God, and it's from the movie 'Somewhere In Time', it's one of Spencer's favorites, and her character is lost within the realms of the universe, whisked away from where she's wanted to be where she belongs. Hayley means heroine, or savior. It seemed so appropriate." I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and felt her weaken at the support, gently, I pulled her to me and let her head rest on my lap, stroking her hair sympathetically. "Of course, Arianna is pretty simple, it's Aria and Hanna."<p>

"It's a beautiful name, Emily." I whispered, "They both are. And a beautiful quote. The whole inscriptions beautiful, really." She smiled,  
>"Spencer wrote it, the first part. She took control of it all when I was too broken up about it. I picked the quote though," she mused, tracing her fingers along the thin blades of grass in front of her, "It was what Spencer said to me when I was in the hospital, the doctors said I wouldn't wake up, but when I did, that was the first thing I heard...it was the night that Spencer told me that she was in love with me." I felt a few of her tears drip onto my bare knees as she reminisced on the hardest years of our lives.<p>

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><p>Spencer POV<p>

"So, Mama Hastings," Hanna grinned as I dropped down onto my bed beside her,  
>"Yes, Miss Marin?" I asked, rolling my eyes at her,<br>"You have one beautiful daughter." She stated, I laughed and met her bright blue eyes in a smile,  
>"I know. And a very beautiful wife." She held my gaze for a moment before shuffling closer to me and wrapping both of her arms around one of mine, hugging it to her and resting her head on my shoulder, "Hey, what's up?" I asked softly, looking down at my best friend with concern. Although we were, and always had been, very close, we never had the affectionate sort of relationship that we both shared with the other two girls.<br>"Nothing," She whispered, "I just missed you."

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><p>Emily POV<p>

"Hey, I know it's late but do you want to stay out a little longer?" Aria asked me as we wandered through the cemetery towards her car, "You know, take a walk, maybe get some frozen yogurt or something?" I cocked my head to the side in disbelief as I looked at her,  
>"You know it's almost midnight, right?" I asked her sarcastically.<br>"I'm pretty sure that there are still stores open that sell frozen yogurt." She countered, pretending not to notice the sarcasm in my voice. I rolled my eyes in appeasement,  
>"Sure, why the hell not?" I asked her, worrying myself at how unlike myself I sounded,pretty certain that I'd never used that phrase before in my entire life.<p>

We dawdled along the street in silence, both of us surprised, but not entirely shocked, that our subconscious's had lead us here. It was the street where Aria used to live, a block away from where Spencer and I still lived, and two blocks away from Hanna's. I smiled to myself at the picture perfect memories that were scattered haphazardly everywhere I looked. The memories from what Spencer always refers to as 'the first summer' alone epitomized the American dream, but were always overshadowed by the horrific recollections of our latter years of school.

My smile turned sad with reminiscence as we passed the DiLaurentis' old house, a lump formed in my throat, the same way it did every time I came into the vicinity- formed of the regrets of not one, but two of the girls I once loved.

"It's alright Em," Aria whispered, placing her hand on my arm, I nodded as I lifted my eyes to hers, "It just hurts." I took a deep breath, steadying myself, now determined not to cry again tonight. "It's great yogurt, huh?" I joked, nudging Aria in the ribs and licking a mouthful of strawberry yogurt off of my spoon,  
>"It is," She grinned, mimicking my action, "I just really felt like it you know?" She asked nonchalantly, continuing to walk street aimlessly.<p>

I stopped dead in the middle of the street,  
>"Aria?" I called out,<br>"Yeah?" She turned around, walking towards me somewhat cautiously,  
>"Wasn't it your idea to order pizza earlier?" I asked suspiciously, recalling Aria's insistence that we ate Italian food with salted popcorn and chocolate ice cream, "And you were really quick to let Hanna and I drink and agree to stay sober with Spence because she's breastfeeding..." I prompted, looking expectantly at her, my mouth twitching at the edges in a covert smile.<p>

"Yeah, so?" She blushed, beginning to laugh hesitantly, "I don't know what you're getting at." I put my hands on my hips, in an attempt to be intimidating, and watched her carefully, she looked awkwardly around the empty street, obviously trying to avoid the eye contact I was desperate to gain.  
>"So, lets review shall we?" I teased, "No drinking, random, very specific, cravings, more than your average amount of questions about Spencer's pregnancy..." Walking towards her slowly I ticked the symptoms off on my fingers. She bit her lip, blushing profusely. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were pregnant." I practically sang. She sighed heavily before grinning up at me,<p>

"Fine, okay, yes...I'm pregnant, and I was going to tell you guys tonight but I didn't want to steal your thunder or anything so..." Aria babbled quickly, her cheeks turning more pink and her eyes wide, but a genuine smile plastered on her face. I squealed, hugging her tight for a second before pulling back and holding her by the shoulders so that I could look her dead in the eyes without her moving.

"This," I smiled, placing one hand on her stomach, "Could never steal out thunder."

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><p>Hanna POV<p>

"So, did it hurt?" I asked Spencer casually as I lay on her bed flipping through a medical book that was laying on her bed, she raised her eyebrows distractedly before exasperatedly replying,  
>"Did what hurt?" I smirked at the perplexed look on her face as she fiddled with the baby monitor,<br>"Everything, InVitro, pregnancy, labor, giving birth..." I listed before grabbing the monitor out of her hands, "Here, let me do that." She let the device slip out of her hands but continued to stare at me incredulously,  
>"Nope, not a bit. It was all just a barrel of laughs." she muttered sarcastically, I raised my eyebrows,<br>"Sorry for asking." I murmured.

With a defeated expression, Spencer dropped the laundry she'd been folding and flopped down next to me on the bed,  
>"I'm sorry Han, I just, I'm exhausted." She sighed, running her hands through her hair and letting her eyes flicker shut momentarily,<br>"You look it," I agreed. She snorted with laughter, looking up me,  
>"Thanks Han, politely telling me that I look like crap." She paused in thought, "But in answer to your question, yes, most of the things that you listed hurt like hell." I screwed up my nose and she laughed again,<br>"Don't look so disgusted," She scolded playfully, "It was all worth it."

The air between us lapsed into comfortable silence for a moment, Spencer closed her eyes again as I began to tease her hair around my fingers,  
>"That's nice," She whispered, visibly relaxing now, "I haven't slept in forever."<br>"You know, if you ever need a break, Aria and I are around a lot, we're always happy to babysit." I offered, still playing with her hair and smiling inwardly at how, in one evening, Spencer and I had seemingly restored the foundations of the friendship that we'd almost lost over the past few years. She laughed lightly but shook her head,  
>"Thanks Han, but I'm now where near ready to let her out of my sight yet. Maybe in a few more sleepless nights I might feel differently."<p>

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><p>Aria POV<p>

"Thank you, for tonight." Emily whispered as she flicked on the hall light,  
>"Hey, no problem," I replied sincerely, slipping my shoes off and throwing my jacket onto a hook,<br>"I think Arianna's asleep," She mouthed as we climbed the stairs and passed her nursery, Emily peeked her head round the door, blowing her daughter a kiss goodnight before turning to me, "Are you and Hanna sleeping here tonight?"  
>"I guess," I answered uncertainly, it was amazing how quickly we'd slipped back into our old routine of meeting at a house and never leaving, like wherever one of us lived was home to us all.<br>"Well you're welcome to," She smiled as she eased her bedroom door open, careful not to let it creak, "In fact, I think the decision's already been made." She laughed quietly, motioning for me to come and look with her,  
>"Shh," I whispered as she closed the door behind us, "Don't wake them."<p>

Both of our gazes fell to rest upon our best friends, Hanna was laying on her side with Spencer wrapped protectively in her arms, both fast asleep.  
>"They're so cute when they're sleeping," Emily mused, pulling a blanket out of the linen closet and draping it over the two of them,<br>"They sure are," I agreed, "It's just the hours that they spend awake that are the problem." She laughed and rolled her eyes,  
>"You wouldn't change Hanna for the world." She argued, I nodded in begrudging agreement,<br>"It's true, as much as she drives me mad." I conceded.

Hanna groaned as she rolled over in her sleep, hitting her head against my elbow she promptly woke up,  
>"Where have you guys been?" She asked sleepily,<br>"Just out," Emily shrugged, pulling off her shirt and reaching for a tank to sleep in,  
>"Yay, strip show." Spencer enthused from her position on the bed, Emily glared at her and threw her a shirt, skillfully managing to hit her wife in the face with the item as she did,<br>"Stay quiet Aria," Hanna stage whispered, "I think they're having a domestic." She winked at me and I chuckled.  
>"Oh, yay, Hanna and Aria are still here, guess I'm not getting any tonight." Spencer grumbled with fake displeasure, earning her another slap to the head from Emily.<p>

"Good God I've missed this." Hanna thought out loud, surveying the room happily, "You know what I haven't missed?" she asked rhetorically. We all felt the silence of fear wash over us, none of us making eye contact with the others except for to swap small, sympathetic smiles every now and again.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The four of us looked to each other as we always did in times of great need, in need of reassurance or support. And now, in need of conformation.

"That did not just happen." Hanna whispered, staring pointedly at Spencer's dressing table, where all four of our cell phones lay.  
>"It can't have done." Emily choked, pleading with her eyes that we block out the truth.<br>"It must have done, Emily, we can't all have imagined the same thing." Spencer snapped, getting up from her spot and retrieving the offending devices. Handing one to each of us, she smiled weakly, taking Emily's hand in her own and kissing it gently,  
>"On the count of three," She instructed shakily, taking a deep breath. "One...Two...Three."<p>

**Five Years. Four Liars. Three Secrets. Two Bargaining Chips. One Threat. **  
><strong>You Better Do As I Say Bitches, I'm Back- And This Time? I'm Not Leaving. -A<strong>

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><p>AN I don't know how well this chapter reads, it's certainly not my favorite chapter but I hope it's okay :)

Please Review!

~LaughLoveLiveXx


	3. Chapter 3

Here's chapter three.

I'm glad you guys were all shocked by A coming back, and no, just for the record, I don't think A will be Mona- although anything could happen so you never know.

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><p>Spencer POV<p>

"Well fuck me." Hanna muttered into the tension of the room.  
>"Oh how eloquent." I chided, attempting to lighten the atmosphere, even if just a little- for Emily's sake. I could tell from the looks on my best friend's face that no one was really in the mood for anything anymore- suddenly our reunion night of teenage immaturity was shattered into the dystopia of our real teen years, those that were haunted by A. I put my head in my hands, searching in my head for the words that I needed to say, the phrase that would comfort Emily and reassure Hanna and Aria; after all, it'd always been me to pick up the pieces in high school. Back then, I'd been the leader of the 'A-hunt' as Hanna called it now, so I didn't see why it would be any different now.<p>

"Arianna." Emily mumbled weakly, her voice cracking. I exhaled deeply, shaken from my thoughts and left frustrated by their fruitless nature.  
>"What about her?" I sighed, my words coming across harsher than I'd intended, turned bitter by the morbid reminiscence floating in my head. Emily turned to look at me properly, moving her hand from my knee where it had been resting for the last half hour or so. Her eyes were wide with hurt and disbelief, filling with tears slowly with every painful second that they bore into mine.<br>"She' crying, Spencer." She snapped, leaving the room quickly without looking back. I mentally berated myself for not hearing her, for not paying enough attention to the outside world and getting caught up in A all over again. I bit my lip in anger at myself as I followed my wife out of the room.

"Em, I'm sorry." I whispered, leaning against the pale purple door of our daughters nursery. I watched as Emily scooped her out of her crib and held her tightly to her chest, bouncing ever so slightly on her heels as she did in an attempt to comfort her.  
>"Save it." She bit back, the venom of her words attacking me right where it really hurt.<br>"Emily," I pleaded. She rolled her head back, wiping the tears trickling down her face with one hand, still rocking Arianna with the other.

"I just- I just can't go back there with you, Spence. I can't do that again." She's crying hard now, possibly even harder than our daughter who's still screaming in her mother's arms. I reach forward to comfort Emily but she flinches away and it feels as though I've been punched in the gut. "Spencer, what you had in high school was an unhealthy obsession with A. It wasn't normal Spence and it hurt me- it hurt me so bad to watch you go for days without sleeping, driving yourself mad slowly by not finding anything, running off all over the city for nothing. Putting yourself in danger, Spencer. And God damn it I won't do that again!" She screamed, throwing the baby monitor across the room in frustration of not being able to turn it off with one hand, watching it shatter into thousands of tiny shards of plastic as she did.

I was crying too by the time she finished. I didn't yell back. I couldn't find the strength to do so. I simply wrapped my arms around my wife and daughter and sobbed with them for as long as we needed to. Emily was the first to stop crying; taking a few, deep shuddering breaths before handing me Arianna.  
>"I think she's hungry," She smiled weakly, wiping away the remaining tears from my cheeks with her fingertips.<p>

* * *

><p>"So, how much did the two of you hear?" Emily asked sheepishly as we settled back down on our bed with Aria and Hanna. They looked awkwardly at each other before Aria finally responded with,<br>"Enough, but it's okay." She nodded compassionately.  
>"Arianna needs feeding," I stated, rocking my still crying baby in my arms, "I'm not shy, but I can go feed her in the nursery if it makes either of you two uncomfortable." I looked from Aria to Hanna. Aria shook her head and Hanna just rolled her eyes,<br>"Please, if I had a dollar for every time I'd seen your pathetic excuse for a chest I'd be rich." The blond remarked, Aria raised her eyebrows simultaneously with me,  
>"When?" We asked in unison, laughing now. Hanna tapped the side of her nose.<br>"Perv." I muttered, looking playfully at Hanna as I handed Arianna to Aria. "Can you hold her for a second?" I asked, making Aria beam. She pulled her niece into her chest and for the first time in what felt like forever, she stopped crying entirely. "Wow, you're magic." I remarked as I Slipped my tank top off and un-clipped the left side of my feeding bra.  
>"Woah, Spence. She's really hungry." Emily smirked, gesturing to where Arianna was sucking on Aria's bicep as she cradled her.<br>"Geez." I murmured, peeling my daughter away from her godmother, "Sorry Aria."

The brunette chuckled and passed her over to me carefully, rubbing the red mark on her pale flesh tenderly,  
>"It's alright." She replied,<br>"Emily's covered in marks like that," I pointed to the one on Aria's arm, "When she gets hungry she'll try to feed off of anything." Hanna laughed immaturely,  
>"Oh, I thought those marks were from you." She smiled, gaining a well deserved smack on the arm from Emily.<br>"She's like her mother, always hungry." Emily smiled fondly. Hanna leaned over to get a closer look, smiling lovingly.  
>"So beautiful." She murmured, gazing at Arianna as she fed.<br>"You better be referring to my daughter, not my wife's breast which you're staring so longingly at." Emily berated her mockingly, smirking as Hanna blushed.  
>"Yeah, something you need to tell us Han?" Aria giggled,<br>"Hanna, you know that we'll always love you," I assured her sincerely, placing my hand over hers, and fighting a smile, "If you like girls, that doesn't change."

Aria and I burst into raucous laughter as Hanna scowled at us, faking a hurt expression.  
>"Just because I haven't dated in a while." She grumbled. Not that anyone paid any attention to her.<p>

* * *

><p>Hanna POV<p>

"Five years. Four liars. Three secrets. Two bargaining chips. One threat." I read loud, pondering the message. It was the first time that any of us had dared to mention it, not wanting to cause any friction between anyone, although we all knew that it needed discussing. After all, _A was __back_-that wasn't something that we could ignore. "Well, the five years obviously means the five years since A last texted." I concluded, looking to each of my best friends.

"Really?" Spencer gasped mockingly, "I never would have guessed." Emily laughed and smacked her gently on the thigh before wrapping her arms back around her. They looked so peaceful together, even in the awful predicament that we found ourselves in now. Emily was resting against the headboard of their bed, with Spencer laying between her legs, resting her head against her shoulder with her wife's arms wrapped around her. Aria held Arianna whilst she slept, taking advantage of her ability to quiet the baby within seconds.

"Four liars, that's us," I stated, skimming through the message again, "Three secrets?" I paused. "So two of us share a secret?" I asked confusedly, looking to Spencer for clarification.  
>"I guess that's us, Em." She whispered by way of answering. Emily nodded and pulled Spencer closer, kissing her hair gently as she did.<br>"Wait, so does this mean that we have to start telling each other everything again?" I asked, wide eyed. Aria nodded,  
>"I guess so, it's not so bad though, right?" She asked, looking around to try and gain support. Spencer and Emily nodded fervently, "We already know pretty much everything about each other." I shrugged, not willing to divulge anything at this point.<br>"Two bargaining chips?" I exclaimed, "What the heck is that supposed to mean?" Spencer shrugged,  
>"Beats me." She responded. Emily looked worriedly at Aria, her big brown eyes revealing more secrets than they were keeping. Spencer coughed comically, grabbing her wife's attention and looking at her sternly.<p>

"Em, do you know something we don't?" She began, raising her eyebrows and holding Emily's gaze. Something flickered in Emily's face, provoking Spencer's expression to fall, her eyes widening and filling with tears. "You don't think?" She pleaded, biting her lip as she looked from Emily to Arianna. Emily nodded carefully, her face just as crestfallen as Spencer's.  
>"A wouldn't..." I exclaimed as it dawned on me what they were both thinking. "They couldn't hurt her."<p>

Aria sighed loudly before looking apprehensively at the baby resting in her arms,  
>"Han, in high school, one of A's team hit her best friend with a car." She started, "They tried to kill Spencer. They split up my parents and raped Emily." She shrieked, "Don't tell me that you think A has boundaries? They have no morals; no conscience! They'd hurt either of our children with a smile on their face!" Aria was becoming hysterical now, shaking all over, her bottom lip trembling as i maneuvered my body around hers for support. I pulled her back so that her head was resting on my clavicle, mimicking Spencer and Emily's position in a way.<p>

"Hang on a minute," She grinned, leaning forward to face Aria properly. "Am I mistaken or did you just say 'either of our children' instead of 'our child'?" She questioned, cocking her head to one side and raising her eyebrows. Emily bit her lip to keep herself from smiling and I looked at Aria expectantly. Aria blushed as Spencer continued. "You did, didn't you?" She asked, beaming. "Why didn't you tell us?" She squealed, wrapping her arms tight around Aria, almost squishing her daughter between them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked indignantly, "We live together!"  
>"In that case, how didn't you realize?" Spencer inquired patronizingly before turning back to Aria.<br>"How far along are you?" She asked, lightly pressing her hand against Aria's stomach. She shrugged against me and turned to meet my eyes,  
>"I wanted to tell you all together, but it was Spencer and Emily's night to share big news, not mine." She offered as an explanation, I huffed but couldn't pretend to stay mad.<br>"Oh well," I shrieked, "I get another niece!" Emily cut me off with a look of apprehension,  
>"Not all babies are girls, you know that right Han?" She asked condescendingly. I rolled my eyes,<br>"Yes, but it has to be a girl. I wouldn't know what to do with a boy." I responded, sticking out my tongue at Emily. Aria laughed,  
>"Well, as clueless as you are with baby boys, so long as it's healthy I really don't care about gender." Spencer nodded,<br>"Ooh, if you're due soon, our kids will be in the same grade!" Spencer giggled excitedly.

"Speaking of," Emily interjected, "Have you seen a doctor about all of this?" Aria shook her head,  
>"I only took the tests a week ago, but I'd had suspicions for a while." Spencer nodded understandingly,<br>"Hey, if you want I can refer you to the doctor that I used all through my pregnancy with Arianna," She offered,  
>"She's really good," Emily added, "Even Spencer couldn't fault her knowledge." Spencer smacked Emily on the thigh before pulling her wife into her, resuming their earlier position but the other way around.<br>"I'll come with you, if you want." Spencer said thoughtfully, "I've got some medication that I needed to pick up anyway, so if you need someone there..." Aria nodded fervently,  
>"Thanks Spence."<br>For the first time since the revelation, the father crossed my mind. Aria hadn't had a serious boyfriend since Ezra, and that had ended sometime in Junior year of college, for reasons that none of us quite understood. Sure, she'd dated, but nothing serious...or so I thought. But it didn't seem the right time to approach the subject, not yet.

"Right," Emily yawned, glancing at the clock, "Considering that we're no longer teenagers, and Spencer and I barely sleep anymore as it is, I'd say that it's about time we went to bed." I read the display on Spencer's digital clock, shocked that it was already three AM.  
>"You guys can take the guest room." Spencer instructed, lifting Arianna from Aria's lap and making for the door. "This little lady needs to get to bed too," She smiled, kissing her daughter's forehead. "I'm going to put her down, I'll be back in a minute Em." She smiled at her wife, who nodded approvingly, following her out of the door, but in the opposite direction to the room at the other end of the hall.<p>

Opening the door wide, she gestured for Aria and I to follow,  
>"Bathrooms just there," She pointed to the door in the wall, "Blankets, towels and everything else are in the linen closet. Anything you need, feel free to wake Spencer." She said dryly, gesturing to everything in the bedroom as she said it.<br>"Emily, honey, we know where everything is." I laughed, "This is Spencer's old house, we used to spend almost everyday here as kids." She nodded,  
>"Right, I forgot." She sighed, exhausted.<br>"Goodnight Em," I whispered, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek before stepping back and allowing Aria to do the same.  
>"Night," She murmured, closing the door behind her as she walked out of the room.<p>

* * *

><p>Spencer POV<p>

"Is she alright?" Emily asked as I walked back into the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.  
>"She's perfect." I replied confidently, flicking off the light and crawling into bed next to her. The room fell silent but I could tell that Emily was straining her ears for any trace of noise that could possibly indicate that our daughter was in danger.<br>"Relax, sweetheart." I whispered, tucking a strand of Emily's dark hair behind her ear, "Her window's shut, all the doors to the house are locked and there's no-one lurking around outside." I assured her, "I checked." She laughed a little, kissing my lips softly.

"I'm scared." She admitted as we started to fall asleep. I sighed, I was to. Terrified, even-but telling her that wasn't going to help.  
>"Then I'll protect you." I promised, enclosing my arms around her waist and pulling her to me until her back was flush against my chest.<br>"I love you Spence," She said faintly as she closed her eyes. I smiled against her neck, kissing her exposed skin gently.  
>"I love you more."<p>

* * *

><p>AN I hope you guys liked this.  
>A will be more active in the next chapter I think, and what's the opinion on M-ratings for this fic? Let me know :)<br>~LaughLoveLiveXx


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four has arrived.

More A?

Let's hope so...

* * *

><p>Hanna POV<p>

I slipped out of Spencer and Emily's guest room quietly, checking first that Aria was still fast asleep beside me. I leaned over and kissed her forehead whilst she slept, pulling the sheets up around her. I owed her everything, really- things that I could never repay her for. I loved her more than I'd ever loved anyone, sometimes more than I thought that I should- but that never seems to be the case. I think that most of the time, the glimmer of thought that proposes Aria as more than a friend is just the subconscious antidote to loneliness.

But she's there. Thank God, and now I would be there for her in the same way as she had for me.

I tiptoed into the nursery, surveying the place properly for the first time. It was Spencer's room, and to me that was what it always would be- even if it would be Arianna's nursery for the next stage of our lives it would always remain, in my mind, the shrine to our friendship that Spencer's room had always been. We'd spent a lot of time here as kids, come to think of it, more than at anyone else's houses- probably because Ali always suggested it, Spencer after all, had the biggest bedroom out of the five of us. And because it was notoriously a parent-free zone. Unlike Emily's, which was our safe place- where we went when we all needed to feel warm and protected. Pam Fields was always waiting, always looking for an excuse to cook and look after us all.

Just like Emily.

"Just like your Mama." I murmured to Arianna. Her eyelids fluttered peacefully and I knew that she was dreaming. I reached down into her crib and placed my hand on her tiny body, my fingers almost the same length as her entire torso. Rolling onto her side towards me, she grabbed my pinky finger and curled her fist around it fiercely. I smiled down at my goddaughter, knowing in that moment that I'd do anything for the beautiful little girl in my grasp to stay so innocent, so safe.

_"Hanna," Emily shrieked breathlessly into the phone, "It's time." I screamed, grabbing my purse and car keys, yelling Aria's name loudly up the stairs to her bedroom,_  
><em>"We'll meet you there." I promised, her screaming Aria's name again as I hung up. She came tumbling down the stairs, barely keeping her footing- obviously having inferred from the urgency what night this was.<br>We drove at twice the limit to the hospital, the entire journey blurring into a distant memory that only lasted a few seconds by the time we reached the hospital. The next few hours had been spent taking it in turns to get Spencer ice and relieving Emily from her bone crushing grip. We chattered so much over the four hours and twenty two minutes that Spencer was in labor, that by the time we reached the waiting room when Spencer was giving birth, there was nothing left to say. _

_We could hear her screaming all the way down the hall, never one to downplay any form of drama. Her screams were all that broke the silence as we sat, hand in hand, in anticipation for what seemed like forever. Finally Emily had come running out, tears streaming down her face out of elation.  
>"She's here!" She cried, "She's tiny, but she's here!" <em>

_It wasn't until hours later that I finally got to visit my goddaughter; she was so tiny that she'd been placed in an incubator in the intensive care unit. Emily had been torn all night between her wife and daughter, wanting desperately to be in two places at once. I sat beside her in her glass box, wishing that I could hold her, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks. _

_"Hey baby girl," I whispered, placing my palm flat against the glass, hoping that it would somehow make me feel closer to her, "I'm your Aunt Hanna, and I am going to spoil you so much." I laughed, watching as her eyes flickered open just a little bit, "But I can teach you things too, like how to talk to boys, and how to style your hair...and how to make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. I'll be your cool Auntie, the one who lets you eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner, who let's you wear the make up that your Moms won't let you wear and stay up past your bedtime- because God, I love you, little girl. I'll always be there, and you can always come to me, to talk, or laugh or cry. When you fight with your parents, or if you just need somewhere to turn. I'm here now, the night you were born, and I swear that I'll love you until the day that I die."_

"Always," I promised her, "I'm always here. You're always safe."

Emily POV

I felt tears prick my eyes as I stood silently in the doorway of my daughter's bedroom, watching the interaction between her and her Aunt.  
>"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" I asked Hanna quietly. She turned abruptly at my voice, and it was only then that I noticed how much I must have startled her. She shook her head once, looking long and hard at Arianna before looking back up at me.<br>"I don't think that I'll ever sleep again." She sighed bitterly. I laughed and she finally smiled.  
>"She looks like you." She commented suddenly, "Your hair, and your cheek bones. But Spencer's eyes." She hummed thoughtfully and I followed her gaze,<br>"She certainly does." I agreed. "And she's beautiful."

On an impulse that I haven't felt for years, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around Hanna, squeezing her tighter with each second and enjoying the feeling of her holding me back. Allowing myself to relax I buried my face into the crook of her neck and sighed. She still used the same shampoo, the same apple scent that would always remind me of blond hair and sarcasm.

"Thankyou." I whispered into her warm skin, "For being my best friend." She gave me one last squeeze, swaying from side to side as she did and released me, holding my hands in front of her.  
>"God, I've missed you!" She mused, looking me up and down as she did. I smiled brightly and embraced her again.<p>

"I've missed hugging you everyday," I whispered, not caring how childish it sounded, "And listening to you banter with Spence, and talking with Aria- the way her eyebrow quirks slightly when she's confused. Our sleepovers, our memories...I guess I just miss it all." I wiped a stray tear from my eye as I let her go again. She placed her hands on my hips to stop me from moving as she spoke.  
>"I'm here now." She whispered sincerely,<br>"And I'm back for good."

I held her gaze for a moment, even after she released me before turning away and wiping my eyes as I stooped down to scoop my baby out of her crib. She whimpered slightly at the movement but soon settled down into my chest, making contended sucking noises as she kissed the air.

"God you're so lucky." My best friend whispered enviously, tickling my daughters stomach with her finger. "You have this whole other life to look after. She's you, but she's Spencer too." She pressed her lips to Arianna's soft cheek and let them rest there. "You've got to be the luckiest kid on the planet." She smiled against her skin.  
>"She sure is." I agreed, ruffling Hanna's hair in a motherly way. "And she's not going out of my sight until A is out of our lives forever." I told her, a grimace forming on my lips.<p>

With a fleeting glance at Arianna, I tucked her into her godmothers arms.  
>"I just need to grab some things," I informed her as I busied myself about the room, "She's coming to sleep in my room, but she can't share a bed with us. She's too tiny and fragile." I explained as I grabbed her basket and a few blankets, along with a stuffed dolphin that Veronica Hastings had bought her the night that she was born."Oh right," She nodded, looking distractedly out of the window.<p>

"Em?" She asked, her voice shaking. I turned worriedly towards her and she met my eyes with fear. "Remember the first time we ever saw A?" She pushed urgently, I nodded compassionately, dropping what I was holding to the floor carefully and walking towards her.

"On Halloween, right?" I asked gently, trying not to upset Hanna more than she already was. She nodded fretfully, pointing out of the same window of which we'd first seen our misery.  
>"They're back." She whimpered. Gesturing towards a dark figure standing in the middle of our lawn, mimicking the exact position in which the first figure had stood all those years ago. "It's all starting again."<p>

* * *

><p>"Spencer, I'm telling you, A was right there!" I screamed exasperatedly at my wife, pointing out of the nursery window. She took a deep breath to calm herself before she attempted to talk to me, staring out of the window at the exact spot that A had been standing in not ten minutes before,<p>

"I'm not saying that they weren't," She replied evenly, "But they're not there now. Arianna's safe and the house is still locked up, it's alright I promise," She looked to Hanna and Aria for support and they nodded slowly, "Now, let's go back to bed, shall we?"

Wrapping an arm around my shoulders she gently guided me out of the room, Arianna's basket swinging from her other arm.  
>"Thank God that no-one has to work tomorrow." Aria sighed.<br>"Ugh," I groaned as I slotted the wooden stand for Arianna's baby basket together, "I have practice tomorrow." Hanna smirked,  
>"I hat to break it to you honey, but you have swim practice today." The blond laughed, gesturing to the clock. I groaned again and reached out to take my daughter from her, but Spencer intercepted me and lifted her into her arms.<br>"It's okay Em," She whispered, kissing my temple, "I got her, you go back to sleep."

Hanna and Aria bade us goodnight again and slipped out of the room, leaving us alone in the darkness. I closed my eyes, willing sleep to come my way unsuccessfully. I felt my wife climb into bed beside me and press her body against mine. I rolled over to face her, our noses touching- a small form of comfort in a frightening predicament. Spencer kissed me chastely on the lips, gazing long and hard into my eyes before holding me tightly, pulling my head down to rest against her chest as I started to fall asleep in her arms- the safest place in the world.

* * *

><p>Aria POV<p>

"So, Aria, I just got off the phone with the doctor and she said that she can see you today at 9am sharp, if that's quite alright with you?" Spencer asked as she walked into her kitchen, placing her phone down on the counter as she did and pouring herself a cup of strong black coffee. I nodded my consent to Spencer, taking a long sip of decaf coffee as I did,  
>"Sounds good to me," I assured her, she smiled absentmindedly as she rummaged in the fridge, pulling out four plastic boxes of fruit and throwing a handful of each into the blender with a glass of milk.<br>"Em!" She called out to her wife who she assumed was upstairs, "Your breakfasts ready when you are." Emily yelled her thanks back and Spencer turned to me,  
>"What do you feel like eating?" She asked me, turning back into the kitchen, I shook my head and picked up my coffee,<br>"Nothing, I'm all set." I assured her, smiling as I took another long sip. She glared at me disapprovingly,  
>"Well, Aria may be 'all set', but baby still needs food." She said sternly, "So, what will it be?"<p>

"Hanna Marin!" We heard Emily scream from upstairs, followed by the bang of the door and loud, and slow footsteps.  
>"Uh oh," Spencer said comically, raising her eyebrows in mock fear, "That's her Mom voice." She nodded knowingly at the mixture of amusement and shock on my face, "Was Hanna out of bed when you got up?" She asked concerned, I laughed.<br>"Yeah, right." I smirked, "When have you known Hanna not to be the last out of bed?" She nodded thoughtfully,  
>"That is true," She murmured.<p>

A rather disgruntled looking Hanna sloped into the kitchen a few minutes later, her hair standing almost entirely upright and dark circles forming quickly underneath her eyes.  
>"Looks like someone didn't get their beauty sleep," Spencer taunted, pouring Hanna a large mug of coffee and watching in amusement as the blond drank half of it immediately,<br>"Actually, I only slept for a half hour. If that." She groaned.

Emily entered the kitchen briskly behind her, Arianna in one arm and a basket of laundry in the other.  
>"Good morning gorgeous, just in time." Spencer beamed at Emily, pulling out a stool for her wife, "Sit." Emily shook her head,<p>

"Spence, I have to call my coach, change my schedule, do the laundry, change Arianna's sheets after she spit up on them again, get her dressed, get myself ready and get to the mall to meet with the interior designer that we spoke to about Arianna's second bedroom. Within the next half hour, I don't have time to sit." She said frantically, becoming more and more irate with every word,

"Honey," Spencer laughed, "It's barely eight AM and you're already stressed, now." She strategized, plucking her daughter out of her wifes arms, "You pretty baby, are going to come with Mommy so we can get you dressed and fed, and you, pretty girl, are going to sit and relax for five minutes, okay?" She intructed Emily, gently pushing Emily's shoulders down so she sat.  
>"I'll come help you, Spence." I offered, putting the last bite of my blueberry muffin in my mouth and chewing it as I picked up the abandoned laundry basket.<br>"Great," Spencer grinned, "Auntie Aria's going to come and get you dressed." She notified Arianna, whose big, baby blue eyes were open wide, alert as ever.

* * *

><p>"You want to pick out her clothes?" Spencer asked me, laying Arianna down on her back on the floor as she started stripping the sheets off of the matress in her crib,<br>"Sure," I obliged, opening her closet and starting to sift through the neatly organized racks of clothing. "Shall I dress her?" I asked Spencer, selecting a purple onesie and matching hat from the top drawer,  
>"If you want to," She sighed gratefully, "She needs changing though." She looked dubiously at me and I laughed,<br>"It's okay, Spence, I've changed a diaper before." I assured her, kneeling beside my niece and starting to undress her slowly, "Besides, I'll have my own soon." I murmured, placing my hand on my stomach.  
>I looked up to see Spencer watching me adoringly,<br>"Are you excited?" She asked happily, I nodded,  
>"Nervous." I added. She nodded, empathy clear in her eyes,<br>"Been there." She announced loudly, "But it's all worth it."  
>"God, Spence, she really is tiny." I marveled as I eased off her clothing and lifted her up on to the changing table across the room, "How much did she weigh at birth?"<br>"Six pounds, two ounces." She laughed, "Thirteen and a quarter inches. And that was being five weeks premature." I smiled at Spencer as I began to change my goddaughters diaper.  
>"She's going to be tall," I assured her, "Just like her parents." She smirked,<br>"Taller than her godmother, that's for sure."

* * *

><p>Hanna POV<p>

"So, you got plans today?" Emily asked me as she relaxed at the breakfast bar, I shrugged.  
>"No, not really," I thought aloud, "Aria and I are done with our Spring line, the sketches and prototypes are made and they've been sent of for production, so, for now, we actually have an awful lot of spare time." I grinned whenever I spoke about business, because, truth be told, I loved my job-owning and designing a label with my best friend couldn't really be more idyllic.<p>

"Well, in that case," She began, interrupted by Spencer's buzzing phone. She picked it up and unlocked it, scrolling through her applications to read the new message,  
>"Emily!" I snapped, laughing as she startled out of her daze, "You okay?" She nodded quickly, downing the last of her smoothie and setting the glass down,<br>"Yeah, sure. It's just some stuff for Spence about work," She muttered and I got the distinct impression that she was lying. "Anyway, I was going to say that if you don't have any plans you're more than welcome to hang out with me," I smiled at her and shook my head yes,

"Cool, what are we doing?" I asked excitedly, honestly just happy to be finally spending some time with Emily, she raised her eyebrows,  
>"Nothing particularly exciting, I'm afraid," She sighed, "Grocery shopping mainly," I crinkled my nose, although I didn't really mind, "But, Arianna's with us today..." She informed me slyly, waiting for my reaction. I grinned,<br>"Always a saving grace." I giggled,  
>"Right then, go get dressed." She instructed me, swatting me over the head with Spencer's morning paper as she left.<p>

* * *

><p>Spencer POV<p>

"Hey Aria," I called across the car, "You okay?" I could tell that she was nervous, it seemed to be emanating off of her, she took a deep breath,  
>"I think so," She replied evenly. The atmosphere lapsed into silence once again as I focused on driving and Aria tried to keep calm.<br>"So, I have to ask," I started far more tactfully than Hanna would have,  
>"You guys can ask about the father, you know." She interrupted me, "It's not a taboo subject."<br>"Alright then," I said carefully, "I wasn't going to ask for any details other than, when? I mean, how long ago?" She shrugged,  
>"I'm going to sound stupid if I tell you," She warned and I nodded, "But I knew a while ago, I just didn't want to admit it."<p>

"Alright," I encouraged, easing my Mercedes into a space on the hospital parking lot.  
>"About four months," She admitted sheepishly, I shook my head,<br>"Aria that's not so bad!" I insisted, trying to make her feel better, "Honestly, there are women who have gone an entire pregnancy without noticing-I'm not sure how, but..." She laughed,  
>"I knew. I mean, the last time I got my period was November, so...I knew." Her mouth twisted into a wry smile, "Thank you, for being here." She whispered,<br>"Hey, no problem." I replied sincerely, "Honestly, I remember how scary it was even though we were trying to get pregnant- that didn't stop the whole experience from being totally petrifying. Just stay off the internet, alright? It's full of horror stories." I warned, shuddering a little, "Emily looked up one of my symptoms and convinced herself that Arianna was going to be born with two heads." She laughed loudly and I smiled at my success of taking her mind off of her anxiety.

* * *

><p>We turned the corner out of the hallway into a familiar white room, entering slowly. I watched as Aria took in every detail of her surroundings, eyeing every diagram and reading every warning on the walls. When I was pregnant with Arianna, I'd found the posters of scientific knowledge comforting and interesting- Aria, it appeared, just found them daunting.<p>

I squeezed her hand and smiled reassuringly as the doctor entered the room,  
>"Ah, Spencer- Good to see you again." She greeted, shaking my hand, "No Emily today?" I shook my head,<br>"Not today, no, she's shopping with Arianna." I informed her, she nodded, checking her files,  
>"And you must be Miss. Montgomery?" She asked, extending her hand to Aria.<br>"Yes, Aria." She smiled,  
>"Pleasure to meet you," The doctor smiled, "Well, if you want to hop up on the table, we can get started." With a worried look at me, Aria did as the doctor said, perching on the edge of the table and swinging her legs awkwardly, "So, how do you two know each other?" The doctor inquired as she rummaged around in a cupboard with some equipment, we both laughed, looking at each other fondly.<p>

"We've been best friends since we were thirteen," I laughed, Aria nodded, finally relaxing.  
>"Yeah, we go way back." She agreed.<br>"It's nice to see that you're still close." The doctor interjected, looking around the room. "Now, I think we're ready."

* * *

><p>"See, it's not so bad, huh?" I joked, nudging Aria playful as she sauntered along, happily staring at the sonogram picture that was clutched in her hands.<br>"Not at all." She murmured distantly. I looped my arm through hers and fell into step beside her, guiding her carefully along so she didn't collide with anyone.  
>"I wonder if it's a boy or a girl," I prompted, "Do you think you want to find out?" She hummed in thought,<br>"No, I don't think I do...but I might change my mind." She smiled, "I don't really mind, but I'd love a little girl." I grinned smugly,

"It is pretty amazing." I mused, fixing my gaze on the picture of Aria's baby, "Ooh, if it's a girl then they can be best friends!" Aria squealed with excitement,  
>"And if it's a boy then they can fall in love..." She said in a dreamy voice. I giggled, placing my hand on her stomach,<br>"Hear that baby? Be born a girl, or Mommy's planning an arranged marriage." I quipped. She scolded me with the back of her hand and laughed again.

"Emily?" Aria called down the busy corridor, sounding surprised, "Emily!" We picked up our pace, weaving in and out of the crowd until we were face to face with my wife, my daughter clutched in her arms.  
>"Hey beautiful, what are you doing here?" I asked her endearingly, reaching out to Arianna and letting her wrap her tiny fingers around one of mine. My heart skipped a beat as I caught her eyes and watched her face crumple. "Em?" I asked softly, cupping her face in one hand and using my thumb to wipe her tears away.<p>

I glanced quickly at Aria who'd latched her hand onto Emily's free one,  
>"It's-It's..." Emily choked out in three sobs before collapsing into my arms, "It's Hanna."<p>

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><p>AN Your opinions please?

I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible,

Review if you hate A as much as I do ;)

~LaughLoveLiveXx


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys, so, I bet you're wondering what happened to Hanna?

Enjoy :)

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><p>Emily POV<p>

"Hanna!" Aria practically screamed, running over the threshold of the room and clutching Hanna's face in her hands, I didn't need to see her face to know that she'd started to cry. Hanna closed her eyes pensively as she pulled Aria down to her, pressing her head against her chest and stroking her hair. Spencer and I stood back, allowing them to finish the interaction that they both desperately needed,

"Shh," Hanna soothed, so quietly that we could tell it was only intended for Aria's ears, she pulled the brunette up and cupped her face in her hands, "See? I'm okay!" She smiled, wiping away Aria's stray tears, "I'm okay."

Aria POV

"What happened, Han? Didn't you...?" I asked Hanna quietly, though not quietly enough. Spencer leaned forward her expression softer now,

"Didn't you what?" Spencer whispered, "Han, are you okay?" I nodded quickly, furious with myself for speaking so loudly.  
>"She's fine," I babbled immediately, trying to move the conversation along. Hanna shook her head, looking up at me for the first time since she'd sat down,<br>"No secrets, right?" She asked me meekly. I nodded in wary agreement.

"Wait, do you need to?" I asked Hanna, reaching into my purse and pulling out a small bottle of prescription pills; the statement was cryptic enough that Spencer and Emily wouldn't understand, but not so much that they wouldn't notice. She shook her head slowly,  
>"I did."<p>

"When we left high school," She whispered, so quietly that both Spencer and Emily had to move next to us to hear, "And started college, we all fell out of touch for a little bit. After the first semester, when the work got too heavy for us to drive down and visit each other, we started talking on the phone more, and that was great, but after a couple of weeks we lost time for even that. I'd moved away, my mom got sick of me and dad, well, dad had Kate. Caleb didn't trust me anymore. I had no-one. When I lost you guys, I lost interest in everything. I still went to classes, and I tried, but the only thing that got me through the SAT's was late night studying with Spencer- I tried and I just couldn't do it. In the end, I didn't care- about anything. One night, when I was walking back to my dorm room...I saw someone. In a black hood, driving a black SUV across the parking lot. It stung. And that was the first night that I tried. I took ten pills, washed them down with a shot of tequila...and when it didn't work? I got angry. I stopped going out, going anywhere, doing anything. I didn't try again because I knew that I was so useless I couldn't even kill myself successfully. The panic attacks had been going on since high school but had worsened, and...and I..." She trailed off, not making eye contact with anyone, never moving her gaze from where Arianna lay in her lap. "I kept seeing her. Alison. She was always there. She kept telling me to do things. God, I regret that the most." She paused, a long, thick silence filling the room as Spencer and Emily looked at each other, overwhelmed.

"No-one cared though." She murmured bitterly, "No-one cared enough to notice when I stopped showing up to class. No-one got worried when the papers outside my door just kept piling up and up. No-one bothered that my cell phone just went straight to voice mail, if they even called that is. Except for Aria." She smiled at me and I felt my heart melt, "She came down for my birthday, we've never spent a birthday apart before- so she surprised me. I'd stopped going out in January, and it took until March for anyone to notice." She took a calming breath. "But she did. She got me help, diagnosed with depression and on medication...and we moved back to Rosewood together." She finished, finally looking up into the stunned silence of the room. "If it wasn't for her, I'd probably be dead."

"Oh my," Emily whispered, looking at me for reassurance, "Hanna..." The blond shook her head,  
>"I'm fine now, honestly," She assured her, trying to smile brightly, "So long as I take my medication...I'm alright." Spencer smiled wryly.<br>"God, I am so sorry..." She murmured. "Why the heck didn't I call?" She berated herself, rolling off the bed and pacing the room. "You're supposed to be my best friend, and I didn't hear from you for months and didn't worry?" She exclaimed. "God."

"Spence, it's fine." She pleaded, "So long as I get enough sleep, keep in company, eat well, exercise, live healthily and take daily medication- I'm fine." Spencer stopped pacing and turned to look at her incredulously,

"Fine? You think that's fine?" Spencer screamed, making startling Arianna and making her cry, "This shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have let it!" I looked worriedly at Emily who just shrugged and began to rock her daughter,  
>"She just needs a minute to come to terms with everything," She sighed, " You know Spencer, she likes to believe that everything's her responsibility, and when something bad happens...then she thinks it's her fault."<p>

Hanna shifted uncomfortably,  
>"Should I go talk to her?" She offered, staring at the door that Spencer had just walked through, Emily shook her head sadly,<br>"No, it's alright. I'm going to go and give her Arianna though, she's hungry and feeding her will give Spencer time to collect herself." She excused herself, making for the door quickly.

"I'm so sorry Hanna..." I begged, knowing that I'd well and truly put my foot in it, she shrugged.  
>"It's okay, if I hadn't told them today, A would have done." She bit,<br>"Still," I protested, "I'm sorry. Really, I am. I should have been more...subtle." She laughed,  
>"It's alright, discretion's never been my thing anyway." She clutched my hand in hers, "I meant it though. Without you..." She confessed, "I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be me." I felt a lump rise in my throat as I grasped her hand tighter,<br>"Well, you are here. And you're you." I caressed the side of her face gently, "And thank God for that, because I love you." I assured her, pulling her close to me and holding her protectively.

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><p>Emily POV<p>

"Hey you," I whispered, walking up to my wife and wrapping an arm around her waist. She didn't move, or even look at me but remained rigid, her eyes trained on her shoes and her expression dead set against the immanent tears in her eyes.

I knew better by now than to talk to her, knowing that Spencer needed to take a few minutes to sort through everything that was floating around inside her mind. Raising my head from where it was resting on Spencer's shoulder, I pressed my lips to her temple and let them rest there as I felt her begin to relax into me.

"I need to talk to her." She whispered, finally looking sideways at me, I nodded and smiled,  
>"We'll give you a minute alone." I assured her. She pecked my lips gently as I turned and walked away.<p>

"Aria?" I called into the room," She looked up smiling at me, "I'm going to go and grab some coffee, do you want to come with me?" She got the hint immediately and stood, kissing Hanna lightly on the forehead and squeezing her hand, promising to be back soon.

Spencer POV

I watched Emily and Aria walk in the opposite direction and inhaled deeply, fighting the flood of tears that I knew where coming. I just couldn't shake the thoughts of what could have happened, if it wasn't for Aria. Hanna and I had never been...affectionate, when it came to each other, but the thought of losing her and her not knowing just how much she meant to me was almost too much to bear.

I leaned against the wall for support, breathing deeply in and out as I wiped away the tears that were already spilling over. I was shaking now, but I knew I had to pull it together, for Hanna's sake. I was the strong one, and if I couldn't control myself, that didn't leave much hope for anyone else.

"Hey," Hanna grinned as I walked into her hospital room, her blond hair scattered everywhere, but her eyes as bright as ever. "Hey, Spencer Hastings you are not crying!" She shook her head, her eyes wide with concern, I wiped my eyes and tried to laugh, but it just made more tears fall. "Look at me! I'm fine!" She laughed, trying ineffectively to relieve the tension in the room,  
>"That's not what you said just now." I whispered, my voice cracking horribly as I did.<p>

"Oh Spence," Hanna crooned sympathetically, patting the side of the bed beside her. I walked slowly over to her and perched next to her,  
>"Why didn't you call? I could have helped!" I sobbed, allowing the walls I put up as a tough exterior to come crashing down,<br>"Spencer, I wasn't me then, honey, you have to know that." She explained softly, "I wasn't how I should be, and I'm sorry for that." I swallowed hard against my tears, allowing Hanna to wipe away the ones that still stained my cheeks.

"You suck for not telling me," I tried to laugh, "But I'm always here." I paused to collect my thoughts again, only to bring fresh tears to my eyes, "What are we going to do, Han? A's back. This. How are we going to get through this?" I felt my bottom lip tremble slightly and I rolled my eyes up to try and stop myself from crying, too many tears had already been shed today.

"I don't know," She shook her head, smiling a little. "We just will." I squeezed her hand hard with all the built up animosity toward A,  
>"You're damn right we will."<p>

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><p>"Wait, so you're telling me that she hasn't taken her medication?" I overheard Aria asking the doctor, "In how long?" The doctor pointed to the stack of paper in his hands, moving his finger across it and explaining each detail as he did, "No, that's not possible." Aria argued in hushed tones, "I give her it on a daily basis." She sighed, looking around the room exasperatedly,<p>

"Why? Because it can be addictive! Geez, you're supposed to be the doctor." She screamed in frustration. Marching across the room, she grabbed her purse and emptied out it's contents on the foot of the bed. As soon as it fell, she snatched the tiny bottle and thrust it at the doctor.

"See?" She asked incredulously, "We got the bottle last week, she takes two pills twice a day, morning and night every day. Additionally, she takes single pills in times of stress, but no more than a total of six in a day. If she supposedly hasn't been taking them, how do you explain the half empty bottle?" He shook his head slowly,

"There are no traces of any lithium substance, which is what these are, in her blood." He assured us. He drummed his fingers on the metal frame of Hanna's bed for what seemed like hours before looking up in a wave of inspiration.

"Maybe the pills were switched," He murmured to himself, I caught Emily's eye, relieved to see the same look of abject horror in my wife's gaze as in my own, "By mistake, in the pharmacy." He added quickly, gathering his things and making for the door, "I'm sure no-one would want to hurt a pretty girl like you."

We all nodded in agreement, faking laughter at the, apparently ridiculous, notion of someone wanting to hurt Hanna. Only when he was out of the door and down the hall did we dare to chance a look at each other,

"A." Emily muttered viciously in unison with Aria. I darted to the door and looked both ways down the hall before closing it quietly,  
>"I know A's seemingly omnipresent anyway, but lets not make it way too easy." I explained as I sat back down,<br>"Omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient..." Aria muttered dryly, scowling at the door.  
>"Yeah, well A's going to be 'omni'-dead if I have anything to do with it." Hanna snarled.<p>

"A's obviously running out of ideas." Emily stated, she cocked her head to one side when I looked at her questioningly, "They're doing the same thing- in high school A took the medication that I was using and made it something different without me noticing to hurt me. Sound familiar?" She smiled, her voice dripping with cheery sarcasm.

"Em, that's-" I started, interrupted by the chilling sound of first my ringtone, then Emily's and Aria's.

**Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?  
>A locked door won't keep me out;<br>You're going to have to try a little harder if you want to protect your baby, Spence.  
>-A<strong>

I reread the message twice before I muttered it out loud,  
>"You okay, babe?" Emily asked gently, placing her hand on my shoulder. I took a deep breath, inhaling strength as I did.<br>"Never better," I assured her, "I'm not going to let A manipulate me."Emily smiled proudly, switching the arm she was holding Arianna with and using the hand that she freed to open her messages.

**That's right, killer. Hold her close...  
>While you still can.<br>BTW, She's grown so much, and the way her eyes sparkle...just precious!  
><strong>**-A**

"If she thinks-" Emily snarled, holding Arianna even tighter to her and hurling her cell phone at the opposite wall, only narrowly avoiding Aria's head with the object,

"Hush..." Hanna soothed, touching Emily's arm lightly, "It's okay, we're not going to let her." The blond cupped Arianna's head affectionately with her other hand, "It's okay."

But it wasn't okay. A was back and not only threatening us, but my baby daughter. Not even a week old and already in danger. Aria reached over and took my hand, in much the same way as Hanna had taken Emily's. She nodded at me, knowing that she didn't need to speak. None of us did...not really.

Aria POV

**Poor Hanna didn't get a message.  
>But you can tell her 'hi' from me,<br>I know how close you two really are.  
>-A<strong>

I snorted with mirth as I read A's latest text,sure, A was good at the whole second-guessing-everything-we-did thing, but sometimes, they really got their wires crossed. Like now, for instance, with their newest find of, well, whatever evidence they thought that they'd found on Hanna and I. Not that there was anything to find any evidence of. I passed my cell to Spencer, who smirked in amusement at the message before reading it out loud to Emily and Hanna.

"Damn it," Hanna cursed sarcastically, her gestures hugely over the top and the emotion in her voice entirely fake, "They know about us! Oh what are we going to do?" She sobbed theatrically. Spencer and I laughed loudly, and even Emily cracked a smile at our best friend's foolishness.

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><p>"Alrighty then," Spencer murmured as she reached across the back seat of her car to unstrap her daughter from her seat, "Let's get you inside and to bed, little lady." She scooped her up and held her over her shoulder, allowing Arianna to look around their front yard. Her eyes roamed avidly around, finally landing on me. She reached out a tiny hand over Spencer's shoulder and clumsily touched my face, her minuscule fingers tickling my cheeks.<p>

"Do you want to go to Auntie Aria?" Spencer asked her as her other hand joined the first and she almost toppled over her mother's shoulder. Her second hand tapped my face as well and Spencer sighed, "I'll take that as a yes." She mumbled, turning around and passing her to me before pulling a couple of bags out of the trunk.

"God, she's perceptive." I exclaimed, "Four days old and she already has you wrapped around her little finger." Spencer smiled adoringly at her, kissing her head as she slammed the trunk shut.  
>"Well, she is my daughter, she was always going to be brilliant." She winked with an attempt at modesty and I chuckled,<br>"That she most certainly is." I whispered fondly to the baby in my arms, Spencer smirked.  
>"Looks like she's got you 'wrapped around her little finger', too." She challenged.<p>

"Spence, she needs a bath, the water's running." Emily informed me as she wandered past, kissing me briefly on the cheek, "But, as I missed practice today, I was going to go and try to swim a few laps outside." Spencer nodded,  
>"God, I hadn't really realized how late it was." She shook her head, her brow furrowed, "I guess it makes sense though, I mean, Aria's appointment was about forty-five minutes long, and then we ran into you guys..." She fathomed, "It makes sense. How late is it?" She murmured, checking her watch.<br>"Six forty-five." Emily answered quickly, Spencer nodded thoughtfully.

"Well, we haven't eaten since three, so, you swim, I'll bathe her and put her to bed and then I'll cook?" She offered, Emily smiled as her wife prepared a strategy for the evening,  
>"I knew I married you for a reason." She grinned, catching Spencer's lips in a quick kiss.<p>

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><p>"You like the water, don't you?" Spencer giggled affectionately as she watched Arianna splash around in her tiny, plastic tub.<br>"She's like her mama," I interjected, sitting crossed legged in the lotus position by her. Watching as Spencer and her daughter bonded in a way that only mother and daughter can, Spencer giggled, cupping some of the warm water in one hand and letting it trickle over her.  
>"She sure is," She paused, noticing her baby shiver slightly, "She's so tiny, she can't be in the water for very long at all." She explained, looking around the bathroom in search of a towel. "Crap, I must have forgotten to get one. Hey, could you run to her nursery and grab one of her towels out of her closet?" I smiled at her briefly before heading out of the room and down the hall as quickly as possible.<p>

Reaching her nursery I stopped dead at the sight before me. Nailed to the door was Arianna's favorite stuffed dolphin, the one that I'd seen her sleeping with just the night before. My blood ran cold and I shivered in unison with the vibrations emanating from my cell phone. With shaking hands I reached into the back pocket of my jeans, never taking my gaze off of the maimed creature on the door.

**Lucky Aria, she gets a second text!  
><strong>**And now, she has a choice.  
><strong>**Keep switching Hanna's meds, or...lets just say that next time, it won't be the toy that's crucified.  
>Got it?<br>Kisses!  
>xoxo- A<strong>

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><p>AN So what do we think?

Thing have changed somewhat for the liars, huh?  
>Review please!<p>

~LaughLoveLiveXx


	6. Chapter 6

So, if I remember rightly, Aria was faced with quite the predicament, right?

Swap her best friends meds for a placebo, or put her goddaughters life in the hands of A...

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><p>Aria POV<p>

_I turn on the faucet, letting the water flow out into the drain and I watch it as it falls quickly and then disappears forever. When I look back up, I find my own eyes dripping much like the tap that I just turned on, and wipe away the few that have trailed down my cheeks._

_I glance at the bathroom cabinet and a whole new wave of guilt rushes over me. A had won. I'd done what A had asked and, in doing so, I'd killed my best friend. I'd taken her from everyone she ever loved, and everyone who loved her._

_I ran my hands under the water, slowly, hoping to delay the inevitable. But eventually, I turned the faucet off, leaving my world doused in the thick silence that settled the moment that she disappeared._

_"Aria?"_

_I took a deep breath and smoothed down the front of my dress, before turning to the door and opening it slowly as the soft footsteps outside stop. Spencer wrapped her arm supportively around my shoulder and gently guided me to her car. I slipped in to the backseat without a word. I knew that, if I so much as dared to look around me, I wouldn't be able to control my emotions. With that in mind, I fixed my sight on my shoes. Black strappy sandals, the peep-toe kind with a criss-cross design at the front, a tiny gem fixing the straps together at the base of the tiny heel. Normally, my shoes would have been much, much higher- to match Spencer and Emily's height- but today, I could barely stand barefoot._

_I contemplated my shoes once again, what with them being the only safe place to look, and almost threw up as I realized where I got them. They were hers._

_Suddenly feeling angry, I stared out of the window defiantly. I wouldn't cry. Not now. Not here. This was, supposedly, the easier part of the day ahead, but as a thousand memories raced past my eyes at 40 miles an hour, it certainly didn't feel like it was. Places that I didn't even realize held so much significance now provoked a rush of recollection._

_Lucky Leon's flashed by the window, and I bore witness to my younger self in the company of my best friend- defending her from the snide comments of the Lacrosse jerks, looking after her and consoling her. The AppleRose Grille, where we'd spent so many afternoons and evenings together- the night of Ali's funeral we'd come here, and that was where we'd reconnected. Rosewood High School. Coffea. Rive Gauche. And, finally, the church._

_The notorious church of Rosewood held many memories for us. It was where we lay Alison to rest, where Spencer had almost been murdered and we'd seen Ian Thomas' dead body hanging in the air. And now, it was where I would say goodbye to Hanna. But it still wasn't the worst place._

_The worst place was home. Because, really, it wasn't home anymore. No matter how many of my things I kept there, or how I decorated each room-it was only a house. She was my home. And now she was gone. I was alone, wondering aimlessly through the walk of life, unguided, blind...homeless._

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><p><em>My dark sunglasses hid the red rims of my eyes, and, thankfully, most of the scenery. 'What a beautiful day' people whispered around me, 'She'd have loved it.'<em>  
><em>She wouldn't. They all assumed that vast rays of sun meant that she would have enjoyed today- but she wouldn't. In actual fact, had she been here she would have complained about sunscreen making her pale, the sun making heer sweat and, most probably, arguing with Spencer over something or other. But they didn't know that, because they didn't know her. No-one knew her like I did.<em>

_It's only as everybody begins to walk away that it all becomes real. The voices, the footsteps, the gentle breeze. I hadn't felt anything in weeks, and now it was all sinking in. The voices were there. The footsteps were real. The breeze carried softly through the air was as true as my heartache. They were all there. But she wasn't. And that's when the pain began. I wasn't ready to admit that it was real, and somehow, seeing it with my own eyes confirmed that it was._

_The instant my eyes fall on the white casket, covered in condolences, my hand goes to my mouth, covering it to keep the sobs hidden inside. But nothing is going to stop them… not now… not after this. Not when I've seen it. Now it's real. Now I know that my beautiful best friend is resting in that box…where she will rest for the remaining years of my life._

_I wanted to cry. I wished for the tears to rise in my eyes and cloud my vision, to take away the sight and somehow, to let me unsee the repercussions of my mistake. But I couldn't. I wondered if it was possible to cry yourself dry. If it were possible for you to reach a stage in your grief that there were just no tears left in your entire being. It sure felt that way._

_"I loved you. I will always love you, you were my world! And I'm sorry you went thorugh what you went through, I'm sorry I put you through that! I never meant for anything bad to happen to you. I didn't mean to hurt you! I promise. I promise! I lied to you." I stuttered and stumbled over sobs of regret._

_"And you lied to me. Why didn't you tell me? Why couldn't you talk to me about it? I would have held you, told you everything would be OK. 'Shh, there's no need to cry, baby!' I'll dry your tears. I'll stroke your hair until you fall asleep, the way I used to. And I promise you, I will never let anyone hurt you again. Hurt your memory, I mean._

_"No! No. I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. I hurt you in ways I can't imagine. Do you know how much it hurts me to say that, to think that? And I could not help you. I was stuck. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't soothe your pain, I couldn't stop those tears from falling down your perfect face. And i'm thinking of the times we'd talk, right into the early hours. All I want to do is hug you, and stop you hurting. But you're gone. Gone._

_"I should have told you! I let you wallow in your own misery for days. Days! How could I not notice? Days of not sleeping, not eating, not talking, not breathing easy. That was you, then. This is me, now. "And I am so sorry. I never meant for anything bad to happen to you. I love you, and I wish you were here with me now. I wish I could take all of your pain away. "Are you an angel now? You'd make a perfect angel. The world wasn't good enough for you. It drove you out. You drove you out. "You looked like an angel. That perfect blonde haired angel. Blonde curls. I always thought it looked like angel-hair._

_"There's nobody hurting you. And I'm coming. I promise. I won't be long."_

_There was a crunch of grass behind me as someone stepped nearer. Just from the footsteps I could tell it was Emily. I turned slowly towards her, never once taking my eyes away from where our best friend lay. She respectfully kept quiet and I realized that she hadn't come back for me, she'd come for Hanna._

_She sank down into the grass beside me, closely followed by Spencer a few minutes later. I wasn't surprised. I wanted to be angry, but I couldn't blame them for coming. I knew I needed them, as much as they needed me._

_"Can I hold her?" I asked numbly, sounding robotic and devoid of emotion. Emily shifted beside me and gently transfered her sleeping baby girl to my arms, where she rested snugly. I tried to find a smile, but there just wasn't a pigment of happiness to be found within me. Not today, on the day of my best friends funeral._

_"You'll never know her." I whispered sadly to Arianna, "You'll never know her and it's all my fault." I sobbed, my tears falling thick and fast, splattering across her delicate face as my body shook all over. "I took her from you!" I screamed, inconsolable now. Emily and Spencer both move to hold me tightly. It should feel wrong to take comfort in their touch- like, by falling into the two of them, I was replacing Hanna- but it didn't. Perhaps, because, in so many ways, they were a big part of her. We all were- and Alison, too. It felt only right that we should be together._

_It had always been the four of us, in life, and now, in death._

A/N I know this was a short chapter, but it was, however, necessary.

Anyone confused?

Next update will explain everything, I promise- and it will be up relatively soon I hope :)

Thoughts?

~LaughLoveLiveXx


	7. Chapter 7

So, chapter seven is finally making an appearance. After giving me a constant migraine for the past two weeks. Seriously, it's been hell to write this one.

Reviews are very much welcomed!

Enjoy.

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><p><em>Aria POV<em>

_You pound on the door for five full minutes, becoming more frantic as your attempts become more futile. In despair, you glance around the empty hall and spy a glass light attached to the wall, just to the right of the door. Standing on tiptoe, you grope blindly on top of it, wishing that you we're just a few inches taller._

_In a moment of triumph, you grasp the small, metal key-it's hot from the light and it burns your hand, and you can't help but laugh at the image of your best friend doing the exact same thing time after time, because only she would keep her hide-a-key on the top of a burning light. Almost dropping it, due to the heat, you push it shakily into the lock._

_And you're simultaneously scared to death, and genuinely glad that you came._

_You're forced to slip into the room through eight inch gap that you can create between the door and the wall, you barely fit, but you only see why when you poke your head around the edge of the door._  
><em>And it's junk. Trash. Garbage. Empty pizza boxes and smashed bottles, their pieces surrounded by the sticky remains of the alcohol that they once contained. Filthy clothes filled the floor, and reeked with the scent of alcohol and stale vomit.<em>  
><em>Among all the chaos. There's Hanna. Her, once beautiful blond hair, is sticking up at all angles from where her body is sprawled within the sea of lost hope.<em>

_"Han?" You call out as you wade through the crap in her room. The student room wasn't big, but it wasn't small enough to excuse the ankle deep waste land it had become. After seeing her hand move at the sound of your voice, your worst fears had ceased to exist, filling your body with a mixture of relief and worry._

_"Hanna?" Your voice has the sing-songy ring to it that always made her giggle, back when the two of you were kids, but her laughter seems so far away now._

_"Fuck off." She grumbles, reaching out a limp hand for a bottle of something that had spilled next to her. "Whatever it is, just leave it at the fucking door."_

_"I don't have anything to leave, Hannakins." You inform her clearly, hoping that she'll recognize your voice now. For some reason that cannot be explained, you have an undying hope that, upon hearing your voice, she'll open those bright blue eyes of hers, lock them on your own, and grin. Pulling you into a tight hug and saying that she misses you and that she never wants the two of you to be apart again._

_But you know that it's not that simple. Not anymore._

_"Who are you? And how the fuck did you get in here?" So, she didn't know you. After all those years, and everything that the two of you have been through, together, she doesn't even recognize your voice._  
><em>"I'm-" you stammer, uncertainly, feeling slightly indignant as to having to identify yourself to the girl who, you thought, knew you better than anybody else. "I'm...I'm What's going to help you."<em>

_She weakened, eventually, as she allowed you to pull her from the floor, wrap her shaking body in a blanket and guide her, carefully, from the room. At this point, you didn't care who was watching, or what they thought, because you knew that neither of you would ever return there after this. Hanna's things could be fetched at a later date, if she had anything worth getting anymore. But she needed to leave._

_Recovery 101- Remove the patient from the environment in which they became sick._  
><em>You considered, at first, getting into a cab and going straight to the nearest rehab center- they'd help her, you told yourself, they dealt with cases like hers everyday. But they didn't deal with her. No-one dealt with her like you did...and That was how you knew, that, if she was going to heal, it would be with you nursing her all the way.<em>

* * *

><p>Someone once told me, that every life is a story. Every person that we meet, is a new chapter, every smile we adorn and every tear we shed, is a page, and every breath that we take a letter. Pages, words, letters...all Tiny pieces, shards of a much larger story, that record the moments that help to shape who we really are.<p>

It is in these moments, when everything is hanging in the balance, and we are faced with critical decisions, which question our very morality, that we learn what we are truly made of. Our strengths and our weaknesses, our flaws and idiosyncrasies- are all labeled in those moments. In the final seconds of a game, the remaining feet in a race, or the terminal beats of a heart.

"Holy crap." I murmured, shaking my head to try to rid my mind of the memories that had been plaguing my conscience all night, since I'd altered my best friends meds for a placebo, while she slept. A shudder ran through my spine at how messed up that was- that, after everything we'd fought through together, I'd stabbed her in the back. Metaphorically, of course. But I knew, deep down, that she'd have done the same thing, in my position- protected our goddaughter, at all costs.

"Aria?" A voice called out from the hallway, the footsteps of it's owner coming to a halt at the open door of my bedroom.  
>"I'll be there in a second!" I called out from the white-washed bathroom that sat between the rooms of myself, and my best friend. Hastily, I stuffed what I'd been holding into the cabinet above the sink and slammed it shut.<br>Spencer pushed the door open behind me and gasped as she surveyed the scene through tired eyes. I knew that this was taking it's toll on her, as much as anyone, though she'd never admit that. Never.

Spencer POV

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" I asked Aria calmly as the two of us sat down on her white leather couch, coffee in hand. "I mean, you dropped a bottle of pills, and they scattered everywhere, that's no big deal. But, the look on your face, said otherwise." She nodded meekly and. Clutched at a decorative throw pillow that had been laying between us.  
>And she told me everything. From the pills, to the texts and the dream that had scared her into replacing the pills with the real drugs.<p>

_"God, you're beautiful." I whispered through smiles and happy tears as I held my newborn baby girl in my arms. "Beautiful, and here. I can't believe that you're here. And you'll always be with me now. Always and forever, baby girl. You're mine. And I got you."_

My daughter meant the world to me. Above everything else, even above Emily, I valued her life- as I knew Emily did, also. She was ours, mine, to love and to protect.  
>As Aria had done.<p>

"Thank you." I whispered to Aria as I pulled her close to me, laying her head in my lap- sensing that she was in dire need of human comfort. After all, she'd been struggling with this for days, alone. "Really, I mean, I can't lie and say it's okay that you hurt Hanna, but I get it..." I comforted, thinking aloud, "I think, I know, I would have done the same if the situation were reversed. I mean, I'd have to- it's my job. Our job- as her family, to protect her. Her and this little cutie." I grinned, rubbing my hand across the shorter girls stomach, amazed at how much she was starting to show.

"Speaking of," she smiled, shifting her head off of my lap and sitting up, pulling my hand onto her slight bump, "You can feel her!" I laughed as she pressed my fingers hard into her skin, where a solid, sort of, lump was prominent.  
>"Wow..." I whispered, "It's exciting, right?" She grinned and shook her head yes,<br>"I think Hanna may be even more excited than I am." She laughed, eyeing my mischievously, "Are you and Emily planning on having another?"

I grinned, turning my face away and shaking my head in amusement,  
>"Not for the time being," I giggled nervously, "But, at some point, I think so. Emily hated being an only child, and, as much as I loathed her sometimes, growing up without Melissa would have been exceedingly dull."<p>

Aria nodded understandingly,  
>"Yeah, I totally get that. I barely speak to him anymore, but when Mike and I were kids, we were pretty tight." She smiled wryly, "Though I would have traded him for a sister in a heartbeat, most of the time."<br>"Trust me, they're overrated." I sighed, "You're better with your friends. You and Hanna have a good thing going here."

There had been times, in the past, when I'd contemplated whether or not Aria and Hanna had the potential to be more than friends. I'd thought about it, truthfully, ever since I'd started dating Emily, wondering how they could have shared the same bond, as I did with my wife, for so many years, and never have developed it further than friendship.

Until I realized. They were more than friends, already. They were sisters. Not by blood, but by heart, and soul. They were everything to each other, and that was comforting, especially in times like these.

"So, are you moving out or anything once you have the baby?" I asked casually, as I took a sip of my coffee, which had started to go cold.  
>"Yeah right," She snorted, "Like Han's going to let this kid out of her sight, let alone our house." She nodded thoughtfully, "Nope, I'm staying put. There's going to be so much to do, and it's going to be so hard to do it alone, I'm going to need all the help I can get. Besides, expecting Hanna to live, healthily, alone is a little too much."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Emily POV<em>

_Till death do us part.' Spencer whispered softly, her eyes brimming with tears- but her perfect, white teeth on full display in her trademark, broad grin. She slipped her hands into mine and squeezed them, passing her anticipation for the rest of her life, through the gesture, into my body, like an electric current in a circuit._  
><em>Finally breaking her eye contact, since the first time we'd met at the alter, I scanned my surroundings and sort out our maid's of honor, each of whom, were stood directly behind either myself or my soon to be wife.<em>  
><em>Wife. I grinned at how good that sounded. How, after all these years, of friendship and lies, death and love...she would be mine. Officially. Forever.<em>  
><em>I turned to Hanna, as Spencer simultaneously did to Aria, and passed her my bouquet gently. She touched my hand meaningly as we traded the flowers over, and I nodded sentimentally at her. She spent a moment fluffing my dress, ensuring that there was not a sequin out of place, looking over my whole appearance one last time before giving me the nod of approval.<em>  
><em>Aria wiped a tear from her cheek as she arranged Spencer's long, curly dark hair in a meticulous cascade down her back, meeting her black dress in a perfect compliment of color.<em>  
><em>It was in that moment, as I took in the entire scene- that I realized what a true miracle it was. After all we'd been through- here we were, with our best friends, and our family...and Each other. I knew then, with more certainty than I had ever known, that no matter what happened, we'd be together forever.<em>

I played the memory through again and again in my head on a loop. It was clear as if it were yesterday, the day that I married Spencer. Twisting my wedding ring around on my finger, I suddenly felt angry. Pissed at A for ruining it all for me. My marriage, my friendships, my fairy-tale life...that A was slowly ripping apart- piece by piece, until it was too jumbled to put back together; at least, not the way it was before.

"Hey baby," Spencer grinned as she slipped behind me, wrapping her legs around my waist covertly whilst I daydreamed. "What are you thinking about?"  
>"Our wedding," I smiled, leaning into her body and letting her hold me. I needed that, we needed that- a moment.<br>"Ah," She grins, "Not a bad day, huh?" I giggled, in actual fact, the whole day had been perfect; from the second that I laid eyes on Spencer, as her father escorted her down the opposite side of the congregation to where I walked with mine, I knew that, for the rest of my life, I'd be happy.

"Where did you go?" I asked her, suddenly recalling waking up to an empty bed,  
>"Aria and Hanna's." She murmured. I detected the note of concern in her voice as she responded and swivelled around to face her in her lap.<p>

"Things really aren't good, Em." She confessed after a long silence, "It's worse than last time." I shook my head and rubbed her lower back rhythmically,  
>"It can't be worse, Spence," I soothed,<br>"But it is! Last time all we had against us was boyfriends and colleges! This is real life, Emily. Real life, real problems." She screamed, pushing me away from her as she jumped off the bed, her hands gesturing wildly around her as her tirade continued,

"We're parents now! And Aria's going to be...we have this whole new realm of responsibility. And A's back! Worse!" I waited calmly, a little taken aback by Spencer's actions, but, by now, used to her methods of dealing with frustration

"Yes, A's back," I agreed, my air of serenity apparently reaching my wife as I gently dragged her back to our bed, "And it's bad, I have to admit that. But we got through it before, and we'll do it again, Spence. We have each other, okay?" I grinned, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

"A threatened Aria." She inculcated me, lifting her face to mine,  
>"What?" I asked her, shock penetrating my determinedly gentle tone.<br>"Yeah," She laughed, incredulously, wiping a tear from her face, "A gave her a real catch-22, I can't tell you what it was about though, Em," She apologized, "I promised her."

"It's okay," I smiled, tapping my hands on my lap, motioning for her to sit there, "I'm sure my amazing wife sorted it out," I smiled into her hair as she rested her head on my shoulder, her long, skinny legs stretched across my knees. "She's good at that sort of thing, you know." She laughed a little bit, but I could still feel her tears falling thick and fast against my neck.

* * *

><p>Hanna POV<p>

"Alrighty," I sang as I pulled out the copy of 'What To Expect When You're Expecting' that Spencer had given us upon learning of Aria's pregnancy.

"Month four. Let's see, ah, here we go..." I murmured, flipping to the right page and beginning to read aloud. "We have continued morning sickness, more cravings, random aversions to certain foods, heightened senses and hot flushes...so, a whole bunch of charming things there. Oh Aria! She has fingers and toes already! And her teeth are developing!" I exclaimed to Aria, who was bent double over the freezer, scrubbing furiously at the plastic shelves to remove a stench that was only apparent to her.

"Great." She replied through gritted teeth, glaring at the boxes of frozen food that were scattered all over our kitchen floor.  
>"The morning sickness is supposed to stop at month five." I informed her through a mouthful of strawberry ice cream, that had started to melt subsequent to it's eviction from the freezer. We had an abundance of this flavor, as, only two weeks ago, it had been the only thing that she could stomach, before promptly throwing up what seemed to be the entire tub she'd just consumed, last night and informing me that she'd never eat it again as long as she lived.<p>

Which wouldn't be very long now, seeing as I was going to kill her if she kept this up for much longer.

"Just fabulous." She sighed, flopping down on a stool with a jar of peanut butter and a bottle of chocolate sauce.  
>"Boy, you sure can tell you're pregnant." I muttered, watching as she mixed the two together and smeared it across a slice of leftover pizza from the night before. "You're starting to eat even weirder than you dress, Ar." She scowled at me and I quickly closed my mouth, refraining from saying anything else, not finding the idea of dealing with the wrath of a pregnant woman very appealing.<p>

"What else does the book say about month five?" She inquired, peering at it from the other side of the table, and attempting to read it upside down, whilst cramming her latest food concoction into her mouth.

"Up for grabs in month five," I announced, adopting the booming voice of a game show host, "Frequent urination, nausea, tender and/or swollen breasts, fatigue, changes in skin and hair, dizziness, bleeding gum, heartburn, excess mucus and saliva, headaches, mild shortness of breath and increase in normal vaginal discharge." I screwed up my nose in disgust, "Ew, being pregnant sounds like fun."

She dropped her food onto the counter top and took a sharp intake of breath, the sound of which lingers on the air, clutching her stomach as she did. My blood ran cold, as I immediately imagined the worst- in those few seconds I tried, not only to remember the pregnancy information and medical training that I'd had, but to remember how to function as fear swept through my veins, pumping into my heart and brain.

"Han?" she gasped, squeezing my hand tightly as a tear rolled down her cheek, "Hanna!" I met her eyes and she laughed, grinning widely at me and laughing through her tears, pulling me towards her, "Hanna, she's kicking!"

* * *

><p>AN So, I know there was a distinct lack of Spemily in this chapter, what did you guys think?

Notice that Aria still hasn't come clean to Hanna about what A made her do? I wonder how Hanna's going to take that...

And the sex of Aria's baby- should she find out, or should it be a surprise? Still slightly undecided on the sex, though I think I know which I'm leaning towards, but I'm really intrigued to hear your opinions as to whether you can imagine her with a baby boy or a little girl?

~LaughLoveLiveXx


	8. Chapter 8

I recall we left off on a rather joyous moment? Sweet, huh?  
>Don't get used to that. This one may be bitter and slightly tragic- more than that, it provokes a lot of questions.<p>

Let the games begin.

* * *

><p>The loud, shrill sound of the door bell echoes around the Hasting's property, stirring Emily from sleep- Spencer, on the other hand, was glad of the distraction from her thoughts. It had been a eleven days since her talk with Aria, and, as far as she knew, Hanna was still in the dark, and it was killing the brunette, watching the two of them play house, as happy as can be to the naked eye...but not to her. When she worked it out, she was twenty two, and living an accelerated lifestyle, she knew, but that meant that, for the past nine years, she'd spent almost everyday observing the people she loved.<p>

But they had never before looked like this.

Aria's eyes carried sheer despair, caught between a rock and a hard place and desperate to get out, and with nowhere to turn, and too much to lose if she tried. But the pain said it all. Which was why, on some level, she thought that Hanna must have already figured it out- even she wasn't that dense.

"It's okay, sweetie, I got it." She whispered, as her wife's eyes fluttered open and she murmured in sleepy confusion. Emily smiled and kissed Spencer lazily, before rolling back over and falling fast asleep again. Gazing lovingly at the taller girl, Spencer crept across the room, only cutting off her eye contact as she slipped through the door and down the stairs. Thunder clapped around the house as she glanced into her daughters bedroom in passing, a maternal instinct which she felt for sure would never cease.

"Hanna?" She gasped as she pulled open the front door, staring in amazement, at the disheveled girl in front of her, for a moment before pulling her inside and wrapping her arms around her, "Han, what's wrong?"

Spencer carefully guided her best friend up the stairs and into the guest bedroom, listening cautiously to every sound emitted from both the blond girl and their surroundings,  
>"It's okay," She assured her, after having quickly ascertained the events of the evening, as she grabbed a towel and a spare pair of the blond's pajamas, that were laying in the closet, with a fair amount of her day clothes of hers and Aria's, from all of the nights that they'd spent there recently, just as if they were kids again.<p>

_The blond girl groaned in frustration as her TV screen went black, for the second time in five minutes. At first, she'd thought that the power had gone out, but the lights were still working perfectly well. It was an old set, the one that she'd taken with her from her teenage bedroom, to college, and then here when they'd moved in. Annoyed, she pulled on her dressing gown and trudged across the hall to her best friend's bedroom- she'd spend the evening there, instead. It'd be nice, actually, she thought, despite living together, they didn't see nearly enough of each other than they both would have liked, what with Aria's pregnancy and them taking separate roles within their company. _

_She opened the door without knocking, as she always did, and fell onto the bed beside the brunette, scooping up a handful of popcorn from the bowl perched on the end of the bed. Her best friend smiled, but didn't speak- she didn't need to, after all, Hanna knew her well enough to communicate without words by now. Returning her smile, she leaned against the headboard, letting the smaller girl lean against her, the way that they always sat when they were together, like this. They sat, contentedly, in each others arms while they watched one show after another on MTV, laughing and crying with each other as they let the emotions consume them and wash away the problems of another lifetime. _

_"Ar, what's this?" The blond girl asked, reaching underneath the brunette's pillow in search of the object that was digging into her back, and finally pulling out a small bottle of pills. Her pills. She laughed at first, amused with the nature of the situation. And then she realized. _

_There was screaming and crying, words spat out in the heat of the moment, that would later be regretted wholeheartedly. Tears of another life, filled with terrible mistakes and animosity held only for the predicament in which they found themselves, but harbored in the wrong direction. Misplaced passion, both the good and the bad, flung by each girl toward the only thing she had ever been sure of, the only consistency in her life: the other. _

"Oh, Hanna," Spencer soothed, sitting on the edge of the bed and holding her best friend close to her as her body shook with hurt and distrust. Pulling back, Spencer peeled the blond's saturated shirt off of her skin and, after discarding it in the laundry basket, focused on towel drying her shivering body. Once she was dressed again, the brunette wrapped her tightly in her arms, settling her on her lap, with her head fitting perfectly in to her shoulder, providing the comfort that only family can.

And that, was what they were. The four, now five, of them always had been- adapting their roles to suit the needs of the others, whether it be to provide motherly advice, sisterly comfort or even childlike companionship.

"Han, I know how much you're hurting right now. But it's going to be okay." The brunette assured her as her best friend writhed in her arms, fighting an invisible force that was tugging on her heart strings.

"How?" Hanna screamed, "How could you possibly know? How am I feeling now, then, Spencer?" Her words were bitter and came between heart crushing sobs, that served the sole purpose of proving Spencer right. After all, if there was anyone who was going to be able to understand how the blond was feeling at that exact moment, it was Spencer.

"Well," She started calmly, stroking Hanna's hair softly as she pulled her tightly against her, stilling her movements somewhat, "I guess you're feeling hurt, and betrayed?" Hanna nodded meekly and buried her head in Spencer's chest as she continued to cry, "Angry, and probably a little lost?" The blond shook her head yes again, "And vulnerable. But most of all, you're missing Aria aren't you?"

The blond's defiant look that Spencer was rewarded with from that statement dissipated with a stern look from the taller girl,  
>"I can't miss her." Hanna bawled, clutching tightly onto Spencer's T-shirt, in need of something to release her frustration on, as everything she'd thought that she could rely on began to fade away. Her instincts were questioned and her heart was broken. "She- she-she hurt me."<p>

Spencer hummed serenely, running her fingers through Hanna's long, curly hair.  
>"That's true," She conceded, rocking the smaller girl gently in her arms, aware that, at that particular moment in time, she needed the comfort of a mother, and not the argument of a lawyer. "But, did she tell you why?"<p>

* * *

><p>"Here we go," Spencer whispered soothingly as she took Hanna's hand and guided her to her own bedroom, using the other to push open the, still ajar, wooden door, "Stay with Emily." She instructed. Hanna looked worriedly to Spencer for a matter of seconds before she realized what the brunette already knew- that Emily, though she was still the least informed of them all, probably knew exactly what was going on. Her wife had always been that way, intuitive to the point of extraordinary.<p>

The thinner girl watched from the doorway until the blond was safely in bed, wrapped in the arms of her own wife, and Hanna's best friend, before slipping out o the room. Out of both habit and concern, she entered Arianna's bedroom quietly, to double check the locks on her window and for her own peace of mind, her daughters' health. With a gentle kiss to the slumbering child's forehead, she left both the room and the house, taking the utmost care to avoid each creaking floorboard of the house that she knew so well, so as not to disturb any of the people that she cared about.

Even whilst driving away, Spencer couldn't help but repeatedly checking her rear view mirror for any sign of potential danger. In doing so, she started to internally reflect on her wife's accusations of the past few months; she couldn't blame her, really, when she thought about it- they were horribly accurate. She was paranoid. Even with as much medical and legal jargon as her vocabulary contained, she couldn't phrase it more directly. Just as it had happened in high school, she had begun to watch her back again. To start memorizing the color of the clothes that both her wife and daughter were wearing before they left the house, just in case. And she was looking at them as though every glance might be the last.

She'd started to play the game. And as soon as she was in the game, A was in the lead.

Pulling the car to an easy stop, the brunette swung the door shut behind her with an exceedingly loud thump, ducking her head under her hood as she ran up the drive in the pouring rain. As soon as the first raindrops hit her pale skin, she was instantly reminded of that night in the rain with Emily, all those years ago- although she'd loved her before, in many more ways than one, it was that night, as the two had fallen to the sidewalk together, clutched in each others arms, finding a heartwarming comfort despite the storm raging around them, that Spencer had known that they'd always be together. Always.

She rapped loudly on the door, fighting for her sound to be heard over that of the rain around her, giving in quickly and trying the handle. To her horror, the door swung open. That, with A, was the golden rule. Survival 101. Logic. Fearing the worst, she abandoned her soaked sneakers and jacket on the hall carpet and taking the stairs two at a time, only pausing briefly to slam the front door shut. Whatever was going on in the Montgomery-Marin household tonight had already had far too much input from A for her liking.

* * *

><p>"Where is she? Are you okay?" Emily fussed frantically, checking her wife's uncharacteristically unkempt appearance for any sign of injury,<br>"Through those doors," Spencer replied absently, the strained look on her face worrying the taller girl more than the situation itself,  
>"Spence, what's wrong?" She asked seriously, staring her wife dead in the eyes as they engaged in a battle of wills,<br>"I don't know yet!" The brunette snapped, pulling away from Emily and walking over to the nearest wall, resting her head against it as she closed her eyes exasperatedly,  
>"Spencer." The taller woman continued sternly, "Whatever happened, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. It is not your fault. Now I suggest you stop sulking like a child and tell me what's wrong so we can fix this, instead of letting it spiral out of control."<p>

"Spiral out of control?" Spencer screamed incredulously, "So, this is in control to you?" She laughed wryly, "Emily, has it occurred to you that this is the second hospital visit that we've had in the past month? Has it?" She screamed. The other few inhabitants of the waiting room had begun to shuffle away from the scene, the uncomfortable atmosphere reaching even them.

"Yes!" Emily retaliated, her voice cracking awfully as she attempted to match her wife's level of volume, "Okay? I have. And it bothers me, Spence, believe me."  
>"What if it's you?" The shorter girl admitted, releasing a few tears with her statement and staring hard at the gray, linoleum flooring, "What if, the next time we're here, it's you? Or Arianna?" She was yelling again now. Frustrated. Angry. Heartbroken. "What if it's you and there's nothing that I can do about it?"<p>

"Spencer," Emily whispered, drawing the syllables out slowly, her bottom lip trembling as she made the first move towards her wife, "Spence, it won't be."  
>"You don't know that." She countered. It broke her heart tenfold, but Emily knew that she was right. She couldn't guarantee her own safety or anyone else's anymore.<p>

"You guys?" Hanna interrupted from the doorway, her voice accompanied by the sound of screaming and plastic against plastic as the door's slammed shut. Simultaneously, both Emily and Spencer looked up from where they'd ended up together, towards the blond, noticing immediately that her face was stained with the same enormity of tears as their own, "We need you."

Without another word, the two followed Hanna to the door, taking each of her hands in one of their own as they entered. A united front against whatever they may find.

"Aria?" Emily called sympathetically when she first spotted the brunette, lying in the mist of bright white hospital sheets, "Aria what's wrong?"  
>"That's just it," Hanna piped up, her voice remarkably strong in comparison to her demeanor, "They're not sure. But they think that she could be in labor."<p>

Spencer's jaw dropped open. In college, undecided on what she'd wanted to do in life, she taken pre-law and several night classes on different topics- one of which, happened to be medicine. But it didn't even take that knowledge to figure out that, at five an a half months, contractions of any kind seldom brought good fortune upon either the mother or child.

"Where's hurting most?" Spencer asked, sitting down next to Aria on the edge of her bed and adopting her professional persona, "If you can't speak properly, use my hands to show me?" Aria nodded grimly through gritted teeth, gripping the railing of the bed tightly in her fist, she growled with pain as a contraction peaked, turning blue in the face as she tried to suppress the pain. Once it had passed, she took one of Spencer's hands and slid it down her stomach to the bottom of her bump, to the point where the taller girl could feel the hem of her underwear.

"Just here?" She asked rhetorically, feeling expertly along the width of her body, from hip to hip, "I see," She gave Aria's hand a squeeze and beckoned for her wife to follow her out of the room. The smaller girl groaned again, throwing her head forward as she writhed in agony.

"Hanna? What are you doing?" Spencer sighed as the blond followed her out of the room,  
>"Coming with you, or sending one of you two back in." Spencer opened her mouth to retort, but Emily stepped in before any more damage could be caused,<br>"You need to go back in, Han." She said gently, turning her to the side and giving her a slight push towards the door.

"I can't do this." The blond whispered, her voice sounding strange and high, "It's too crazy and she's in pain and-"

"Honey," Emily looked hard into her eyes, "You need to be in there."

"I can't." Hanna replied again, her throat hurting her as she spoke, "It's too much too deal with."

"Well, that's too bad." Emily stated simply, grabbing Hanna's shoulder and pushing her to the door, her other hand guiding her on her lower back. "Aria is counting on you. You can't let her down now."

"I'm no help. She won't want me there, I'm a mess. You go, or Spencer." She protested, but Emily's hand was already on the door, pushing it wide open, still keeping a hold of me with her other hand,  
>"You are the <em>only <em>one that she wants."

* * *

><p>"Where have you been?" Aria shrieked as the blond edged inside the room, "I'm freaking out here, Hanna and you keep vanishing into thin air!"<br>"I didn't vanish," Hanna mumbled, "I was sorting out some things with Emily. But I'm here now."

"Well, good." She grimaced, "Because I really need-" She stopped talking and sat straight up, holding her stomach tightly as she emitted a low, guttural moaning sound that got louder and louder by the second. She breathed heavily again and grabbed for the the taller girls hand, clinging to it so tightly that she could almost hear the crunching of bone-on-bone.

"Lets do our breathing? Okay?" Hanna said, as she snapped back into action, pulling up a chair at the side of the bed, "Deep breath in now, like we practiced." Aria glared back at her, her dark eyes hooded and full of ire.

"I don't want to breathe." She snapped, "I want them to knock me out completely while they figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. They don't even need drugs. They can just hit me over the head or something. That's fine. But I can't do this."

"Yes, you can!" Her best friend assured her, squeezing her hand lightly, "You can, I promise!"

"Easy for you to say." Aria muttered dryly, "All you have to do is sit there and tell me to breathe. You have the fucking easy part." Before this, Hanna wasn't sure if she'd ever heard her best friend curse before.

"Aria. Hold it together."

"Do not tell me to hold it together until you've felt this pain." She rose up in bed, spitting the frozen shards of ice, that she'd been chewing, in all directions across the room, her face going pale as another contraction hit.

"Breathe." Hanna coached, doing the required breathing acts herself. Out, out, out, inhale deep, out, out, out.

But she wasn't breathing, only moaning again. The low groaning sound that made the blond want to back away from the bed in fear for her life. She'd been wrong. They couldn't do this. They weren't ready, not even close. This was big, huge- and she suddenly felt woozy and sick to her stomach, as she wished she was one of the girl scouts who she'd seen eating candy together in the lobby after a camping incident.

"Hanna-" She groaned, searching for the blond's eye contact, "Hanna, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She started to cry now, not screaming as she'd been before, but crying the tears of an innocent child, too young to be dealing with any of this herself.

"It's okay, we can sort it out when we get home. We're just going to take this now one step at a time. Together."

* * *

><p>"Can I ask how you're related to Ms. Montgomery?" The doctor asked skeptically as Spencer cornered him,<br>"I'm her sister," She lied smoothly, "And this is my wife."  
>"Right." He raised his eyebrows and looked her over, "Well, there's not much I can disclose to you, I'm afraid."<p>

Spencer snorted with disgust,  
>"Yeah, right." She disagreed,<br>"Well, let me put it this way," He sighed, fiddling with the hem of his scrubs, "From her symptoms, I'd say it's not so good."

"How not good?" Emily asked softly, slipping her hand into Spencer's as both girls paled drastically,  
>"That, I can't tell you at this time."<p>

"That's a load of diplomatic BS and you know it," The thinner girl retorted, "We need to know what's going on."

He shifted uncomfortably under the brunette's harsh stare, avoiding her eyes whilst he flicked through the papers on his clipboard,  
>"Lets just say that, if my diagnosis is correct, which they usually are, the next few months will be absolutely crucial to your sister."<p>

* * *

><p>AN This chapter was a bitch to write, hope the next one's better.

I'm curious as to what you guys think will happen with Aria from here on out.

Also, I promise that the next chapter will be much more Spemily-centric.

Reviews appreciated.

Next time,

~LaughLoveLiveXx


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine, a little bit of a filler to be honest, and certainly not my favorite thing that I've ever written. But oh well, it needed writing.

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><p>"Come on, lets get you to bed." Hanna sighed as the two stepped over the threshold and into their house. Aria pouted. Apart from the latter statement, the entire car journey home had been eerily quiet and unlike every other that they had ever taken together. Usually, car rides were filled with the sounds of aimless chattering, childish giggling and loud, out of tune singing. Today, they were mere echoes of a happier time.<p>

"I'm not tired," she said stubbornly, placing her hands on her hips, making her stomach protrude even more than it usually did.  
>"No arguements, the doctor said strict bedrest, that means, rest in bed."<br>Without another word, the blond followed her up the stairs and into her bedroom, where she busied herself with running around and fetching everything that her best friend could possibly need.

Her best friend. Still. After everything, both recent and old.  
>In a daze, she helped Aria to change and tucked her in under several blankets, all in a matter of seconds while her mind raced as to the possible outcomes of her confusion. She grabbed the two bottles of of the nightstand and began to unscrew the lid of the first- it had always amused her, how mature Aria could be, even as a kid, yet she refused to take any medicine that wasn't liquefied. Hanna giggled as Aria's entire face scrunched up as the taste hit her tongue.<p>

"Yuck," She moaned, as she swallowed down the second mouthful. The blond rolled her eyes and proceeded to tie the shorter girls hair back, running her fingers soothingly along the back of her neck as she did. She allowed her hand to rest on the side of the smaller girls face for a second, before she dimmed the lights and kissed her forehead, slipping out of the room silently, trying not to look back.

"Han?" Aria called out weakly, " Hanna?"

The taller girl didn't reply. Stopping dead in the doorway she subconsciously bit her lip, leaving her sharp intake of breath as the only sound lingering in the air.

"It's always going to be there, right? Us?" The brunette's voice shook with uncertainty and vulnerability, and it took all that was in her power of self restraint not to go running back- as badly as she wanted to. Be honest with herself, after everything that had happened over the course of the night, a certain perspective had been gained, leaving their original quarrel looking insignificant in the great scheme of things.

And for Arianna. She knew that, in a heartbeat, she'd give her own life for that of her Goddaughter's, and that Aria had that knowledge. Besides, She'd swapped them back, hadn't she? Even with all the justification for her actions that she had, she'd still done the right thing, whatever that may be. She wasn't even sure now, what the right thing was.

"Think of everything we went through and did together. Of course it is." Her words were sincere and reassuring, her tone, on the other hand, was not. Her voice was husky and quiet, that of someone who is both sleep deprived and deep in thought.

"We went through everything together." Aria agreed, her tone cracking, over her mimicked use of the past tense, and her desperation leaking through, breaking Hanna's heart with the intensity of the remorse and guilt she felt.

"I'm sorry." Hanna whispered back, swallowing hard against her enormous desire to forgive the girl behind her, "I need to sleep. It's almost morning. I'll talk to you soon though."

"We'll figure this out, won't we?" The brunette's voice held a hint of hope, and one of dread as she begged for a response from her roommate.

"It's us." The blond managed through her threatening tears, "We sure will."

* * *

><p>"Thanks again, Pam." Spencer smiled as she took her sleeping daughter from the arms of her mother in law, "For taking her so late and at such short notice." The older woman smiled, looking lovingly at Arianna as she nestled down in her own mother's arms,<br>"Anytime, Spencer." She assured her, "And I hope Aria's feeling better soon."

"So do I," She smiled wryly,  
>"Spencer?" Pam called out as the younger woman turned to walk away, "Is there anything going on that I should know about?"<p>

The brunette froze in her tracks, turning back towards the woman who had once terrified her more than anything else,  
>"Not that I can think of, why do you ask?" She replied calmly,<p>

She proceeded down the sidewalk quietly, for once feeling the benefit of having Pam so close by, even if it normally created more problems than it solved. When she returned home, she spotted her wife sat on the porch, awaiting her return anxiously.

"You could have waited for us in the house." She smirked, as Emily smiled sheepishly up at her from her seat on the swing.  
>"I know," The taller girl sighed, maintaining her eye contact with Spencer whilst she sat beside her. "Come here," She motioned, lifting her arm and wrapping it around her wife, who gladly relaxed into the contact, allowing herself to be vulnerable for the first time around the two people whom she wanted so badly to protect.<p>

"Can you hear that?" Emily whispered into her wife's hair, as she rested her chin on top of Spencer's head, careful not to disturb the infant, still slumbering in the brunette's protective embrace,  
>"Hear what?" Her wife said in return, keeping her voice low,<br>"Nothing. Just silence." The taller girl mused prophetically, "Just silence. No A, no hospitals, no crazy confusion. Just us."

Spencer smiled, closing her eyes and savoring the moment,  
>"I like it." She murmured, snuggling further into Emily as she spoke,<br>"So do I," The tan girl sighed, "So do I."

* * *

><p>Maybe was the lack of sleep that was making it so hard right at that moment. Maybe it was how real that memory had felt before the blond woke up. Whatever it was, she missed her so terribly… so fully… that it was almost too much to handle. And the worst part was, that she was right across the hall.<br>It sounded melodramatic when she thought about it logically, it wasn't like the brunette wasn't there...she just wasn't who she thought she was. No, more than that- she couldn't trust her any more. Even after all those years spent together, with only each other for comfort.

Hanna barely made it to the bed before she broke down, willing herself to find the strength to hold it all together. Instead, pulling her legs up to her chest, she buried her face in her knees so that she could try to hide the sobs.  
>She let them out this time… the pressure having built to such a level that it was impossible to keep them in. Feeling around, she half expected to find Aria beside her, settling next to her on the bed again, like they had so many times in her early stages of her recovery. After a minute or so, she'd pull her close, and the blond would reach forward and grasp onto her shirt, her face now in her chest as the tears flowed.<br>But she wasn't there. And maybe, she never would be again.  
>"I can't do this anymore Ar," She muttered out loud, through her thick tears. "I don't know how to live without you."<p>

It felt like the levvee breaking as everything came flowing out all at once. She didn't know how long she cried before the words started seeping out of her mouth, but when they did, they were barely recognizable.

"You promised me… You promised me that you would be here for me forever," She mumbled, her face buried in the pillow that was serving a poor substitute for her best friend. "You said that you would never hurt me...what happened to that?" She screamed silently, through her sobs as she clutched onto the pillow tightly, a sore reminder of the arms that she should have been in.

* * *

><p>"It's been a long night, huh?" Spencer sighed as she heard her wife step inside the room,<br>"This all happened in one night?" Emily laughed, "It feels like it's been years since I went to sleep."  
>"We'll rectify that shortly." The brunette grinned, feeling her wife's hands slip around her waist from behind.<p>

"I wonder who she'll be..." The taller woman sighed wistfully, caressing her wife's hand as she she held it over the crib,  
>"Anyone she wants to be." Her wife replied, settling her head against the other girl's shoulder and yawning a little,<br>"Maybe a teacher, or a doctor. Or an actress." Emily mused into her wife's ear,  
>"Yeah, right." Spencer chuckled, "This is our child we're talking about. She'll find the cure for cancer. Or become the first female president of the United States of America."<p>

The tan girl laughed loudly,  
>"Or she could be the first woman to ever land on another planet."<br>"Discover another planet, you mean."

The both of them stared at their shared miracle, dreaming of the future that she'd one day have, and counting their blessings that they had her. It hadn't been easy, there was no doubt about that. It had been a mess of obstacles and dark mistakes that had characterized their strength, especially in the early years; now, they were but a haze of tears and life changing decisions, ones that the girls were yet to experience the full consequences of.

"She could do all of those things." Emily whispered to her wife and daughter, extending her smallest finger to her daughter and watching gleefully as the baby's tiny fist curled around it tightly, "All of those and more."

"She sure could." Spencer agreed, mimicking her wife with her other hand. "This is how I like it, Em."  
>"Like what?" Smiled the taller girl, barely taking her eyes away from the sleeping child in her grasp,<br>"Just you and me, and our daughter."

She grinned back at the brunette, feeling excess contentment begin to drip from her eyes at her wife's words.

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." She sang softly, mesmerized by the fluttering eyelids of her little girl, wondering what dreams lay behind them. "Did your mom ever read you that, Spence?"

The brunette shook her head sadly,  
>"I don't remember my mom ever reading to me, or singing to me." She said with an air of painful nostalgia, "My dad read me Where The Wild Things Are, though. Every night until I was four."<p>

Emily met her wife's eyes, that were swimming with the fragments of her broken childhood, and realized how different Arianna's symbolism was to her, than to herself. To the brunette, she wasn't only her daughter, but her second chance at a childhood.

"Come here," She whispered into the thinner girl's hair, sitting down in the rocking chair beside the crib and tugging Spencer with her, wrapping the shorter girl into her arms, where she always fit perfectly. Entangling her finger's in her long, dark tresses, she began to rock the chair softly back and forth with her feet, as she sang softly into her hair.

"I'll love you, forever; I'll like you, for always; as long as I'm living, my everything, you'll be."

* * *

><p>"I'm always going to love you," Hanna whispered to the girl in the dark, propping a folded white piece of paper up on her bedside table, against her various bottles of medicine, "But I don't know how to do it right now."<p>

Daylight can often show things in ways in which no other light can, pure and raw, with no leeway for emotions, no consideration and absolutely no regrets. Tears and troubles settled upon the world, like the early morning dew drops on the spring grass, as decisions were made by those who would soon regret them, once the light of day presented them with the clarity that they searched for in their time of need.

The light of day is cold and unforgiving; it illuminates covert flaws, unnoticeable behind the mask of darkness. It makes prominent the shadows that we run from, as it does those who slip away from us, forcing us to relive the heartbreak twice over as it uses it's cruel rays to highlight our longings.

And as hearts broke and tears fell, in to the fresh start of a new day slipped one of the most notorious shadows slipped through their doorway, in to the twisted rays of Rosewood.

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><p>AN

Firstly, apologies for the length of this update, or rather, lack thereof.

There's hopefully going to be a lot of drama going on in Rosewood in the next few updates of this fic, but for this chapter, I was rendered at a loss as to what to incorporate, so, I promise that the next update will be both longer and better than this.

As always, a massive thanks to those who read, favorited or reviewed this story so far. It means a great deal to me; I love to hear what you think of this story and/ or the way in which it's written.

I have started to write this in the third person, as opposed to first as I began it, which way do you guys prefer?

Thanks for reading,  
>~LaughLoveLiveXx<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Aha, chapter ten is finally finished, though it didn't take as long as I assumed it would, though it wasn't exactly a quick update.

Hope you guys don't find it too confusing.

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><p>Aria sat inside the house that she used to share with the one person that meant the most to her in the world. The rain was pounding against the windows, a hard, pulsing beat, serving as a reminder of one time where the two of them had been so freaked by a storm that they hid under the covers all day, devising plans for the future, creating a utopia of fiction for the both to fantasize about in years to come. And, unbeknownst to them at the time, making a memory that they'd treasure for years, maybe even forever.<p>

She used to love her, with every inch of her soul. But now, she just felt lonely...Empty; dead inside.

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks, kind of like the rain rolling down her windowpane- thick, heavy and unstoppable. She knew there was no shame in crying, that if Hanna was here now, she'd probably laugh a little and pull the smaller girl into her. Then she'd tell her to get up, get dressed and get over it.

They'd order pizza, if she were there, half green peppers, half pepperoni- her favorite. But she wasn't there, she was gone, and the only things left were tears and heartbreak.

She tried to convince herself that her leaving wasn't the worst thing ever. But who the hell was she kidding? It was the worst thing next to…there was no comparison. Since she left, she felt robotic. Going through the motions slowly, in a form of daze with no real purpose.

She denied feeling anything, sometimes. Pushing the hurt aside, not wanting to believe it- thinking that, maybe, if she ignored it, it would go away...after all, that's what Ali had told her all those years ago.

It hurt so much worse.

The past three weeks had hurt her more than anything ever had before.

She hadn't said the right things the first time she walked out of that door, furious after she found out by accident what the brunette had kept from her, in an attempt to protect her. And she hadn't even known that she was gone the time after that. The once chance she'd had, the brief glimpse of her that she'd seen on that sunny afternoon, two weeks ago, she had barely opened her mouth. That encounter had permanently ruined sunny days for her.

All she had managed to squeak out was that she should stay- never once saying why, just that she should. She told her that I needed her, sure. And that she was definitely sorry. But she didn't say what she should have.

Instead, she watched her walk out the door.

If only she could do it over, say the right words, do the right things. Then everything would be better. Everything would be perfect. She'd be there now. With her.

Now, she never would.

In the morning, the storm would have passed and the world would be waiting for her.

She'd go out; feeling as though everyone's eyes were on her,boring into her skin, watching her every move. She'd feel uncomfortable around them. Around everybody...because they weren't her.

Spencer tried to be sympathetic, but she was bad at it. Downright awful, in fact. The awkward pats on the back were annoying. The hushed whispering, as if she would break. It was horrible.

But the hardest thing in the world was getting up each morning and not seeing her at the foot of her bed, in her pajamas, with her blond hair tied back messily and no make up on. It felt wrong, showering in the morning and the water staying the same temperature, because she hadn't used all the hot water beforehand; and finding an immaculate kitchen, because she hadn't messed it up trying to cook.

That was the hardest thing: knowing that, if she had said just one thing differently, everything might have been changed. Any one of those morning routines would still be in place.

It was ironic, really. She was usually good with words. Hanna herself had told her that once, when the blond had messed something up with someone or something, once upon a time. She asked me to help her fix it, because she would know what to say. And usually, she knew exactly what to say.

But not now.

She kept wishing that she could turn around, in her previous place. Just once glance back. Then, she could chase her, run after her, and stop her.

Tell her everything.

* * *

><p>Smash. Creak. Crack. Bang. Creak. Creak. Footsteps. Quick, purposeful, deliberate. Footsteps. Quick. Quick. Stop. Smack. Curse. Footsteps. Footsteps. Footsteps. Stop.<p>

Breathing. Heavy breathing. Footsteps. Breathing. Louder. Louder. Louder. Smack. Footsteps. Footsteps. Laugh. Smack.

"Ari?" Spencer cried, scrambling off of her wife's lap and tripping as she did, catching herself at the last minute on the wooden railing of the crib; "Baby?"

Her head cleared and the view of her perfect child swam into her head. She gulped, caressing the side of her daughter's head briefly before glancing around the room. All was still, in the nursery at least. Emily was sleeping peacefully in the rocking chair, and her pretty baby was fast asleep in her crib, the laundry basket was a quarter full, her book was laying open on the changing table where she'd left it before, on page one hundred and ninety eight. Perfect and still.

Too perfect. Too still.

"Em?" She whispered to her wife, careful not to wake their daughter, "Emily, wake up?" The taller girl began to stir as her wife shook her by the shoulders, opening one eye sleepily to Spencer's desperation.

"Spence?" She murmured, "Spence, what's going on?"

"Em, I think I heard something. Someone." The brunette muttered darkly, continuing to inspect all aspects of the nursery with a keen eye.  
>"What?" Emily shrieked, shuddering as she shot a glance towards her daughter's sleeping form.<p>

"Hey, hey don't panic," The shorter girl soothed, turning to face her wife for the first time since she'd woken her,  
>"Don't panic, Spence, really?" Emily hissed incredulously, "You think that you heard someone in our house, in the middle of the night, but it's okay, don't panic?"<p>

"Actually, it's very early morning, not the middle of the night." She retorted factually. The darker girl glared at her,  
>"What difference does that make?"<br>"Believe it or not, it makes a lot of difference." The thinner girl smirked, her smile quickly falling from her face under her wife's glare, "Like, our security camera's work far better in the daylight. Plus, our sprinkler's came on exactly six minutes ago."

Emily laughed warily, reaching down and scooping her daughter out of her crib, pulling her tightly to her chest and kissing her soft hair.  
>"Have you been downstairs?" She asked cautiously, not wanting to impart any ideas of false heroism onto her wife.<p>

"Nope, that's my next stop."  
>"Wait, Spence?" Her wife called after her, as she stepped quietly through the doorway,<br>"Hmm?"

On an impulse, the taller woman grabbed her wife fiercely by the hips, pulling her into her and kissing her hard. Biting down ferociously on her wife's lip, she slid her hand up her shirt gently, slipping her tongue inside the other girls mouth- kissing her in a way they hadn't since their wedding night; hungry for the contact and both oozing with desperation.

As she pulled away, Spencer grinned at her wife.  
>"Maybe we can continue that tonight?" She whispered seductively, taking her baby girl from Emily's arms and resting her in one of her own.<br>"You bet." The taller girl smirked, planting another soft kiss on her wife's lips.

"Excellent." The brunette grinned. "Now, I'm going to go and check the house over, just for my own peace of mind. Do you want to come with me, little lady?" Arianna gurgled happily, not appearing to be tired at all now. "I assume that means yes."

* * *

><p><em>The scorching hot, summer sun blazed down on Pennsylvania, as school let out, on an average Friday afternoon, in June. The halls were empty, save a few teacher's grabbing a few last minute supplies for the weekend, and the grounds were littered with students, all obeying the unspoken rule that dictated that, after three o' clock, no kid was to remain within the building. Groups of fourteen year old girls sat upon the fresh cut grass, giggling over magazines and ogling the boys within their pages. The real boys walked in packs, all having adorned the same goofy grins and carrying some form of sporting equipment.<em>

_Yes, life was utopic as Aria Montgomery searched the crowd for any sign of her best friends. In all honesty, she was only looking for one of them- Hanna. As always, Emily would have swim practice, Spencer would have field hockey, or French, or Latin, or whatever else she did when school ended, and Ali? Well, Alison was seldom seen by any of the girls when she had no use for them._

_But Hanna was always around. And that was just the way Aria liked it._

_Spying the blond girl, she hurried towards her, her pink satchel flapping behind her knees as she weaved in and out of the maze of other students to reach the blond girl. She was perched on one of the outer school walls, her feet dangling a foot of the ground and her turquoise eyes surveying the scene below- searching for a deeper meaning. Grinning, she extended her hand out to the shorter girl and pulled her up next to her, where they sat and watched the young teenagers leak out of the school gates, eager to start the weekend._

_But there was no hurry for Hanna, for she had everything she needed right beside her. Out of them all, Aria, she reckoned, was her best friend. There was something genuine between them that couldn't be described, something honest and raw. Spencer was brilliant, and witty, but she had a tendency to be slightly overbearing, and her insane speed, at which she did everything, was too much for Hanna to handle; Emily was beautiful and talented, but shy and awkward at times, and then there was Ali. And nothing was genuine with Alison._

_But with Aria? With the brunette beside her, she always felt safe and comfortable, like she didn't have to be anything other than herself- probably because the shorter girl got more looks from judging teenage eyes, due to her eccentric appearance, than Hanna felt she did because of her weight. And she trusted her, oh yes, she'd trust this girl forever._

_The sun beat down on the pale skin of Aria's exposed back, as she lay flat on her stomach along the top of the wall. To anyone else, this may have seemed dangerous, as the wall was at least five feet tall, but the quirky brunette had a way about her that no one questioned. She glanced up from her sketch pad momentarily, placing the end of her charcoal pencil between her front teeth thoughtfully._

_"What are you drawing?" The blond girl asked her, peering over the book and taking in the upside down picture,_  
><em>"Just what I see." She smiled back, setting the pencil to the paper again and beginning to carve the color expertly into her desired shape.<em>  
><em>"Hey! Don't draw me!" Hanna moaned, blushing furiously, but rolling her eyes to try and detract attention from it.<em>

_"I'm not just drawing you." Aria retorted, "I'm drawing everything."_  
><em>"But I'm the only one here." She moaned indignantly. The brunette pressed her lips together in concentration, and shook her head slowly,<em>  
><em>"Nope." She muttered.<em>

_"Here." She said five minutes later, ripping the paper carefully from the pad and handing it to Hanna with a cryptic smile. "I have to get home, my mom needs help with dinner." She jumped of the wall in true Aria fashion, landing expertly on her feet with a dull thud in front of the blond girl._

_They both waved, and bade each other goodbye, and her blue eyes stayed fixated on her back until she was out of sight entirely. Only then did she allow them to wander to the picture in her hands: a charcoal sketch of herself, against the schools background and the summer sun. Perfectly detailed, and somehow capturing the essence of the summer entirely. _

_She smiled to herself as she read the message that had been hidden in among the brick on the wall, in Aria's perfect, loopy handwriting._

_'You're beautiful, never forget that. Love, Aria.'_

* * *

><p>"Come into bed, Spence." Emily whispered huskily, checking the clock to see that it was only just past seven AM, and that they'd pretty much been up all night. Normally, she would have a conscience about going back to bed when there were a thousand and one other things for her to be doing. Her wife, however, seemed to have no such conscience as she pulled off her shirt and clambered into bed beside her.<p>

"Spence..." The taller girl whispered into the darkness of their bedroom, "Spencer. I'm scared." The brunette smiled wryly, rolling over to face Emily and feeling for her hands under the sheets.  
>"I know, beautiful." she whispered, so close now that her wife could feel her breath on her face, and it comforted her. "But life pushes you around sometimes, and it get's tough. And you start to hurt and feel weak, and when that time comes, you just need to hope that you have someone around to tell you that you're a fighter, and that you will make it through. And you will, because you have me." She leaned forward and kissed her softly on the nose, smiling in the dark as she did, "And Aria, and Hanna. And we all have each other, okay? We'll get through this."<p>

"I remember, Spence..." She mumbled, "I remember more than I ever told you that I knew." Her wife nodded understandingly, maneuvering her body to rest the vulnerable girls head on her shoulder. Emily sighed and closed her eyes at the contact. This was what she needed, what she wanted. To her, Spencer was magic; plain and simple.

It had never mattered what was going on in her life, the brunette had always had the ability to make everything go quiet in her head. Whether her Ali was giving her a hard time over her sexuality, her mother telling her she wasn't good enough, or even just worrying about something as trivial was what to wear to school that day...Spencer could make her world stop, and even if it was only for a moment, it had always made her feel like nothing bad could touch her.

That's what she needed now, to forget, even for just one second.

Sighing again, Emily rubbed her face into the brunette's shoulder trying to wipe some of the tears away as her wife ran her hand through her hair slowly.

"You okay?" The thinner girl asked in a low tone, "Dumb question, right?" She continued, when the other girl failed to answer her.

"I can still smell him." She whispered, barely audible over the sound of her wife's breathing.

Spencer closed her eyes tightly as her own memories, of those weeks, surfaced in her mind,

"Yeah." She agreed, with a hoarse voice, fighting her emotions to be strong for Emily.

"I don't need a picture to remember what he looked like Spence, I see him every time I close my eyes at night." The taller girl continued, as she felt the arms around her pull her closer into the brunette.

"I was so scared I couldn't sleep for over a week, and even then I had to keep the light on because when I woke up, from the nightmares, I had trouble believing he wasn't there anymore." Emily admitted, wondering when they'd stopped talking about it, and if Spencer remembered as clearly as she did, herself. "I remember how it felt when he held me down, when he hit me. And I don't think I'll ever forget the look he had in his eyes the whole time, like he wasn't really there."

Spencer nodded, she could remember everything that happened too, but, by letting her express how she was feeling, she hadn't meant to have her wife reliving every second of it.

"But you sleep okay now though, right?" The brunette asked, as a few of her own tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Mostly." She replied, before her hand tilted her wife's face up to look at her. "But, I think, between the two of us we should be able to keep the nightmares away." She said seriously, wanting Spencer to know that, no matter what either of them happened to be feeling, they were never alone.

"Good." Spencer breathed happily, glad that she could let go of her thoughts for now. She was lucky, she knew, to have someone, so close, who got her in the way she got Emily. To sympathize, to understand that, if you could push what had happened out of your mind, you could pretend that it doesn't effect you as much as it truly does. She had done the exact same thing when they had lost Alison.

Only Emily had seen it for the act that it was, and this time Spencer was going to be there every step of the way, just as she had been for her. She'd be there for the silence, the anger, the tears, she'd let her wife cope in her own way until she was ready to accept the help offered to her.

Paradoxically, this time, it seemed worse. It was in the past, she knew, but being older, having a family, and the new realms of responsibility that came with it, had made A's reappearance harder on all of them...especially the girl beside her.

"Hey." Spencer said softly, as she felt her wife's arm jerk against her, whilst she tried to settle down to sleep. "Shh, its okay Em, you're safe now, you're safe." She continued tightening her hold on the younger girl and tucking her head under her chin.

"He can't hurt you anymore, or me," She promised, feeling the remaining energy drain from her wife, "And definitely not our daughter."

* * *

><p><em>Aria Montgomery knocked loudly on the pristine, white door of the Marin household, with her backpack slung over one shoulder and clutching her duvet, that was spilling out of the garbage bag that her father had insisted on wrapping it in, in her arms. At only just five feet tall, it was almost as big as she was. She heard a high pitch giggle great her, when the door was flung open, and she fought with the mess of cotton to catch the eye of it's originator.<em>

_The blue eyes that stared back at her sparkled with anticipation and childish free-spirit, an enigma to her own dark orbs that knew dark creativity, only. Her big, goofy grin reciprocated the giggle, but she wasn't sure if the blond could see it over her sleeping arrangements._

_Laughing again, the larger girl grabbed it out of her hands, tucking it under one arm and taking Aria's hand with her other, pulling her in the direction of the staircase. The brunette's heart fluttered with excitement; this was their first sleepover. Ever._

_It wasn't surprising though, despite the both of them being thirteen years old. Hanna was the dork of their new click, and Aria was the freak of, well, everywhere. But they'd seen past that in each other._

_Aria's darkness was a charade, the blond knew, a thin veneer of thick make up and dark clothing, covering her raw emotion and crazy talent. She had yet to learn more about the girl beside her, but something about the brunette fascinated the other girl. There was nothing about Aria, it seemed, that would judge her, and that excited her. In a way that she'd never felt before. Her heart fluttered when they spoke, and she got goosebumps whenever she caught her eye._

_"So, where's your room?" The shorter girl asked politely, following her friend down the hall, her wide eyes taking in every sight that met them, _  
><em>"Just down here," The other girl motioned in front of her, before swinging open the door ceremoniously, and allowing Aria to walk inside first. <em>

_"What's your bedroom like?" Hanna asked casually, as the two settled down on the floor together, in a mass of bed clothes, leaning against the edge of the bed after having decided that, at real sleepovers, girls slept on the floor. _

_"Um," The paler girl whispered in thought, "Well, it has, um, a bed. And a desk. And, um..." The blond giggled, "A white paneled ceiling, that slopes either side, with big windows across the far wall- three of them, but I have really thick curtains. I like my room to be pitch black. My desks an antique, and so's my vanity, but that's really more like a chest of drawers, they came in a set though, at a really col vintage auction. My closet's hidden in the wall, and I have iron shelves above my bed for my books. Oh, and I collect pillows. Lots of them." _

_The blond smiled, feeling as though she'd finally gotten Aria to open up properly to her, _  
><em>"I'd like to see it sometime," She smiled, blushing slightly. The brunette smiled awkwardly back for a second, before her brown eyes it up with glee,<em>  
><em>"Maybe you could sleep over next weekend!" <em>

_Hanna grinned,_  
><em>"I'd like that," She admitted coyly. And, as if by magic, both girls felt the same frisson; in each others company, they had felt safe, and had assumed that they always would.<em>

But with nothing but the memory in her grasp, Aria Montgomery was left to second guess everything that they had ever felt.

* * *

><p>AN

Thoughts on this chapter?

I apologize for the lack of an update on All Your Secrets and More, I have sincere writers block; if you have any suggestions for it, PM me, or review it.

Ten reviews for an M-scene?

All the best,  
>~LaughLoveLiveXx<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

This chapter is pretty much all flashback, but I think that's kind of crucial at this point, considering that there's a lot that happened regarding 'Even Angels Fall' both in the story, and after it, which you guys still don't know about. So, on that note, this chapter is essential.

On top of that, it is entirely Spemily- something which will be rectified in the next chapter.

Enjoy it.

* * *

><p><em>"Would you please sit down?" Spencer asked, as she turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature down from scolding hot to warm; becoming slightly infuriated, to say the least, with Emily's obstinacy- after all, it had only been a matter of days since she'd returned from her hospital stay, and the brunette was still on tenterhooks.<em>

_Her best friend just continued to shift nervously where she stood in front of the mirror, eyeing her reflection warily,_  
><em>"It's fine." She replied, trying, to no avail, to wave off the shorter girl's concern.<em>

_Instead of arguing, she just turned back and finished what she was doing, then calmly walked over and physically took the tan girl by the shoulders and pushed her backwards until her legs collided with the counter, gently hoisting her on to it and giving her a firm look._

_"Sit!" She ordered, with a fake scowl. Wide eyed, Emily just did as instructed, but not without giving a grunt of displeasure as she crossed her arms over her chest, attempting to keep up with her obstinate attitude, which- in reality- was no match for that of her best friend's._

_Spencer sighed and knelt down in front of the other girl, giving her a sympathetic look as she patted her bare knee,_  
><em>"Look, I know your body is aching all over right now, especially your leg, so can you please just rest it until I get back with a change of clothes for you?" She pleaded, placing her bottom lip between her teeth as she released her best puppy dog stare. Under the influence of which, Emily melted immediately, feeling all of the anxiety leave her body through the contact that the other girl provided,<em>

_"Okay, back in a minute." The thinner girl said into the silence, giving her leg a decisive squeeze as she got to her feet and headed back to her own bedroom, telepathically thanking her absentee parents for, unintentionally, allowing her to have the house to herself once again._

_Emily bit her lip as she watched the brunette leave; she didn't want to let her out of her sight right now, as much as she hated to admit how dependent she'd become on the other girl, but she honestly couldn't say that she'd survive without her, right now. Sniffling, she wrapped her arms tighter around herself and leaned forward to stare at the floor tiles, pensively._

_"Got them," Spencer said with a smile, holding up a pair of plaid pajama pants and a plain white tank top, as she locked the bathroom door out of habit, despite them being completely alone. "They're huge on me, so they should be sufficiently loose enough not to aggravate your leg." She continued, placing the clothes down and turning to the dark haired girl. It was only at this point that she noticed Emily still hadn't acknowledged her presence._

_"Hey, Em, everything okay?" She asked softly, moving closer._

_She didn't look up._

_"Your leg that bad?" She asked, resuming her position in front of her best friend. She shook her head, as Spencer reached over and tucked some of her hair behind her ear. The taller girl gasped, when the hand then moved to cup her cheek and tilt her head up, she was afraid to look at the brunette but she couldn't pull away from the touch either._

_It wasn't hard to notice the tears, but it was the lack of eye contact that really worried the shorter of the two girls._  
><em>"Sweetie, please just tell me what's wrong?"Spencer swallowed hard at the sudden dread that washed over her: things had been fine up until they'd entered the bathroom. "Do... do you not want me to help you?" She asked, not showing how much it would hurt to hear Emily ask her to leave her alone. "I could get Hanna or Aria to-"<em>

_"That's not it." The darker girl whispered quickly, finally looking her best friend in the eye, with a meek glare that conveyed, both her tenacity and vulnerability, in one. Searching her face hoping to find the answer, it was clear the weaker girl was upset, but she just couldn't work out why, she'd only been gone a few minutes. This frustrated Spencer more than anything: the feeling of impotence. She felt her own eyes begin to water, to her dismay, hating to show weakness in front of someone who was counting on her to remain strong,_  
><em>"Did I do something wrong?" She asked fearfully.<em>

_That did it. Emily couldn't stand the look that her best friend wore whenever she asked that question. A face compiled of guilt and self hatred, an awful combination frequented with feeling of meretriciousness that tore her apart inside._

_The smaller girl only just managed to keep from being knocked over, onto her back, as she suddenly found her in her lap, hugging her for all she was worth. She licked her lips pensively, upon hearing the quiet sobs at her neck where the taller girl had buried her face._  
><em>"Hey, it's okay Em, everything's okay." She soothed awkwardly, her mouth still slightly agape with shock, as she finally found sense enough to hug her back.<em>

_But Emily just continued to cry._

_The brunette felt the tears falling down her own cheeks, as they sat there huddled together on the bathroom floor. The girl in her arms was so broken, that Spencer wasn't sure if she'd ever be the same girl she'd met as a kid. Or even if she'd ever be the same girl that she was a month ago.  
><em>

_There was only so much a person could go through, and she suspected that Emily was right at her limit. She wasn't blameless, by any stretch of the imagination, but she'd make up for every single tear that she had shed because of her, no matter how long that would take her. And it could possibly take a lifetime._

_Emily was going to get back to who she was, or whoever she wanted to be now, and it was Spencer's job to help her. She'd already decided that, not that it was a hard choice, but it did depend solely on whether or not she would let her back into her life again, as deep as she had been._

_She'd thought she already had, but, if she had really, truly, been as deeply inside of the other girls thoughts as she had thought she'd been, then the events of the past days would never of happened. Emily, poor, sweet Emily, would never have attempted to take her own life. And, as much as she may deny it, she needed Spencer in more ways than one._

_So far that was looking good._

_The crying however wasn't._

_The brunette let her head rest on her best friend's and tried to pull her closer, wanting to feel Emily's body against her own- not in a sexual way, but she needed the contact. Skin to skin reassurance. Pure comfort- nothing more, nothing less...nothing fake. It would have made her feel better if the bathrobes they both wore weren't as thick as they were, she could barely feel Emily's back as her hand moved up and down trying to calm her down._

_She had settled down some, she noticed now, but the thinner girl didn't want her falling asleep, given how important the doctors had insisted that it was to keep all of the tan girl's injuries sanitized._

_"Hey," She began, shifting to look at the girl in her arms, adoringly. "Why don't we grab a quick shower then get some rest? How does that sound?" She asked trying to smile. Emily eyed her for a moment before awkwardly getting up._  
><em>"Okay."<em>

_Spencer scrambled up after her, and checked the water before gesturing to Emily to get in first._  
><em>"After you."<em>

_The taller girl hesitated, but untied her robe and let it fall._  
><em>"Are you just saying that so that you can check me out?" She giggled, before giving her best friend a weak wink, and stepping into the shower.<em>

_The brunette let out a nervous laugh, and shook her head at her best friend, feeling the blood rush to her head as she began to blush straight from her neck, up to her hairline, placing her hand carefully on her shoulder to steady the other girl as she got in._  
><em>"Yeah, right." She replied, awkwardly, trying to ignore the warmth spreading across her face.<em>

_Blowing out a breath, she untied her own rob and joined Emily under the water, trying as best she could to pretend that this was, indeed, just like all the other times they'd showered together. It was a large, fancy shower so they could both have space to wash alone if they wanted to, but that didn't seem the case right now; in fact, Spencer had to step around the other girl just to get into the shower, but that didn't bother her, it meant Emily was letting her get close: and that had to be a good thing._

_Suddenly, all of the humor and lightheartedness that Emily had instigated with the provocative comment and that ever so meaningful wink, dissipated into the water that swirled around at their feet, as the realization of their entire situation became far too much for the broken girl to handle. Never before, had she felt so vulnerable, so open, so...naked. All of a sudden, she had nothing to hide under, nowhere to look and nothing to cover her. Everything was raw and true. Honest._

_Spencer rolled her eyes, still dwelling upon Emily's earlier comment, and grabbed the shampoo from the rack, squirting some out into her palm before tentatively reaching towards the taller girl, who had turned her back to her now, leaving the brunette with the painful view of A's harshest revenge._

_"Emily, I'm just going to wash your hair now, alright?" The brunette told her gently, perfectly aware of how much it would alarm the other girl if she touched her without warning, as much as it pained her to admit that A had done this much damage to the girl that she once knew so well. The taller girl nodded her consent, allowing Spencer to begin working the creamy liquid into her scalp._

_Emily was too lost in the sensation that her best friend's fingers were causing, to ask any of the questions that were on her mind; it bordered on a head massage more than an attempt at washing her hair, and it felt great. She'd let Aria and Hanna hold her, in the last few days, but the occasional embraces didn't alter the fact that Spencer was the one that touched her the most since she'd been assaulted. The one who hadn't been afraid to go near her, who hadn't treated her like she may break._

_Even if it was just to help her get clean like the nurses from the hospital, the tan girl couldn't help but feel that everything was just that little bit more intimate with Spencer, and right now her whole body seemed to tingle from the gentle touches to her head._

_The brunette grinned broadly, as the other girl hummed with her eyes closed, taken back with the sound to a happier time, with a happier Emily._  
><em>"There, all done." She said pulling her hands away, ignoring the pout that developed, as she set about washing her own hair.<em>

_"Can you get washed yourself or would you like a hand?" She asked, trying to keep her tone neutral, and not at all patronizing, as she turned her head into the warm spray, to rinse her own hair clean. Before the hospital stay, the thinner girl wouldn't even have bothered to ask before helping her, but something told her that recent events had changed that: had changed them. The last thing she wanted was to make Emily feel uncomfortable in any way, especially given she still wasn't sure why the other girl had been crying not so long ago._

_Gently, the taller of the two, took the shower gel and began to rub it into the less painful areas of her skin,_  
><em>"I can do most of myself but if you don't mind?" She replied, with the same self satisfied grin that is often exhibited by a young child, who's learning how to be self sufficient.<em>

_"No problem." Spencer smiled back at her, turning back to face her with a warm smile, whilst she quickly scrubbed her own body down- unaware of the eyes watching her enviously. Emily stared, transfixed, at her friend's body. whilst she lathered on the foamy soap, her eyes automatically trailing along the pale skin of her, seemingly, endless, long legs, up to skinny hips and over her toned stomach. Her exterior was as perfect as the personality within it, unmarred in every way; flawless. Beautiful._

_"You okay?" She smirked, noticing Emily's far off gaze, and subtly ignoring that it had been directed at her. The raven haired girl cleared her throat and looked away in embarrassment,_  
><em>"Yeah." She muttered.<em>

_Spencer let it go, assuming she was just nervous, not wanting to humiliate her any further, and stepped closer to her best friend, taking some more gel onto her hand. "You ready?"_

_Emily nodded and tried not to think too hard as she felt the smaller girl's hands on her body, enjoying the emotion invoked by her touch: the brunette was always so gentle with her, and even though her hands never drifted close to the more sensitive parts of her body, which she'd already taken care of, she could still feel her body begin to react._

_And not in a bad way, which surprised her, she'd been worried that now they'd mentioned the possibility of a 'them' she'd feel the need to pull away. As much as she'd been willing to allow herself to be closer with Spencer, possibly more so than they ever had been before, over the last month or so, hugs, holding hands, even sleeping cuddled up together she'd known it was all done in friendship._

_She loved Spencer, and she was, above all else, her best friend; the one person in her life that she trusted right now, that she knew she'd be safe with. After being raped, that was what that she had needed, to feel safe again, and the brunette gave that to her. She gave her the security of knowing that she could drape herself all over the other girl and all she would get was her signature quirky smile and a raised eyebrow... or maybe she'd get laughed at too, but she wouldn't be rejected._

_And she didn't want that to suddenly change now that their relationship was changing into something more than friends._

_She needed Spencer to still be her safe place._

_Even if they decided now that what they'd confessed in the hospital was a mistake, that they could never be anything beyond friends, she needed the way Spencer made her feel to stay the same. Heaven forbid, of course, that the brunette changed her mind._

_But what if she didn't? Could that be worse? What about when things got more serious? A couple of months down the line, when their relationship had evolved past contentment through soft, chaste kisses. Could she expect the other girl to wait that long?_

_"Hey, you're not falling asleep on me now, are you?" The brunette asked with a small laugh, as she finished helping her friend, which quickly changed into a frown of concern when the taller girl didn't respond. Slowly, the thinner girl raised her hands to rest on the girls sides- just above her hips, being careful not to touch any of her, still painful, skin wounds- to hold her in place._

_"Emmy?" Spencer asked, ducking her head lower to catch the deep, brown eyes that were avoiding her again. "Look at me, Em." She ordered, hoping to calm whatever storm was going on inside her best friend's head; but knowing all to well, but she couldn't help if she wouldn't let her._

_The paler girl just waited, keeping them standing there under the warm spray, as Emily continued to look just below her eye line. She could be patient when she needed to be, not that she exhibited that skill very often, but now she was getting worried. Really worried. And there was a big difference between nagging and worrying, right?_

_Sighing the brunette pulled the weaker girl into her arms, softly wrapping her own arms around her fragile waist, aware that one of her worst injuries was just inches above her right hand,_  
><em>"C'mere." She whispered, relieved when the other girl's arms slipped around her shoulders, and she felt the familiar sensation of her face pressing into her neck. She knew now that, whatever was wrong with the girl in her arms right now, she wasn't mad at her- which came as a bittersweet relief: if she wasn't mad, what could possibly be wrong?<em>

_They stayed that way for a few minutes, with Emily just enjoying being held, and her best friend trying desperately to work out how to ask what was wrong._

_Eventually, the broken girl caved, not be able to take not knowing,_  
><em>"Is this real?" She whispered into an ear.<em>

_Spencer pulled back, and looked at her with a puzzled expression, being sure to maintain a certain degree of contact between the two of them,_  
><em>"Is what re-"<em>

_"Us." Emily interrupted, "Whatever 'us' means now... is it real?" She asked again, still not looking directly at the brunette, as she trailed a hand over her skin and down the thinner girl's chest to rest over her heart, marveling to herself that their friendship allowed such intimacy._

_The shorter girl swallowed hard, uncertain as to whether it was the question or the contact that made her heart palpitate that little bit faster,_  
><em>"Do you want it to be?" She questioned carefully, aware that it was a lot for the other girl to get her head around given she'd been unconscious in the hospital less than four days ago-something that they had yet to discuss- and not wanting to scare her by insinuating anything, either way.<em>

_The tan girl gulped, fighting back oppressed tears that had been stored somewhere deep within her, reserved especially for the girl holding her. These tears hurt more to shed than any others, because it felt like, every time she cried them, she lost a bit of Spencer herself, pieces that she couldn't afford to lose._

_"Yes."_

_The brunette breathed out a sigh of relief, gathering Emily back into her arms, and rocking them side to side gently, trying not to hold her too tightly, afraid of the ramifications if she did. Barely pulling back, she looked into the other girl's eyes, not letting her out of her hold._  
><em>"We'll take things really slow okay? As slow as you want, no pressure." She told her honestly, cupping her face in one hand.<em>

_Emily nodded shyly, then leaned forward, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder, waiting anxiously for the feeling of nervousness to dissipate within her,_  
><em>"Thank you." She whispered softly, her voice breaking over the newly settled silence.<em>

_"Honey, you have nothing to thank me for," Spencer laughed, running her hands through her best friend's wet hair soothingly, "For being here for you?" The taller girl nodded again, into the brunette's shoulder, provoking another giggle from the other girl. "Just doing my job, sweetie."_

* * *

><p>"Just doing my job." Spencer Hastings murmured as she slammed the car door shut, sliding the keys into the ignition with a satisfactory noise as the engine revved. Her thin, dark eyebrows knitted together in concentration as twisted in her seat, staring out of the rear window in order to reverse down her driveway safely, unintentionally catching the eye of the happily smiling baby residing in the back seat.<br>"Are you looking forward to your day with Grandma- Fields?" She asked her casually, unable to fight the grin that crossed her lips involuntarily as her child gurgled happily, clapping her hands enthusiastically, "Of course you are." She grinned, turning up the music that had started to play on the radio, and singing along- much to the child's amusement.

Like Spencer, herself, Arianna always seemed far more at ease when she was on the move, whether she was riding in the car, being rocked in her mother's arms or pushed down the street in her stroller; it was instantly calming for the child. It never failed to amaze her mother's how driven she was, at only three months old, being able to communicate her every want and need sufficiently clearly for her age. Not that she ever had much to want for, with two doting parents and godmothers- or rather, godmother.

It had been a month now since Hanna Marin had up and left, without so much as a word. It had Aria distraught and Emily sincerely worried, but Spencer hadn't found herself too concerned over it all; after all, in both their minds, it made sense. But it seemed that the brunette was the only one who understood that entirely: that, when things got to hard, or too painful, for the blond, she left them behind until she was ready to deal with them.

The other thing that only Spencer had realized was just that: that she would, eventually, deal with them. She'd come back, when she was ready, and on her own terms, to deal with whatever she'd shut out before. And when she did, she'd be forgiven without a second glance, because that's what family did. And she was their family.

"Alright then, here we are." She muttered, pulling up in the driveway of her mother in law's house and unbuckling her daughter from her car seat, spotting her wife's car on the driveway, "Sure looks like Mama beat us here." The baby beamed again, reaching out towards her mother and grabbing at her face as she spoke, in what she could only assume was an affectionate gesture.

Once Pam had reassured Emily for the thousandth time that she was, indeed, perfectly capable of watching a young child for a day- after all, she had done a perfectly acceptable job raising the girl herself- the couple were in the car once more, speeding down the street towards a day that neither of them had dreamed would come so fast.

Time is a relative concept; dependent on many factors in the equation, it can differ and change, alter regards each concept, and, although the problem of it's speed is, generically, psychological- it still remains impertinent. The length of five years is debatable, subject to the age of the beholder: for a child, five years is a lifetime, to a teenager, it is an era, and to an adult, it is merely a blink.

The five years leading up to this event for Spencer and Emily had been a roller coaster.

* * *

><p><em>"Do you know that feeling? That feeling when train tracks start to seem appealing and not breathing anymore doesn't sound so bad? Well, do you? That feeling when you feel so hurt all you want to do is scream and cry at the same time, when you wish it would all be over." The ebony haired girl cried, her eyes turning as black as her hair as ire filled them, turning them away from their own reflection in the eyes of the girl that she loved,<em>

_"Yeah, Em, I do." The brunette spat back, satire dripping from her acidic tongue and falling to the floor, staining the cream carpet red, as it mixed with the other girls tears in a pool of hurt. "It's called loneliness. And anger. And hurt." _

_The taller girl grinned,_  
><em>"Loneliness is my friend." She laughed, staring her best friend in the eye, "They're all my friends." <em>

_"Loneliness is not your friend!" The thinner of the two yelled back, trying, and failing, to disguise the fear that resonated inside of her at the words of the younger girl. She'd seen things like this before, heard those words and felt this pain- but shortly after the last time she'd heard them, she'd woken up, drench in cold sweat and screaming for help._

_"No-one is." She crowed, sensing the effect that she was having on the pale girl before her, and relishing in the fact that someone else was also feeling pain._

_Spencer gulped._

_"Yeah, well nobody's really my friend either," She offered feebly, _

_"Not when you desperately need one. When your parents are too busy with themselves, when friends are rare and when even the one that matters most decides she'd rather spend the night with her boyfriend instead of you, even though you're hurting…" Emily sang, mirth glinting in her eyes, "Oh yes, I know all about that little incident."_

_The words stung so much, that the smaller girl didn't even have time to question how the girl before her knew about what had happened between herself and a certain blond, before tears began to swim in her eyes, clouding her picture of the person that she'd thought she'd known so well._

_"Then, you're just laying there, in bed writing broken words while the salt stings in your eyes. And she's there; laughing, flirting and probably not even thinking about you." The tortured soul continued, laughing as she did. _

_"It hurts to say that maybe you're a bit jealous. Not jealous of her boyfriend, God knows you'd never want to be like him. No, jealous of her, of how easy she has it. She has no trouble having fun, she has plenty of options while you just sit around at home wasting the day and dreaming for more."_

_"She's just selfish for not thinking about you."_

_The brunette saw red, disbelieving of the resentment that was floating around the room, from a girl that had once been so sweet and pure, so selfless and honest. _  
><em>"You're wrong." She choked out against her hurt, <em>  
><em>"Oh?" Emily laughed sweetly, pursing her lips as she feigned thought, "No, I'm sure I'm not wrong..." <em>

_"No, that happened. And I was mad." The thinner girl conceded, taking the other girls hands in her own, "You're wrong about what you said, her being the one that matters most." _

_The taller girl flinched at the contact, scowling defiantly, but- to Spencer's surprise- not pulling away. _

_"You're the one that matters most." She admitted with a triumphant smile. "Yes, you are." The taller girl glowered at her, becoming increasingly frustrated that the other girl wasn't retaliating angrily, giving her an excuse to get mad._

_"Maybe just maybe things wouldn't be as bad if you had a bit more self-confidence, if you had fun more often, if you just tried a little harder…" She tried, hoping that the snide remark would provoke the desired amount of fury within her best friend._

_"Maybe." The paler girl smiled back, her serenity exhausting all efforts to the contrary. "These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which, as they kiss, consume." The smarter girl recited, the corners of her mouth twisting into a small smile as she felt the younger of the two relax at the words, _  
><em>"That's Shakespeare." Emily remarked, all the bitterness in her voice fading. The brunette smiled,<em>

_"Well what can I say: old habits die hard." _

* * *

><p>The car slowed to a steady stop, the lack of the engines noise rendering the atmosphere entirely silent, as both inhabitants of the car waited for the other to speak first. Spencer cleared her throat awkwardly, turning to stare out of the window upon feeling her wife's eyes on her; burning into her skin. The acid rising in her throat informed her that she was about to cry, but her conscience knew that she couldn't. Today, she was the strong one.<p>

Although no one really understood what the worry was, it seemed.

"Spence..." Emily whispered, her voice catching on her tears, despite the evidence that she was attempting to remain composed, "Spencer?"

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, the older girl turned to face her wife, revealing for the first time that she, herself, had tears streaking down her pale cheeks,  
>"Emily-" She murmured, pausing to clear her throat once more, before continuing. Shifting closer as she did, and placing her hands on the hips of the girl that she loved, "Emily, I need to tell you something, and in return I need a promise." When the taller girl nodded, took one of her hands in her own, in desperate need of the small reassurance.<p>

"Anything, Spence, anything at all." Her wife swore, squeezing her hand tighter, and reaching out to kiss her temple gently, having learnt years ago how to deal with the brunette in any situation.

"Em, I- you and me, we've been through a lot together. Okay? We've been to hell and back to get to where we are now, and I'd be lying if I told you that it was easy for me, and I know it wasn't easy for you either, but, we made it, right?" She laughed, averting her eyes from the other girls as she blinked back tears to no affect, sending the salty droplets down her cheeks instead, "But Emily, I can't go back there. There were sometimes Emily, back then, when I cried for hours at a time, because, because I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to help you, and that- that one day, you wouldn't be there anymore, and I'd be alone...that I'd lose you. And I can't go there again today. Not now, not ever. We've built a life together now, Emily, and, no matter what, I'm going to stand by you. Forever. But Em, I can do this alone- God knows, I'm trying, but I cannot be strong enough for the both of us this time. I need you to promise me that, whatever happens today, that you will still be my Emily. Because I can't go back to that dark place where you aren't."

* * *

><p>AN

What are your opinions? Where are Emily and Spencer going?

Apologies for the lack of any Haria (that will change shortly) and the lack of depth of this chapter, also, but I feel that it was necessary.

I love reading your reviews, so keep them coming, please, they honestly mean so much to me.

~LaughLoveLiveXx


	12. Chapter 12

Hey, Haria fans, this ones for you. There is plenty of Spemily also, so don't worry. I think that the previous mystery is cleared up in this chapter, although it's not very direct, it's there.

The statistics in one part, or the odds as they're called, are borrowed from another story, as I couldn't find them online and they seem accurate enough; it's not an area I know a lot about- not plagurized, just borrowed numbers and facts.

Hope you guys like it :)

* * *

><p><em>"Ugh," Spencer moaned, crinkling her nose up at the movie on the screen, watching in disgust as Noah and Ali's lips met in the rain, "I'm never going to fall in love- it's far too cliche." Her best friend giggled, laying back against the headboard next to her, and turning her head to see the other girl more clearly.<em>  
><em>"Really?" She laughed, "I think it's sweet."<em>

_"You would." The brunette sneered playfully, returning her dedicated gaze,_  
><em>"What's that supposed to mean?" Emily pouted with feigned indignation, giving Spencer a playful shove and trying, against hope, to ignore the sparks that flew between the two of them.<em>  
><em>"You're sweet Em," She explained, once she'd recoiled from the shove, maneuvering her whole body to mirror the other girl's, "And kind, and really, really pretty. And someday, you're going to make some boy very very happy; you're going to fall in love, and get married...and have a whole bunch of sickeningly adorable children."<em>

_The darker girl giggled again,_  
><em>"And what about you, if you're predicting the future?" She teased, leveling their eyes so that they were practically nose to nose,<em>  
><em>"It's different." Spencer mused, "Boys don't like me like they like you. They argue with me, and they tease me...they practically drool on you."<em>

_"They're jealous, and intimidated by you." Emily countered, "And you argue with everyone. Guy or girl."_  
><em>"Hmmm." The smaller girl bit her lip, uncomfortable showing this much emotion, telling this much truth. "I've never really met a boy that I liked though." She admitted quietly, breaking their eye contact for the first time upon feeling a sudden wave of shyness.<em>

_"Maybe you don't play for that team." The taller girl suggested casually; sensing Spencer's vulnerability and respectively averting her attention,_  
><em>"That would go down with my parents like an open top submarine." She joked, easing the tension in the atmosphere palpably.<em>

_Faking a smile, the quieter of the two girls pulled her dressing gown a little tighter around her, shifting uncomfortably on the bed as she mulled over the other girls words. Every unclaimed hope that she'd ever had filtered away; her best friend hadn't ever asked the same questions as she had, like she'd hoped._

_Or had she?_

_It seemed to the younger girl that she had, maybe, just maybe. And out of everybody, she should have been the one to judge what thoughts her best friend had, or hadn't, considered. She knew her better than she thought she knew herself: she knew that her favorite colors ranged from white, to cyan, to crimson; that she told everyone that French abstract movies where her favorites, when she really liked teenage comedies as much as the other girls their age did, but that she really did enjoy classical music; that her birthday was June 12th 1994, and was practically the only time in her life that Spencer had ever been late for anything; she knew how smart and how perceptive she was, in every way._

_Except for when she innocently over looked the truth, as she so often did._

Had they known then? Either of them, deep, deep down, how their lives would turn out? Spencer wondered as she reflected on her earlier life; seeing her younger self displayed clearly in her wife's eyes.

Oh, those eyes.

Counting the colors of her iris, the smaller girl lost all of her fears, melting into the shared hopes and dreams that they'd built, which sparkled auspiciously in the window's to the soul that she had come to love so much. To adore. The tears of strength forming in them reflected those of her own, absorbing identical consternation, through looking back just as deeply.

"I promise." She whispered shakily, her words coated with a bad attempt at nonchalance, which dissipated immediately upon a stern look from her wife, "I promise you, that, no matter what happens today, tomorrow, or any time after that, I will always be here for you, and for our daughter. I'm not going to let the darkness take me."

Spencer nodded stiffly, considering her wife's words carefully before raising her eyes to lose herself again,  
>"Good," She whispered, her bottom lip trembling dangerously, "Because I really need you right now." She fell forward into her wife's arms, comfortable now that there was only the obvious to fear.<br>"Whatever happens now, we'll face it together."

The way the brunette's face fit perfectly into the crook of her wife's neck, it was obvious that the bond between them was nothing less than fate. Hands moved along skin gently, with such a healing nature, that all the fragments of both broken girls should have been pieced together under the touch, next to shatter again. Rising again, the shorter girl raised her head to be completely level with her wife, cupping her hands around the thin, tan cheek bones, running her thumbs across the heartbroken tear stains, marveling at the contentment that it brought feeling the other girls hands on her waist.

She bit her lip, nervous for the first time in five years. Her adolescent butterflies returned full frontally; starting in the pit of her stomach and fluttering up her throat, making her lips tingle with anticipated anxiety. Emily's eyelids fell at the sensation of Spencer's long fingers in her hair, tantalizingly tickling the sensitive skin in the back of her neck.

With a gulp of nervousness, she closed the gap between them, capturing the taller girl's trembling lips in her own. Fire ignited in her stomach, making her ovaries twitch as the butterflies burned into a crisp memory. Emily's lips moved sensually against those of her wife's to the rhythm of their heated heartbeats; she sucked hard on her bottom lip, enjoying the feeling as Spencer shivered under her hands.

"We'll get through this." Spencer murmured confidently against her wife's swollen lips, smiling slightly and pulling the corners of Emily's mouth up with her own. "We will."

* * *

><p>Coming home was supposed to be easy. The feeling of walking through your own front door, seeing your own photographs hanging in their frames on the walls and falling asleep in your own bed, was supposed to bring comfort; relief, relaxation...happiness. But sometimes, home is the hardest place to be. Memories float like ghosts in every corner, and previously spoken words linger in the air, unwanted reminders of what once was taunting the present.<p>

But even when it's the hardest place to go, it's a sanctuary. It's family. It's the one place that will always be there...no matter what.

Home will always be there. She will always be there.

Hanna walked through the door uneasily. Aria's door wasn't usually open. _Their _door, if that was still permitted; unless, of course, she forgot to lock it when she returned home from work, in which case the brunette would scold her playfully and roll her eyes. She never minded anything that she did wrong, really.

"Aria?" _'I'm home'_, she added in her head, relief filling her heart at the familiar hallway. Following the soft music, the blond crept upstairs, bracing herself for whatever may have happened in the next few minutes, to find her best friend crying on the bed , on _her_ bed.

"You know this song?" he taller girl asked quietly from the doorway, where she'd been paralyzed since she set eyes on her best friend,

"I started listening to it just after you left." She mumbled bitterly, not looking at the blond once since she'd heard her voice,

"After I left." She repeated desolately, provoking a long, painful silence. "Me too. You know, it's funny, I even requested it once and dedicated it to us." She looked at her feet, uncomfortably. "I hoped you'd hear it."

"Really?" She asked apprehensively,

"Really." Hanna admitted, "I hoped you know that I was thinking about you. I always think about you. That's why I'm here."

The brunette smiled for a second, before allowing her face to fall back into it's newly perfected pout, tears beginning to fall down her gaunt cheeks,  
>"It's not like it matters." She brooded, turning over on the blond's bed to face away from her entirely, "You'll be gone when I wake up."<p>

The blond frowned, her brow furrowed hard in confusion,  
>"What? Aria, I'm back now, for you."<p>

The smaller girl laughed dryly, her body language screaming bitterly at the other girl,  
>"That's what you say every time." She snapped, "And then you wrap your arms around me, and you whisper comfortingly to me as you dry my tears, and I sleep better than I ever do. And you fade away while I'm asleep. You're not there. You won't fool me this time."<p>

"But Ar- I haven't come back before?" The blond pleaded, shaking her best friend by the shoulder's without even recalling the movement that it had taken to get to the other girl, "I'm back."

"Yeah," The brunette agreed, sighing as her eyelids fluttered shut, "For now."

* * *

><p>"Mrs. Hastings?" A nurse dressed in a pristine white uniform called out across the quiet waiting room, surveying the people perched on the grubby white, plastic seats, reading out of date magazines and sipping soda from the vending machine, until her eyes finally set on a couple in the far corner. Both girls turned their heads towards the noise; the smaller of the two standing up and nodding, extending her hand as the other woman made her way towards the pair.<p>

"Spencer Hastings," She introduced, shaking the nurse's experienced hand firmly, "And this is my wife, Emily."  
>The woman adopted a sympathetic smile, that lacked the qualities of warmth and sincerity, it had obviously been worked hard at, forced many times in the same situation, and had gotten more polished and less real every time.<p>

"Are you ready?" She asked impatiently, ignoring Spencer now and focusing all of her attention on the shaking girl next to her. Emily nodded shyly, her legs quavering under her weight, all of a sudden not feeling sufficient to carry her anymore. With the feeling of incompetence heavy in her heart, she grasped frantically for her wife's hand, sighing heartily when she felt it squeezed back reassuringly.

Somehow, and she would never know how, Spencer always knew what to do, what to say. And when. Aria had once called her 'the master of time', but she was wrong; Spencer was more than that. She was the master of time, of words and of emotion. Of debate and of intelligence. The master of hurt and fight, of destruction. The deity of reassurance and of comfort.

"We're already running late. Come with me." The masculine woman barked at the two girls before her, proceeding forward through two heavy doors, leaving them swinging expectantly in her wake. Wrapping an arm around the waist of her wife, Spencer took a tentative step forwards, never taking her eyes off of the girl beside her, though her own eyes stayed trained on the floor, obviously willing herself not to cry.

"Can we have a minute alone, before we start?" The brunette asked the nurse once they'd entered the room, sensing how disconcerted her wife was by the woman's curt approach. The nurse scowled at the thinner girl, about to respond harshly, but taking pity upon the girls pleading eyes and the scent of desperation that filled the air.  
>"One minute." She grunted, begrudgingly marching from the room and slamming the wooden door behind her, leaving the dull sound ricocheting around the room.<p>

"Emily?" Spencer coaxed, sitting down in a provided chair and pulling the terrified girl into her lap; getting a strong sense of deja vu as she did, remembering all of these similar apprehensions from five years ago. "Em, it's going to be okay."

"That's what you said the first time." She spat bitterly, "And that time it wasn't so okay."

"No," Spencer condescended, pulling back to look at her wife squarely in the eyes, "And neither was the time after that. But the last time? The last time wasn't so bad, huh?" Emily nodded slowly, smiling shyly,  
>"But this isn't the last time." She pointed out stubbornly, her pessimistic nature remaining as obstinate as ever,<br>"The odds are good." The brunette smiled, her intellectual personality shining through as always,  
>"The odds suck, Spence."<p>

"Uh uh," The smaller girl contradicted, shaking her head and making her long curls bounce as she did, "One in one thousand sounds pretty good to me." She laughed, and Emily face fell,  
>"Try one in one hundred."<p>

Spencer frowned, puzzled at the odd sensation of having to question her own accuracy,  
>"But the odds of contracting through a-" She stopped, biting her lip and mentally berating herself ten times over, <em>the odds of contracting through a partner were one in one thousand, but that wasn't the case: it wasn't with a partner, it was rape.<em>

"Oh, Em," She breathed, squeezing her wife's hand as hard as her heart was twisting inside her chest, "Sweetie, I'm sorry." The taller girl laughed dryly, blinking back tears and faking the strength that she needed,  
>"It's okay, at least I get to be right for once."<p>

Spencer shut her eyes tight in despair, feeling awful for having made the situation worse than it was before, not being able to stop kicking herself over her previous comment, not having thought for a second that she wasn't correct. She was pretty sure that it was the first time she'd ever been proven wrong in her life.

The taller girl eyed the needles on the desk, all regimental and categorized by size, surrounded by papers with her name on them and test tubes covered in numbers. Because to them, that's all she was.

A number.

They didn't care what today's outcome was; just like they hadn't cared five years ago, and they wouldn't care next time. Or the time after that. Because nobody ever cared. The world was a harsh, unforgiving place, where noone cared about anyone one but themselves; with no regard for what they did or who they hurt in the process.

No one cared about the number of lives one night in a dark alley could change.

No one.

* * *

><p>"You really think that A could have done something to Arianna?" Hanna asked, her voice sounding strained and sad at the thought of their nemesis going as far as to harm an infant: and for what purpose? Revenge? Over issues that had long ago been repented, trivial issues-snide comments and spiteful laughter, along with a few honest mistakes.<p>

"No… I mean, I don't know. I think," Aria replied, holding a throw pillow close to her chest as she keeps eye contact with Hanna, careful not to let the blond slip away again now that she was back. "I think, that I don't know what to think."

"I wish you would have told me," The taller girl admitted, feeling slightly ashamed herself that she didn't realize how horribly wrong things were with her best friend.

"I wanted to, but I didn't know how."

"Honey, I live you so much. I wish I'd been able to be there," Hanna said slowly, her brow furrowed as she fought with the walls that she'd put up, as they tried to remain steady against her overriding vulnerability.

Aria looked away and replied sadly,

"I just...I felt weak and…" She whispered as tears fell from her eyes, "You'd just started to be you again, after everything in college, and with this baby, you were so happy and I didn't want to ruin that for you," The brunette finished, looking back at Hanna through her tears.

"Hey," The thinner of the two snapped, catching Aria's attention and looking at her intently. "I never want you to think that you can't come to me… for anything. No matter how bad things ever get between us, you'll always be like a sister to me," she assured her. The shorter girl nodded, and smiled slightly at the corners of her mouth.

And that smile was what broke everything down for Hanna. She saw now, in that movement of a muscle, the conflict that Aria's conscience had been grappling with for the past month or so; it was there, in her eyes. The remorse and heartbreak that was swirling within her was coded in the green flecks of her iris, clouded slightly by the flood of guilt that was threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"Promise?" Aria whispered.

Hanna moved to hold her, wrapping her best friend up in her arms and pulling her close, in the way that she should have done long ago.

"Yeah. Ar, it's okay...it's okay."

"I'm really sorry." Aria pleaded with herself, through a new set of tears as her best friend rubbed her arms comfortingly, still wrapped in the embrace. "I just didn't know what to do. I was scared and lost, and I know, I know that I shouldn't have done it and it was really, really cruel. I betrayed you! But I didn't know what else to do...and then I thought that I lost y-y-you." She staggered over her shaking breath, the force of her sobs becoming tyrannic as she tried to clear her conscience, not certain that she was forgiven by her best friend.

Hanna rested her own head on the top of the smaller girl's and continued to hold her tightly, whispering in her ear words of comfort and reminiscence as she attempted to conquer her moral conflict.

"I'm never going to leave you again."

* * *

><p>The brunette sighed painfully, pressing her palm flat against the french doors that lead to her backyard, watching as her wife sat on the grass, with her knees drawn up to her chest and her head resting in her hands. Swallowing back tears, her breathing steadied as she pushed the doors open, slipping out into the cool spring breeze and making her way towards the girl of her dreams. Years ago, on a night much like this, the girl before her had taught her how to believe in something when everything else was lost. Now it was her turn.<p>

_"Spence, do you ever look up at the sky and pick a really bright star and wish on it?" a young Emily asked, lying at her best friend's side; Spencer sighed, looking up at the sky from her position on the grass in her backyard._

_"I stopped wishing on stars when I was about 6," the high school freshman said quietly, her eyes lowering from the window as she shifted to lay on her back._

_"Why?" Emily asked, her face perplexed. She turned her head to watch the brunette, intent on the smarter girl's answer clearing up this foreign paradox._

_"Because I realized that none of my wishes were gonna come true, so it was kind of pointless…" She trailed off, looking up at the sky still, with shy memorization._

_"That is the most depressing thing I've ever heard," Emily laughed innocently, unaware of how life would turn out for her in the years to come. Spencer turned her head to look back at her, smiling gently._

_"I don't know why," she said, "it's not like I've given up on living or something like that. It's just some stupid little thing-"_

_"Spencer Hastings, you take that back!"_

_"Take what back?"_

_"It is not stupid! I do it all the time! And it works, so take it back!"_

_"Em, you're being ridiculous-"_

_"No I'm not," The taller girl argued. "Here: Pick a star, shut up and close your eyes." Spencer, who had turned onto her side at some point, eyed her best friend with suspicion. But the tan girl remained perfectly obstinate, so she looked up in appeasement, found a star, closed her eyes, and relaxed onto her back, skeptically. _

_"What are you doing?"_

_"Proving you wrong. Now make a wish."_

_"Seriously? Come on-"_

_"You saw a star. Now wish on it!" _

Slowly, Spencer opened her eyes, focusing all of her attention on her wife, enjoying being back in the state of mind of her younger self once more, mimicking the situation entirely.

"I proved you wrong." Emily said smugly, smiling gently. "I told you I would." The brunette felt a light, dizzy sensation, and then like she was falling, or floating, and the smile that crept on her face after was completely involuntary.

"You don't even know what I wished for." The brunette protested,  
>"I do." The taller girl argued,<p>

"Prove me wrong again," she said, looking up at Emily. The darker girl smiled warmly at her, taking in the other girls entire appearance. She leaned down, capturing her lips again, a little harder this time, before pulling away,

"Do you believe in wishing stars now?" Spencer hesitated before nodding, smiling her infamous smile, the one that she reserved specifically for her wife.

"Yeah," she said," I do."

* * *

><p>AN

Hey guys, sorry to have to re-upload this chapter, but I needed to edit certain parts.  
>Being perfectly honest, I hit a bit of a road block on parts of this chapter, so I read some other stories for inspiration. Several fics, from other archives, gave me some ideas. I understand now how bad it looks, but, having only started using this website a few months back (and not even being aware of it's existence) I didn't know that borrowing ideas was frowned upon, as I know a lot of authors who have done it in the past. I have edited the scene that was too similar to another, and, from now on, all of my ideas will be entirely original- except for if you believe in the original thought theory, in which case that's an impossibility.<br>Deepest regrets and apologies,

~LaughLoveLiveXx


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

_The sky was as black as the shadows that moved seemingly of their own accord underneath the the dim light of the scarce street lamps. As if they knew, the birds ceased to sing and the animals did not move stealthily as the legends of fairy tales had always said. There was no movement in the darkness of the town, save the eerie whistle of the proverbial wind in the whispering trees and the wary footsteps of the towns most infamous teenagers._

_Teenagers- a fretful term generally used vaguely. The name one gives when tending to be derrogatory, not wishing to refer to a young person as an adult, or even adolscent. A term that was used loosely with regard to the four sixteen year olds, by the adults who had lost faith in them, deeming them undesirable with and beyond help. Not teenagers, in reality, but scared, fearful children._

_Eight feet moved quickly along the clean concrete- whitewashed in an attempt to show the town to be something which it's inhabitants knew it not to be; an attempt to hide the secrets within- illuminated only by the light of the street lamps and their flashlights._

_Two feet danced determinedly along the sidewalk, her pristinely kept moccassins never making a sound as the rubber of their soles tapped against the ground beneath them._

_Another pair ran nervously across the asphalt of her driveway, dodging all streaks of light so as not to be visible to her two enemies- the unknown, and her mother: she wasn't sure at this point whom she was more afraid of._  
><em>With tender nervousness, her direction altered frequently as her head turned back in as much apprenhension as she looked forward with.<em>

_Lastly, a pair skipped fretfully together, in the light of only one flashlight; clinging together as if their lives depended on it- not knowing that they may. With their arms entagled and their hands clasped together, the two made their way in imperfect synchronization. _

_Out of the shadows and into the woods, all four crept from different angles, jumping at the sounds of their own footsteps and breathing. Twigs snapped and birds fluttered their wings, startled at their late night company- not that they should have been; this had become some what of a routine. _

_It always happened the same way, at least: first came a new piece of information, then came the text, followed quickly by a summons from one of them. After that, it was all done in a blur of windows and doors, hushed whispering and flashlights, and the omnipresent paranoia that surrounded their every move._

_"Hey!" The second girl breathed in shocked relief as she collided heavily with the first, forming a second pair. She clutched onto the hand of her best friend with a small explanatory smile, blushing in the darkness when the other girl squeezed back. "I'm so glad I found you, I felt for sure that I would be lost in here forever."  
>"It's okay, we're not far off." The shorter girl remarked comfortingly, shining her flashlight in deliberate places precisely, watching carefully along the beam of light for any form of movement. "We were supposed to meet at the halfway point. That's one hundred, thirty six steps away from the road. We're approximately twenty steps away from where we found Ali's bracelet, which was fifteen steps east of the halfway point. Ergo, we're only about thirty five steps east of the halfway point- see?"<em>

_"I see." The meeker girl smiled back, masking her silent adoration badly as she marveled at her best friend's remarkable talent. Worryingly so, she'd found herself thinking about it a lot lately: not just her mathematical, or other academic, abilities, but her sporting talents, and her eloquence. The charisma that the other girl possessed overwhelmed her sometimes, especially when she thought of how under appreciated she was in terms of her family life. _

_Thoughts like these had begun to rather disconcert the taller girl; almost forcing her to re-evaluate their whole existence together. For years now, they had leaned on each other when needed, as nothing more than friends, but maybe, just maybe, they were a little more than that._

_"Hanna! Aria!" The smaller girl called softly across the woods, quickening her pace as she easily clambered over fallen branches and dodged every footfall in sight. The relief in her voice aggravated the other girl's subconscious and the feelings that plagued it, giving the voices in the back of her mind more ammunition than ever.  
><em>

_It was nights like these, especially, that brought with them a strange feeling of comfort that somehow out weighed their atrocity; the sentiment that, no matter what was going on in any of their lives, they would always have each other- even at ungodly hours of the morning or night, with no explanation or obvious reason, each of the four of them found within them enough trust and faith, in the other's and the fantasy of their friendship, to follow without question._

* * *

><p>"Aria?" Spencer called out as she pushed open the door to her best friend's house, holding it open behind her for her wife and daughter, "Aria, are you awake?" The brunette caught her wife's eye sadly, having gotten this response too many times lately. Every morning, either Spencer or Emily made a point of going to visit their best friend, checking that she wasn't wasting away moping around the house.<p>

At first, Aria had remained Aria, going about her daily life as usual, almost, slowly slipping into a state of what resembled depression; a state where she barely left the house, and hardly spoke to anyone who bothered to visit. The only thing keeping her alive, the couple thought, was her child: at almost seven months pregnant, her baby was due to make it's appearance sometime soon, and all that either of them could hope was that it would be the exact event that the brunette needed to pull her out of this state.

Shooting her wife a meaningful glance, Spencer set down her purse and Arianna's changing bag on the floor before beginning to climb the stairs, her exasperation showing in her every movement. Her tenacity had always been one of her best attributes, but her patience was wearing thin now with regard to her best friend.

Halfway up the stair case, she paused, listening hard and craning her neck around slowly in a circular motion- as if to hear everything from ever angle- before turning around and heading back down and through the kitchen, with her- very confused- wife, following closely behind her.

"Well, well. The plot thickens." Spencer's declared, stopping dead in the doorway to Aria's living room, her hands on her hips, helping her to succeed in creating an impression of massiveness. Emily stopped shortly behind her, almost collided with her and startling their- previously sleeping- child, who was still resting on her shoulder. The taller of the couple cursed softly under her breath, rocking the infant hastily as she bent her head to peer around her wife's intruding body.

"Hi, guys." An shamefaced blond whispered, standing up- presumably out of respect- and facing them awkwardly, her eyes fluttering to and from the brunette's penetrating gaze. Twisting her thumbs into the belt loops of her jeans, she rocked awkwardly back on her heels- it was that very gesture that alerted Spencer to the change in her best friend.

Ever since the blond had lost her puppy fat in the tenth grade, she had become found of showing it off in every way humanly possible: her clothes were always typically elaborate, high fashion designer garments (that Emily had always thought were a little too fancy for everyday wear), which always revealed either a lot of her immense cleavage, or her toned legs- sometimes, even both.

But not now.

Today, the blond was dressed in blue jeans- that looked as though they were faded from age, not as a fashion statement- and a pale pink hoodie, which had it's sleeves rolled up far enough to reveal that she hadn't bothered with any form of accessories. For that matter, it didn't look like she'd bothered with anything: her, usually pristine, blond curls were scraped messily into an untidy ponytail, and her pale face was free from any form of make up, showing every blemish on her skin- every flaw that she was always so desperate to hide.

"Hanna." Spencer nodded curtly, rendered speechless at the unexpected sight of the blond, "What are you doing here?" Both Emily and Aria watched with baited breath as the two strongest personalities faced off in a battle of wills, as the two of them had done so many times before.

Their eyes locked together- dark on light- as they fought within themselves for the right words to say, knowing that their relative future depended in the few seconds that followed, those seconds that would determine how their lives shaped up from there on out.

"Making amends."

Silence settled, for what felt like hours, around the fragmented confusion of their friendship, the dust only being disturbed by the flash of bright white hope as Spencer offered the blond a smile. She nodded, diffusing the tension and answering all of the questions that had been plaguing the emotional environment in which they found themselves stuck.

"Oh, wow!" Hanna exclaimed gently, her excitement dampened by the emotion in the room, causing her voice to whisper so as not to disturb the contentment, cautious of rocking the- newly stead- proverbial boat, "She's gotten so big!" Her smile widened as she directed her gaze to Arianna, crossing the remaining distance between herself and Emily, with her arms outstretched.

Scowling, the taller girl flinched away, pulling her daughter into her arms and covering her as best she could with her hands and turning her body away from her estranged best friend,  
>"You're not touching her." She growled, her eyes narrowed towards the girl that she had thought she'd known so well. Hurt flashed across her face, her hands still frozen in their open motion as her best friend removed the thing that she cared for most in her life;<br>"What- Emily, why?" Hanna asked desperately, fixing her eyes on her goddaughter with intense desire,  
>"Because, Han, she doesn't need this. Heck, I don't need this!" The raven haired girl shrieked, shaking her head in fierce denial, not breaking the invisible connection that she and the other girl were still holding taught, "I can't deal with this on top of everything else. And I won't inflict it on her, either."<p>

* * *

><p>"Come with me, it seems as though we have an awful lot to talk about." Spencer grimaced, beckoning to the heartbroken blond standing opposite her, holding open the heavy wooden door invitingly subsequent to her wife's departure. As always, they were playing the game of divide and conquer that they'd played for years to mend their friendships- strategically delegating various emotions and tasks to one another in order to fix what the others had broken.<p>

"So you don't hate me, like your wife does?" She asked tentatively, offering her an awkward smile as the two of them set off down the street that they'd played on since they were children,  
>"Emily doesn't hate you." The brunette assured her, watching carefully as the blond ashamedly focused all of her attention on her feet and the sidewalk. She snorted in contradiction, making the thinner girl laugh, "Oh, I didn't say she wasn't royally pissed at you," she countered quickly, drawing a nervous giggle from the disgraced girl beside her, "But she doesn't hate you."<p>

"And how about you?"

Spencer rewarded the comment with the sort of sarcastic look that only she could manage, locking her eyes against Hanna's for the duration of their long silence,  
>"I could never hate you."<p>

"Really?" The blond asked shyly, her bright blue eyes brimming with unshed tears, that she'd been determined wouldn't spill.  
>"Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with what you did to Aria, or me and Emily for that matter, and we will be having a serious talk about that." She assured her, her best mom-look gracing her demeanor, "But Hanna, I could never, and will never, hate you." She promised quietly, rewarding her with a small smile.<p>

"How, Spence?" The shorter girl murmured, finding her best friends eyes once again. Spencer laughed incredulously,  
>"Because I can see the regret in your eyes, the sadness on your face. It's not hard to see through, Han; and I've been there- hating myself for something that I did, convinced that no one would ever speak to me again. And it was you that made things right. It's my turn now, to be there for you."<p>

"I missed you, Spence." Hanna admitted, meeting her eyes shyly once more,  
>"I missed you, too," The younger girl laughed, rolling her eyes, "I couldn't not! Don't forget what we've been through together, we promised to be best friends forever a long time ago."<p>

_A sad silence filled the air of Spencer's bedroom as the four girl's sat close together on her bed; subtly, that was the real reason that they'd chosen to do this at Spencer's, rather than the other's. Emily's room had the most places to sit, and Hanna's had two beds- but tonight, they needed comfort- they needed to be able to feel one another, close together at all times, possibly for the last time._

_"Guys, I thought we agreed that we weren't going to let this get sad," Hanna croaked out, desperately blinking back the tears that were forming quickly in her bright blue eyes,_  
><em>"We did." Aria nodded, "But I can't help it."<em>

_Spencer leaned across and took Hanna's hand, squeezing it once before setting their joined finger's down on her knee,_  
><em>"We'll still see each other! Every day!" She assured her looking each of the three other girls hard in the eyes, "I promise!"<em>

_"You can't promise that, Spence." The smallest girl contradicted, pulling her sleeve over her fist and dabbing at her eyes, "As much as I wish that you could. You leave tomorrow, I go the day after, and Emily and Hanna are leaving the day after that. It's not possible." Spencer glared indignantly at her, pressing her lips obstinately together,_  
><em>"I meant metaphorically."<em>

_"Hey, Em, you okay?" Hanna asked gently, ignoring the grammatical debate that had ignited between her two brunette best friends, over whether or not it was, indeed, possible for someone to metaphorically visit another. The tallest girl nodded, taking slow, steady deep breaths and licking her lips in concentration- determined that tonight, of all nights, she would be the strong one._

_"Yeah, I guess, I mean...at least we'll be together, that's something, right?" The blond smiled at her, knowing all too well that Emily was going to hate college, and hoping against hope that she had the sense to transfer to somewhere better suited for her, within the first semester._

_The college that they had both chosen had seemed ideal. Complete with a pool and decent academic status- plus Hanna's long sought out fashion/business bachelor's degree. Leaving together somehow seemed less scary, at the time- now, even having each other wasn't much comfort when they considered everything else that was changing. The shorter girl knew that her best friend would leave at some point in the next couple of months, and she'd be alone for good...but it didn't matter. If the happiness of her friends was within reach, she would suffer eternally._

_"I just can't believe that it's over." Emily whispered, drawing the attention of all three of her best friends back to her, "High school, A, Ali...We're done." A look passed between the four of them at her words that conveyed more emotion than any words ever could have done, a look that could only be interpreted by the other three, the three who had provided so much more than friendship in the years that had passed in their company._

_"Before this all changes, I just want to say that I have loved all of the years that the four of us have spent together each moment has it's own value and I'm so happy that we've been together to experience so many things...I wouldn't have wanted to spend this time with anyone else. You've all taught me so much, and through everything, we've stayed really, really close...and I don't want that to ever change! I don't know what I'd do without you guys, because you make me who I am; I'm pretty sure I can't function without the three of you. You're so special to me, and so, so unique...and that's why I love you." Hanna choked out, spluttering on almost every syllable as tears clogged her throat._

_"No, no, no..." Spencer shushed, waggling her finger in the blond's direction comically, "Do no say goodbye!This is not goodbye, okay?" Emily laughed dryly at her girlfriend's denial,  
>"You're right," Aria smiled, "It's not the end, it's just the beginning. We've got a whole life ahead of us together." <em>

"You remember that?" The blond sniffled, blinking back her tears as she smiled honestly this time,  
>"Well, duh!" Spencer giggled, beginning to feel like a kid again- a way she hadn't felt since they'd made the promise,<br>"You promised that even when we need two cakes to accommodate all of the candles for our age, and when getting lucky means finding your car in the parking lot, and when half the people you've slept with are dead...we'll still be there for each other."

Spencer laughed loudly,  
>"Buds over studs, right?" She giggled, holding out her fist to Hanna, who laughed raucously at the brunette's attempt at old school comedy. Instead of pounding her fist, the blond reached out gently and took her hand, for the first time allowing Spencer to see the pain in her eyes, rather than the laugh that slipped from her lips.<br>"Don't ever say that again."

"I love you, S." She admitted quietly, tentatively holding onto her eye contact. The taller girl softened immediately, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around the blond tightly, reveling in the sensation of being back in the company of her best friend.  
>"I love you too, H."<p>

* * *

><p>Human beings are bizarre concoctions of emotion; a substance so weak that, at any slight mismanagement, they may break in a way that is never to be fixed. They are a writhing mass of meticulousness- of gauges and timings, of instinct and logistics. Like anything, the matter of which they are made is subjective, dependent on the nature of the specimen- all are entirely unique, all are different.<p>

Yet somehow, in the midst of all of the individual obstacles that are faced solely, they meet another. And somewhere within that companionship is a connection that cannot be seen, nor explained, but merely felt- like the spark of the flame to which the proverbial moth is drawn.

In us all are insecurities, difficulties that we find must be overcome alone, some so obstinately that we shall die trying. But this match- this attraction, is the sole clue that leads to the realization that not all battles must be lost alone.


	14. Chapter 14

Long time, no update.

Sorry about that.

I'm seriously debating whether or not to continue this story- so please, if you haven't already, share your opinion in a review or PM?

Anyway, on with the chapter.

* * *

><p>Two Months Later<p>

"It's official. The whole street is out." Aria announced as she waddled into the living room, one hand holding up her cell phone and the other placed comfortingly on her swollen middle. She was huge now, at eight and a half months pregnant, but aside from the giant baby bump, her body was as tiny as ever, giving her a rather odd, disproportionate appearance. Her blond best friend looked up at her from where she'd been lying on the floor, her head cocked to the side and a lazy smile on her face.

"Well, at least it's not just us." She said, turning back to the various papers that were scattered around her and picking up her pencil, "Was that Spencer on the phone?"

"Yep," Aria confirmed, a sharp intake of breath following her statement. She grimaced at the concerned look on Hanna's face, rubbing the spot where the baby had kicked, "It took me forever to get any reception, though, and even Spencer was struggling."

"Are you okay?" The taller girl asked, ignoring her best friends' trivial comment and sitting up on her knees, discarding her pencil once more and letting it roll across the carpet, staring at her intently with wide eyes,  
>"Yeah," She grimaced, her voice rising in pitch as she shuddered again, "She's just really active tonight."<p>

Hanna nodded. She still wasn't convinced, but she wasn't entirely out of the doghouse with any of the girl's yet for abandoning them, so she kept quiet; only throwing Aria one suspicious glare before changing the subject.

"So, I have to ask," She began, getting an apprehensive laugh from her best friend, "You keep saying 'she'…do you know for definite yet?" The brunette shook her head with a smile,  
>"Nope, not for definite, I just have a feeling." She murmured, caressing the top of her baby bump, "Trust me, Han, when I find out, you will be the first to know, okay?" She ruffled the blond's hair, returning the grin that had adorned her features, "Now, why don't you show me what you're working on?"<p>

* * *

><p>"Your mother just called, seems as though the power's going to be out until at least the morning." Spencer said, dropping her cell phone on the dresser as she pulled out a pajama shirt and started rooting around for some shorts.<br>"Are you kidding?" Emily groaned, glancing at the clock, "It's only eight PM and there's no power until tomorrow?"  
>"Sure sounds like it," Spencer agreed, unbuttoning her shirt and throwing it in the direction of the laundry basket,<br>"Well, well." The taller girl sighed, her mouth curving into a small smile, "It's eight PM on a Friday night, Arianna's fast asleep and there's no power. Whatever are we going to do for the next twelve hours?" She smirked seductively, crossing the room to where her wife was standing and snaking her arms around her bare waist, running her finger's across her stomach teasingly.

"I have an idea." Spencer giggled, turning in her wife's embrace and wrapping her arms around her neck, smiling as she brushed their noses together, "I downloaded a documentary on my laptop the other day, it's all about the Russian revolution, especially focusing on the misconception of communism within its portrayal- my laptop's fully charged, so we could watch it together?" She suggested, grinning as her wife smacked her playfully on the shoulder.

Emily chuckled lightly at Spencer's dry humor- although she wasn't actually certain as to whether or not her wife was, indeed, joking or not- meeting her wife's eyes intensely. She stroked the small of her back, using the fingers to trace along the thinner girl's spine.

It had been a long time since they'd done this. Too long.

"You're right," Spencer whispered huskily, her lips moving against her wife's ear, "I do like your plan better." Emily laughed, the moment of elation lasting only seconds before she pulled the smaller girl roughly into her, grabbing her hips forcefully and moving her determinedly toward the bed.

Laying her down, she grabbed her thighs and lifted them up around her waist, securing them on top of her hips and allowing herself to be pulled closer by Spencer's death grip on her shoulders. Settling between her wife's legs, she leant in and swiped their lips together softly.

Amazingly, after all the time they'd spent together, every little thing about Spencer still amazed her- still turned her on. When she was stressed from work, or when there was a big trial coming up for some swim team or another- when her muscles were sore, her head ached and her mind was tired, Spencer was the thing she could count on.

Spencer. Always Spencer. Spencer first thing in the morning, with her eyes half closed and her speech slurred; Spencer when she got home from work, the jingle of her keys as she dropped them into the bowl in the hall, the sigh she emitted as she kicked off her heels and slung her blazer across the back of the couch and loosened her tie; Spencer's arms snaked around her waist when she was least expecting it, her breath on her neck- smelling of coffee and peppermint; Spencer on the weekends, curled up in a chair with her long curls cascading down the back of it, her nose buried in a book and eyes wide beneath her glasses.

Everything about her life was Spencer. The drip of the coffee machine in the mornings, the smell of her musky perfume and the tinkling of her laugh; the dazed look on her face when she got up to feed their daughter in the middle of the night, and the passion in her eyes when they kissed.

Spencer was her everything. Spencer was her life.

She kissed her fiercely, her feet leaving the floor as her hands- placed strategically either side of Spencer's body- supported all of her weight, her hips spreading her wife's legs further apart and eliciting a groan from the smaller girl as the buckle of Emily's belt brushed over her throbbing center.

A flicker of playfulness flashed across Spencer's face, her eyes lighting up as she pecked Emily quickly on the lips before bracing the taller girl's weight against her body and flipping them right over, tumbling to the floor in the process.

Not that it mattered.

Conveniently enough for her, Spencer had landed squarely on top of her wife, her knees spread either side of her midsection, effectively pinning Emily to the floor. The brunette smirked at their position as she began trailing her fingertips underneath the thin cotton of the sundress that Emily was wearing, snaking her hands up the taller girl's thighs expertly, pulling the material up with it- her inner Hastings arrogance admiring just how well she'd memorized her wife's body.

She knew exactly how to make Emily scream. She'd learned each and every curve, rehearsed each movement, her choreography changing as they matured, mirroring the need that she saw in her wife's eyes. She remembered where to touch her, sensed when to be gentle and when to be fierce, when to be submissive, and when to take control.

Under her touch, Emily was liquid- under her curse. At her command, the taller girl's muscles would quake, her limbs quivering with anticipation as she teased her, both her body and mind at her mercy. She could make her sweat, make her scream, make her cry.

She could make her fall in love with her all over again.

Her hands danced across Emily's burning skin as their lips met again, this time in fury. Spencer forced her tongue inside Emily's mouth, finding her wife's instantly and beginning the quest for dominance; like warriors, they fought, hand to hand combat, each move reciprocated fully to the extent of stalemate. Emily found Spencer's bottom lip; taking it between her teeth and tugging on it, making it dance in the way that her hands were, determined to show the smaller girl just how crazy she drove her. She bit down. Hard.

Spencer gasped, taken by surprise at her wife's ferocity. It was a battle, a raging war between them. Emily was in the lead- Spencer was wounded, at her mercy, down on her knees and beginning for release. But she'd win. Spencer Hastings always won.

"Emily…" She whispered huskily through her hair, flattening her body against Emily's own, her hands working blindly against the buttons of the taller girl's clothing, "Say my name." The tan girl shook her head, entangling her fingers in Spencer's hair and bringing her in for another kiss. It was chaste, this time, and the thinner girl's lips quickly made their way back to her wife's ear, leaving a trail of butterfly kisses in their wake. "I want to hear you say my name," She teased, sliding the dress off of her wife's shoulders, allowing Emily to wriggle out of the straps herself, "I want to hear you whisper it in my ear."

The taller girl obliged, heavily aroused now and willing to play whatever new game Spencer had concocted within the dangerous realms of her vast imagination,  
>"Good, good," The brunette purred slowly, her fingers wandering down her wife's body with a feather light touch, barely even grazing against her skin, but giving her goosebumps all the same. "Now I want to hear you scream it."<p>

Emily locked her eyes on Spencer's defiantly, the everlasting battle of wills holding them frozen in the moment. Spencer was stubborn, but Emily somehow always found a way to…persuade her.

"First you'll have to make me scream." She taunted, removing one of her hands from her wife's hair and flicking her bra clasp open, pulling it off in one swift movement and allowing her hands to palm her the smaller girl's breasts- if nothing, pregnancy had at least given her a boost in that department.

_"First, you'll have to catch me!" Emily giggled, darting out of Spencer's reach and ducking behind the bed, the smile never leaving her lips as she screamed; she heard Spencer laugh and her footsteps dancing around the side of the bed, determined to make good of their bet. As soon as she got close enough to grab her, Emily was away again, as graceful on land as she was in the water. _

_Reaching the window on the opposite side of the room, she stumbled, leaving Spencer with the perfect opportunity. She lunged forward; grabbing her girlfriend around the waist and lifting her clean off the ground, spinning her around despite her playful attempts to fight her off. _

_"Spence…" Emily cried out through a fit of giggles, "Spencer, cut it out!" The brunette laughed, setting the taller girl's feet back on the ground, but keeping her arm firmly in place around her middle, using her free hand to flick the long, dark tresses over her shoulder._

_"You know, I would," Spencer smirked, placing a soft kiss on the exposed, tan skin of her neck, "But you don't sound very convincing." Emily laughed again, relenting at Spencer's touch and leaning back against the thinner girl's body, allowing her to support her weight entirely. _

_Life had changed a lot for the two of them in the last few years. They were in their freshman year of college now, and were taking it in turns to make the commute between Danby and Princeton every weekend to see each other as much as possible. As much as they hated to admit it, the long distance side of their relationship was harder than they'd expected; both of their friendships with Hanna and Aria were firsthand proof of that. _

_But that didn't matter at that moment. _

_All that mattered was the two of them, alone in Spencer's dorm room. _

_Originally, Spencer had had a roommate, an outgoing intellectual girl who had- although she wouldn't admit it- been almost identical to Spencer in terms of personality; but after approximately three weeks the girl had gotten sick of Spencer's late night phone calls and OCD tendencies, and had asked to be transferred someplace else. _

_Leaving Spencer all alone in that dorm room. _

_A room big enough for two. _

_"Well, you know what they say," Emily whispered huskily, turning in Spencer's arms and leaning her forehead against her girlfriends, "If you can't beat them, join them." _

_Tentatively, she wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck, growing in confidence as she felt the brunette's hands rest respectively on the middle of her back, rubbing slow circles around the area as Emily eased her body closer; this wasn't the first time that they'd touched like this, but it was the first time that Emily had found herself entirely at ease with it. _

_She could sense how nervous Spencer was by the way she stood, with her back rigid and shoulder's tense, depending entirely on Emily for any source of humanity. Gently, she leant forward and pressed her lips against her girlfriend's, brushing the tips of their noses together affectionately as she did, their eyes meeting briefly as they pulled apart, the glow in Emily's beyond description._

"Always up for a challenge." The brunette remarked through labored breaths, her hands wandering down Emily's taut abs, caressing the tops of her thighs but expertly avoiding the exact point where Emily needed her the most. On impact, Emily whimpered, enjoying the sensation of Spencer's hands and tongue working in unison as her wife sucked sensually on her pulse point, biting down affectionately over the mark she was leaving.

"A true Hastings." Emily panted, trying desperately to disguise the breaking of her will, "But I still won't scream your name." Spencer arched her eyebrow, using the hand that wasn't busy undoing her wife's bra to spread her legs further apart, torturously swiping a finger over the taller girl's dripping center, her signature smirk spreading across her face at the hum of pleasure the tan girl emitted.  
>"Spencer…" Emily warned through gritted teeth, her strength dissipating as she felt the smaller girl's hand slip inside the waistband of her underwear, her finger's following the same pattern as they had across her skin before.<p>

"Yes?" She teased, her ever cocky smile turning playful as she giggled, "Can I help you with something?"

Emily scowled.  
>"You know full and well what you can do for me." She growled, taking her wife's hand and guiding it lower, "And you'll do it. Now." Her eyes were closed in a mixture of anticipation and frustration; usually, she enjoyed- even prolonged- foreplay, but now she was desperate.<p>

Beyond desperate.

"Will I?" Spencer questioned, leaning closer, her hot breath filling Emily with arousal as it swam through her ears and penetrated every sense she had. With an immense, fiery passion, Emily let go of her wife's wrist, using both hands to grab ahold of her head, entangling her finger's securely in Spencer's messy tresses, pulling her closer and smashing their lips together. Once again, they were fighting.

A war of love, a war of passion.

The movement jolted Spencer into action; her long finger's slipping easily inside her wife's body with hardly any effort. Nothing took much effort between the two of them anymore. All the anxiety and the worry, the uncertainty and the confusion had faded a long time before, leaving nothing behind but the natural instinct that they'd started out with.

_With a quick glance toward the locked dorm room door- checking that the chain was still firmly in place- Spencer began to maneuver the both of them in the direction of the bed. Normally, the fact that she only had a single bed bothered her- she'd been sleeping in a queen size since she was out of her crib- but today it made for more intimacy, greater closeness. _

_ Today was different in more ways than that. _

_It was almost as though their whole relationship had begun again; giving the both of them time to reconsider the other in a different light. The time apart had given them ample opportunity to meet new people, and Spencer, especially, had anxiously speculated that in many ways finding another girl, a stranger, would be a lot easier than being with Spencer, herself. The less they knew, the less it hurt, she figured. She waited for the day that Emily would call, her voice shaking and her breath hitched, explaining in a clichéd tone that what they had just wasn't right for them, or that they were better off as friends. _

_But it never rang. _

_And now, here they were. After years of friendship, of trust and of trauma, of tragedy and confusion, they were here. On Spencer's bed. Alone in her dorm room. _

_Spencer gulped hard as Emily ran a nervous hand over her abs under her shirt, careful to find the perfect balance between chaste and seductive (one that Spencer was sure she'd mastered a very long time before) and pulled her in for another kiss. _

_Kissing was good, kissing was familiar. Spencer knew how to kiss, and- with Emily- it came as naturally as breathing. Like with everything she did, the brunette had to be the best, she had to be ahead of the game- anything new or unfamiliar just fell onto her to-do list. _

_New classes, new people, new city- they'd all, in the past year, been an obstacle for her to overcome. And she'd done it easily. She read books, researched, talked to people who knew the subject; she'd observed and she'd analyzed and everything had fallen into place. _

_But not sex. Not Emily. _

_This was a kind of new territory that she couldn't fathom, no matter how much homework she'd done._

_Kissing was easy, though. She'd watched movies, read magazines and discussed tips with her friends- practiced on the back of her hand and her pillow (and even once with Hanna when they were fifteen, not that either of them would ever admit it), and she'd had her fair share of experience with the boys of Rosewood._

_With sex she was on her own._

_In private, she'd read about it, looked it up and analyzed it from every angle, treating it as though it were a project for her English class: compiling notes and tips so as to be the best she possibly could. On paper, it was easy. _

_But as soon as Emily touched her, her mind went blank. All of her prior knowledge felt weak and useless, her brain felt fuzzy and her memory distant. And in the weird, muffled silence, all that remained was Emily. _

_As much as she tried to hide it, the idea of losing her virginity scared Spencer. _

"God, Emily." The brunette moaned as her wife flicked her tongue over one of her hardened nipples, "Em…" With her fingers still inside her, Emily tensed, feeling her body drawing closer and closer to release. She tugged on Spencer's hair and pulled her firmly into place astride her hips, grinding against her wife's center as her walls tightened around her fingers. Spencer gasped at the movement, quickly adjusting to their new position as she felt her way back into her comfort zone. Her free hand roamed the length of Emily's naked torso, her elegant fingers grazing against her skin- tantalizingly tickling the toned body beneath her.

"Spencer…" Emily sighed emphatically, her grip tightening on her wife's hair, in need of something to hold on to as Spencer teased her to a point of desperation.

Sex with Spencer was always a game, a battle. They dance around each other, circling each other purposefully, their routine filled with darting movements and sudden touches- the element of surprise both their best friend and worst enemy. Along the verge of a narrow cliff, they dance, teasing and dangling the other over the edge but never quite letting go until the weaker of the two least expected it.

As Emily came, Spencer grinned, pumping her fingers slowly in and out as she kissed around her wife's chest, the sense of urgency she'd had before replaced with a comforting sense of contentment.

She'd won, she always did.

* * *

><p>"So, I know it's early, but these are the sketches for the fall line. It's just something that I thought of while I was…you know." Hanna trailed of awkwardly, handing Aria a few sheets of designs as she hung her head. She still felt guilty, although the brunette had told her not to worry; she knew Aria so well, in a way that most people didn't even know their spouse, that she was certain that she hadn't yet entirely rectified the issues that she'd created between the two of them.<p>

The blond had seen Aria act this way with people since they were thirteen, and she's learned by heart the different levels of the brunette's heartbreak. She'd been on the receiving end of her lectures, of her fiery temper, and even of a few slaps; she'd been iced out and cried over, but never before had she experienced the way that the smaller girl was treating her now.

Although they were together, acting as though nothing had happened and the world between them was perfectly as it should be, she could sense the hurt in Aria's eyes- the distrust, the fear that she'd up and leave again…the disappointment.

She saw it in Emily too, who had, within a matter of days, apologized for how hard on the blond she'd been and had tried to mend the bridge between them; which, on the surface, she'd done, but something still wasn't right.

It wasn't something that she could describe, or name, something with symptoms or even physical evidence, but something she felt, something that hid in the silence that floated around them, bringing up the topics that they didn't dare speak of.

In fact, it was only Spencer that Hanna felt entirely normal with again, which she had found to be a saving grace. It was only Spencer who had the audacity to tell Hanna exactly how she felt about what she'd done to her face, and once the awkward conversation was over the two had moved swiftly onwards.

"These are really great, Han." Aria grinned, looking carefully over the drawings in her hands, "I love the detailing here, and the use of the feathers goes really well with our summer line as well; it's a really great transition between the seasons."

Hanna beamed with pride, shyly taking her sketches back and setting them down on the floor, her eyes falling to her hands as they rested in her lap.  
>"Hanna." Aria called out quietly, shifting her position on the floor to get closer to the blond and wrapping an arm around her shoulder's, coaxing the her best friend to rest against her. Hanna sighed as she relaxed into Aria's arms, leaning fully against the smaller girl and breathing the air of contentment deeply as she let her eyes flutter shut.<p>

"This is nice," The taller girl sighed, turning her head slightly to settle her face into her best friend's neck,  
>"Yeah…" Aria sighed in agreement, joining her hands around the blond's neck and smiling into her hair, "Just you and me."<br>"I like the sound of that." Hanna giggled, moving her arms to pull herself closer into her best friend as she relished in the sensation that it had brought with it. "I miss this."

Aria chuckled, running her fingers through Hanna's curls affectionately. Lately she'd begun to feel a strong maternal instinct toward the blond, as though she was hers to protect; like mother and daughter, like sisters.

"I've missed this, too."

The two of them lulled into a comfortable silence, wrapped up in each other as they watched the interaction between them from an outside point of view, each of them reflecting upon themselves and their lives in the silence that they hardly ever found.

"Ouch, did you feel that?" Aria laughed, her hand resting against her stomach where the baby was kicking fiercely. The blond laughed and twisted in her arms, resting her hand over the smaller girls and meeting her eyes in a bright smile before dipping her head down and dropping a small kiss on the brunette's swollen stomach. "Looks like someone didn't want to be forgotten about."

* * *

><p>"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" Emily sighed into Spencer's hair, pulling the brunette on top of her and nuzzling her face into her wife's neck, losing her fingers in her hair once more. Spencer pulled away slightly and winked at her, a suggestive look on her face,<br>"You may have mentioned it once or twice." She teased, fighting the urge to switch their positions and laying contentedly in her wife's arms.

"Good." Emily smiled, "Because it's true. And you need to know it." Spencer's head found Emily's shoulder, resting against it as she curled their legs together in an intricate pattern that they'd designed years before.  
>"I do." The brunette sighed lazily, "I do."<p>

Placing a kiss on her forehead, Emily settled Spencer even further against her, enjoying the way her wife's bare skin felt against her own. The smaller girl murmured happily, her face lost in the sea of dark hair that was swimming over her wife's shoulders, one of her arms securely pulling herself flush against the taller girl's side and her other draped carelessly across her stomach.

"Em?" Spencer whispered into the, now dark, bedroom, Emily moaned in response, her face turning toward her wife's, and her hands subconsciously marginally tightening their grip on her body, "I love you, too, by the way."

The taller girl laughed in her sleepy state, messily aiming a kiss at Spencer's cheek and pressing her lips against her ear instead, for once just enjoying the simple things in life. With no power, no distraction of the TV, or of their laptops or work- with no 'quick' calls or Emails to send, and in darkness that even A wouldn't bother to try to watch them in- the two of them had finally found the time for each other that neither of their hectic schedules would allow.

Emily was beginning to think of the blackout as a blessing in disguise.

Spencer had already fallen asleep, she could tell; her breathing had evened out from its usual high-speed (nothing about Spencer Hastings could possibly work at a human pace) and her grip had lessened somewhat on her skin.

The smaller girl's eyelids fluttered in her sleep, and her wife couldn't help but wonder what she was dreaming of- whether she was as safe inside her head as she was within her arms. Since she'd gotten pregnant with Arianna, the younger girl's protective instinct had doubled regards her wife- to a point where she was sure that Spencer was getting sick of her.

She'd also stopped sleeping.

Instead, she'd become prone to worrying she'd always been a worrier, but now she was far worse than she ever had been before. She'd find herself stressing over everything: the mortgage (even though both she and Spencer were in incredibly high paid jobs), Arianna's development (despite her being given the all clear), Hanna's disappearance (she'd been back for months) and anything and everything else.

Phone calls in the night weren't something that eased her nerves, either.

Emily froze, her eyes flicking from Spencer's cell phone to her wife's sleeping form in her arms; she was sure that there wouldn't have been any reception, especially as she knew how hard it had been for Spencer and Aria hours before. As gently as she could, she shifted Spencer off of her body, slipping out of their bed and grabbing it off of the dresser.

Unknown Caller.

Her heart beat fast as she held the cell phone in her shaking hands, almost dropping it as she read the caller ID, or therefore lack of. Never before had they ever gotten a call from A. It had always risked the anonymity between them.

But that was then. And this was now.

A bead of sweat trickled down her forehead as she debated, first whether to answer, and second whether or not to wake Spencer. Her wife hardly slept at all as it was, but a clue this big in the A hunt might be more than that to Spencer entirely.

A clue like this could break her.

Something as huge, as obvious, as a phone call from A hermself, could derail Spencer entirely send her spinning off on yet another wild goose chase, examining red herrings and foregoing as much sleep as possible in order to get even an inch closer.

A clue like that could destroy Spencer.

With her heart in her mouth, Emily allowed her shaking thumb to graze across the screen of her wife's phone, touching against the glowing icon in the left corner on its way to her ear.

"Hello?"


	15. Chapter 15

A/N

Now, not only do I have to apologize for the delay in this update (again) but I'm also going to apologize for all of the future chapters that have horrifically long periods of time between them.

Hope you guys find it worth the wait.

Reviews are very much appreciated.

* * *

><p>Nothing had moved. Nothing, save Spencer tossing and turning in their bed across the room. She was only three feet away, if that, and it had only been a matter of hours, but already she felt as though a wedge had been pushed between them.<p>

In her sleep, the brunette shifted, bringing her hand up to her face and rubbing her eyes, smacking her lips contently as she murmured in her sleep. Emily smiled to herself as she realized that that was the exact noise that their daughter made in her sleep.

She'd never watched Spencer like this before; as though she was going to break at any second if she didn't watch her carefully enough. If she blinked, she'd shatter.

She knew that was exactly what A had wanted. Give something to Emily that would turn Spencer against her. Divide and conquer. It was A's game.

She was playing.

A was winning.

_"This is getting ridiculous, Spence." Emily moaned as she struggled to pull shut the zipper on her duffle bag early one frosty October morning. Her girlfriend turned around at the dresser. Her hair half twisted into a high French braid, the other half cascading over her shoulder,  
>"You need some help with that?" She smiled, pinching her hair her right hand and making her way over to the bag,<br>"Not the problem, honey." Emily laughed as the brunette scowled at the stubborn zipper, tugging on it hard,  
>"What is then?" The smaller girl asked, sitting on the bag and wriggling around to try to alleviate the zipper as she continued the intricate twisting of her hair,<em>

_"This!" The taller girl cried, throwing her hands in the air in frustration as she began to pace the room. "This. Spence, I'm working as a swim coach. Technically, I don't have to be at work until eleven AM and I'm still up at six doing this awful commute every day. And when I'm not, you're late to your classes because you've had to drive four hours from my apartment to your dorm room. This whole sleeping over every night and getting up at ungodly hours to pack up everything and drive back. You know how many times I've gone to my closet and realized that what I'm looking for is four hours away at my girlfriend's place?"_

_"What are you saying?" Spencer asked, a small smile curving on her lips,  
>"I'm saying that I love you. But I hate this living apart." <em>

_"Then it's settled." The brunette grinned, "You'll move in with me."_

_Emily rolled her eyes, smacking Spencer on the knee,  
>"Then we'll meet in the middle." <em>

A hint of a smile flickered across Emily's face as she saw, in her wife, memories that she was too afraid to lose. She watched her with a passion that she once swore that the closest she'd get to was in the movies that she watched. Like _The Notebook. _She smiled again as she thought of the many times that she'd watched that movie, the passion on the screen and the running cynical narration that Spencer provided every time, each time with a new level of satire- though Emily was sure that she secretly enjoyed it far more than she'd let on.

Spencer's eyelids fluttered a little as she rolled over onto her back, one of her hands reaching up to rub at her left eye before falling limply back against the pillows again, murmuring something inaudible as she did.

With the dial tone of the phone call echoing in her head, she shuffled over to her wife and slipped her legs under the sheets, needing to feel the warmth of Spencer's pale skin against hers as she contemplated the conversation that she'd had not too long ago. Even asleep, Spencer made her feel safe.

_You do have a choice._

The sadistic laughter echoed around her brain, bouncing off her memory and sending painful reverberations around her body. She shuddered. Spencer's head rolled into her lap and she absent mindedly stroked her hair. It had been straightened, today, she noted, and it slipped through her fingers like sand. It felt nice, but she liked it curly better- not the sort of soft waves that her curling iron achieved, or the pristine tumbling curls that she once spent a whole day, when they were thirteen, learning how to make- the tight, natural curls that appeared within minutes of her hair beginning to dry, and spiraled out in all directions regardless of her attempts at brushing them. Spencer's hair had always been the one thing in her life that she struggled to control.

_Make it, or I'll make it for you. _

"Oh baby." She whispered, wriggling down in the bed so that she was lying next to her wife fully now, with her head resting comfortably on her chest, "What are we going to do?"

_"What are we going to do now?" Spencer moaned, her head hitting the steering wheel as her body crumpled in defeat. For the fourth time since they'd started out, something had gone wrong with Spencer's car- first, it had been a flat tire; second, they were out of gas; third, the lights stopped working; and now it was even refusing to start. _

_Emily rolled her eyes, patting Spencer's thigh softly as she climbed out of the car and walked around to the front of it, rolling up her sleeves before she lifted up the hood. She stared at it quizzically for a second, taking in each and every wire before delving into them, unclipping them and clipping them back together again, opening each valve and staring into the open spaces behind them._

_"Wow, I didn't realize that I fell for a mechanic." Spencer laughed from the side of the car, wiping down the edge and perching on it, leaning against the open hood for support, "Seriously, where did you learn how to fix a car?" _

_Emily smiled wryly, leaning right over to get a good look at the engine,  
>"My dad was away a lot, someone had to take care of this sort of thing. Besides, once my mom found out I was gay, I think she kind of assumed that this would be my sort of thing." <em>

_Spencer chuckled. _

_"That's true." _

_"Got it!" Emily squealed triumphantly, her hands covered in oil as she emerged, a plastic object in her hand; "The oil cap broke off and it all leaked out." She explained to a bemused Spencer,_

_"Can you fix it?" _

_The taller girl grinned and nodded, looking carefully from her filthy hands to the mess of oil and wires,  
>"Should be able to," She murmured, trying to recall what her dad had taught her once when she was nine, "Do you have any duct tape?" <em>

_"Should I be scared?" Spencer asked, quirking an eyebrow in Emily's direction. _

_"Yes, if you don't go look." _

_"Yes ma'am." The brunette laughed, jumping down from her perch on the car with a mock salute, "I think there's some in the trunk." _

_After a few minutes she returned with a roll of duct tape and a quart of oil in her arms, a triumphant grin on her face. _

_"You know, Em, we could just call triple A and go home, I'm not crazy about going to visit my parents anyway." _

_Emily raised her eyebrows, sending her girlfriend a reprimanding look._

_"Well, you're going, whether you like it or not." _

_With a glare that Emily sensed was fake, Spencer thrust the eclectic items into her girlfriend's arms and watched in admiration as she quickly filled the oil tank and doctored it expertly.  
>"Done." She grinned, slamming the hood down and wiping her hand across her face, smearing it with oil as she did. <em>

_"Uh, babe?" Spencer laughed as her girlfriend turned to face her, "You got a little something, right-"She trailed off laughing, reaching up to wipe the smear of black off of her best friends face,  
>"Did you get it?" Emily asked worriedly, leaning toward the car and squinting at her reflection in the windshield,<br>"Not quite, come here." She tried again, swiping her fingers across the stain again and elongating it further. _

_"Spencer!" Emily moaned when she started to laugh again, "You're making it worse, and I have to meet your parents in, like, an hour. An hour, Spence!" _

_The brunette chuckled again. _

_"Geez, Em, calm down. You've met my parents before. You practically lived at my house when your mom kicked you out." _

_"You're mean." _

_"I know." _

_Spencer giggled again and Emily cracked a reluctant smile. _

_"I'm meaner." _

_"You're so not. You don't have a mean bone in your body." _

_Emily's eyes glinted, her mouth curving into a wicked grin._

_"Wanna bet?" She asked sweetly, her eyes meeting Spencer's briefly before darting her hand out and wiping the remainder of the oil on her girlfriend's pale skin. _

_A look of shock crossed Spencer's striking features as her mouth fell open, emitting a shrill laugh. She rubbed the excess liquid off of her skin and lunged at her girlfriend, catching herself around the taller girl's body and landing them both squarely against the hood of the car as she knocked them both backwards. _

_"God, I love you." Emily sighed as she reached up to cup Spencer's face in her hands, "Despite you having covered me in oil before going to dinner with your parents." _

_"You're funny." Spencer smirked, pressing her hands against Emily's shoulders and pushing her back against the car, "And beautiful."_

_"Ooh, chivalry?" Emily giggled as her girlfriend sought out her hand and kissed it gently, "Why don't you just marry me already?" _

_Spencer stopped short, her body freezing as she hovered over her girlfriend, her muscles still in shock. _

_"I'm serious, Spence." Emily whispered gently, tangling her fingers in her girlfriend's hair, "Marry me." _

_The brunette shook her head slightly, choking something inaudibly as she fumbled around clumsily inside her blazer pocket, her hands still trembling. _

_"How did you know?" She whispered, a tear forming in her eye and threatening to roll out onto her cheek. She flicked open the tiny box in her hand and gestured toward her girlfriend, "How did you know?"_

"I just knew." Emily whispered into her wife's hair as she pulled her closer into her chest and pressed her lips against her head;  
>"Knew what, Em?" Spencer moaned sleepily, rubbing her face against her wife's breasts in a peculiar attempt to wake herself up. Emily laughed softly,<br>"Nothing, Spence. I'm just thinking."

"About what?" The brunette asked, seemingly more awake and sitting upright on the bed, her bony knees pressed into her wife's stomach as she wriggled around to get comfortable.

"Us." Emily mused, patting her wife's thigh gently.

"Well, in my professional opinion, I would say that is a very auspicious topic upon which to muse." She smirked, grabbing her hair in her hands and tying it neatly behind her head.

"Geez, Spence, it's four in the morning and you've only been awake for a matter of minutes, yet you still sound like something out of a Shakespearean novel." The taller girl groaned, laughing endearingly at her wife,

"Actually, Shakespeare only wrote poems and plays. Novels are more associated with Dickens- he invented the paperback book."

Emily rolled her eyes and squeezed her wife's knee affectionately,  
>"Of course he did."<p>

"Em?" Spencer whispered after a moment of silence, "What's really on your mind?"

Emily smiled weakly at her, sitting up opposite and placing her hand gently on her shoulder,  
>"It's nothing, Spencer. Honestly. I'm just thinking too much, that's all." Spencer nodded, planting a quick kiss on her wife's lips,<br>"Do you think you can sleep now?" Emily sighed, watching as Spencer lay back against the pillows before relaxing into her body, relishing in the sensation of her wife's arms wrapping around her,  
>"Like this? Most definitely."<p>

_There's something off that morning. It's subtle, so subtle that you usually wouldn't have noticed it. It's so left field- in your straight and narrow life- that there's an element of surprise surrounding the fact that you've picked up on it; so much so, you make a mental note to praise yourself later. _

_Later, though. When it's all over; or, at least, when you understand it a little bit more- when you've put a name to it. Actually, when you have any comprehension of this feeling at all, would be good. _

_You think it's odd, the way everything feels so normal, yet so wrong at the same time. So far, it had been a regular day in your hectic life: you were up at six, as usual, dressed (in the clothes that you'd picked out the night before) and sat at your regular table in the coffee shop down the street. In all honesty, 'down the street' was a bit of an exaggeration- it was precisely three hundred and four steps from door-to-door, only two hundred and sixty seven providing that you cut through the neighbour's yard (which was fine, so long as you avoided their cat, which prowled the grass between the sprinklers coming on and Mr Next-door-neighbour leaving for work in the morning) as you'd been doing every morning since you were thirteen. _

_Thirteen. It seemed so long ago now, when in reality, it had only been a matter of years. Back then, you'd thought that you were on top of the world, that you knew it all. In fairness, you probably had, to the extent of your teenage mind. Things had changed since then, though; you'd changed. Back then, you were on top of the world…now, you were drowning beneath its weight. _

_A smile graced your clean cut features as you surveyed your surroundings. You loved this place. The archaic, cherry stained wood of the table tops; the quirky artwork on the walls; the smiling faces of the staff as their voices rang out around the room, 'the usual?' they asked with a good natured laugh, mixed with the sounds of students filling the tables slowly as the morning progressed. _

_Everything about this place screamed comfort at you. _

_The familiar scent of pastries and freshly ground coffee floated through the atmosphere and flooded your senses, spiralling up your nose and swirling around inside your head, intoxicating you with the homey feeling that you never got from your own showroom style house. You'd probably spent more time here in recent years that you had at your own 'home', when you came to think of it. After all, you'd been coming here every day- sometimes twice-for four years. Fourteen hundred and sixty one days. _

_You'd changed since then; since you'd starting coming here, since you'd met them. Glancing down, you gave yourself the once over- you weren't bad looking, you didn't think: slightly on the skinny side, but you always had been. It was more of an emotional change, molding you into the person that you'd become. The cynic, the overachiever. The, constantly over compensating, paranoid mess that the events of the last year had turned you into. _

_You tell yourself that it was last year that had changed your life, but you know it isn't true. Last summer was just the climax of the horror story that you'd invented for yourselves. It had changed the moment you'd set foot in that room. _

_Four years ago. _

_Four years with them. Four years with her. _

_You don't regret it though, any of it. At least some good had come of it. You'd lost more than you could ever have imagined, more than you'd ever realized that you had; but you'd gained something better. You had them now; the three of them.__ Especially her__. _

_You're so wrapped up in your thoughts that you don't feel the hand rest softly against your shoulder, shaking all the traces of corrupt reminiscence from your head. Fingers squeeze your shoulder gently and another hand ruffles the thin brown curls cascading around your shoulders, foreign lips place a small kiss against your temple and something quivers inside of you. _

_You haven't seen the giver of the affection yet, but just from the touch of the hands, the press of those ever soft lips against your skin, you can see her in your mind's eye. The contours of her skin float in front of your eyes, the tiny beauty mark to the left of her nose, ever present and almost entirely hidden by her tan skin. _

_And there she is. _

_Beside you now (in the flesh) as she always was at seven thirty in the morning, rewarding you with a shy smirk as she sipped your coffee and pulled a face at its bitter taste; she'd been trying this every morning for four years, complaining about how you took it (black, with no sugar) but drinking it anyway, as if she knew how endearing you found it. _

_Some things never changed. _

_The way she smiled at you when you caught her eye, shy, and yet, with an underlying meaning- coded carefully in a language that only the two of you understood- the endearing eye roll that she rewarded you with whenever you were too caffeinated or overly excited about something; the soft touch of her fingers as they grazed across your forehead to right the one piece of imperfect hair that remained stubbornly in the centre of your face at all times. _

_You'd never seen the appeal of the little things in life before: the appeal of smells and of sights, of gentle, brief touches and whispered comforts in your ear in the middle of the night. _

_Before her, you'd never seen the appeal of anything before. _

_All of the things that, before, you'd seen as weakness- imperfections, fallacies in the flawless argument that you'd conditioned yourself to be- were now things that you craved. _

_To you, she was weakness. _

_And you craved weakness. _

_You're acting strange, you know, and she's noticed it too. Of course she has, you remind yourself, she knows you better than you ever could. It seems that she can feel that funny feeling in the air as well. _

_Maybe it's not even in the air, maybe it's coming from you. Maybe, it's so strong that it's not only filling your brain, but spilling out into the atmosphere, bubbling over out of your ears and leaking into the air around you, emanating from your body like heat from a fire. _

_Her hand rests against the small of your back rubbing small, reassuring circles with her magical fingers, her eyes boring holes into your skull and penetrating your thoughts with her iron rod of empathy. She thinks she's helping. She's not. _

_Slowly but surely, she was killing you. With her sympathy and understanding, her gentility and discretion; as though with every soft touch she was squeezing your heart between her iron fingers, bleeding out your confusion into your lungs. _

_"What is it?" She murmurs in your direction, her gaze still fixed resolutely on the side of your head, respectfully ignoring your turned away face. In your peripheral vision you spy her lips pursing into the adorable pout that she always adorns when she's thinking. _

_It's at that moment that it clicks. _

_That funny feeling that you've been getting? The uneasy twisting in your gut and the pounding in your head? It all slots together. The way her hands burn your skin, her eyes organizing your thoughts for you and her lips making your senses tingle. _

_It makes sense. _

_And it's not so subtle now. It's obvious; it's been glaring you in the face since you were thirteen. For four years. Fourteen hundred and sixty-one days. For so long, it's been staring you in the face- she's been staring you in the face. _

_You swallow hard against her question, squeezing your eyes tight shut as you feel your heart fall to pieces, filling the empty space that it left behind with the shards of your perfect life, oozing out acidic realization. _

_It fills your lungs and you're choking. You're stuttering over your breath, trying to find any form of coherent response, but you'd lost that ability the moment you laid eyes on her. _

_When she whispers your name with a heavy tinge of concern, you realize that you haven't moved for the past three minutes sat stock still staring into your history, kicking yourself at your lack of observance. _

_You'd thought that some things never changed, but, in that moment, everything had. _

_You're choking and stuttering, blinking furiously in a desperate attempt to cloud over your sudden crystal clear reality. The voices in your head fill your ears, the sound of a confliction between instinct and logic. It deafens you. It blinds you. _

_Deaf, blind and incoherent. _

_Hopeless. _

_Infatuated. _

She'd always known, Spencer thought to herself as she lay with her wife curled around her, the fleshiest part of her nose pressed firmly into her neck, her eyelashes tickling the soft pale skin above it. She'd always known, with Spencer, like they had some form of psychic connection. In a way they did; between them there was something that ran far deeper than physicality. Like Emily was engraved into her very being. Into her heart. Into her soul.

Emily had always known.

And now Spencer knew something; something that Emily wasn't telling her.

And she wasn't sure that she wanted the knowledge.


End file.
